Spilled Milk: Scouting for My Son’s America
This post is part of a series of Spilled Milk columns by Emmy Award-winning writer and producer William Lucas Walker that chronicle his journey through parenthood. Spilled Milk, which originates in The Huffington Post, appears on these pages on Saturdays.
 Sometimes it’s tricky explaining America to an 8-year-old.
When our daughter was that age, the trick was explaining marriage. Why even though she and fifty guests had gotten all dressed up one hot June day and witnessed her parents’ very real, very legal wedding, just a few months later voters saw fit to ban marriages like ours in California. Just as they had in 48 other states. She found this upsetting. We did too.
It took five years, but all that finally got sorted out by the Supreme Court, and now marriage for all is once again safe and legal in California, as well as 16 other states and counting. Not that Elizabeth is paying much attention lately. She’s 13 now. The only marriage she cares about these days is her fantasy wedding to hunktastic Chris Hemsworth, star of Thor.
Now it’s our son James who’s turned 8. This time the America I find myself having to explain is the Boy Scouts of America.
Since he was first able to toddle into our home office, James has had lots of questions about a framed black-and-white photograph that hangs next to the door. Because in it I’m a kid, like him. A prepubescent 13, smiling up at my mom as she pins an Eagle Scout award to my uniform as my Scoutmaster looks on. My dad, who rarely takes a bad picture, stands behind me wearing an expression that can only be described as… puckered.
 
“Dude, what is Pop doing with his face?” asked James a few months ago. “He looks like he’s about to lean over and kiss the back of your head.”
“There’s a lesson in this for you,” I tell my son. “He’s telling me to stand up straight. Never talk when someone’s taking your picture. It’s always a bad idea. You end up spending the next forty years in a frame looking like a fish.”
He laughs and moves on. “Did it hurt when Mimi pinned that thing on your chest?”
“Nope. It felt great.”
“Do you still have it?” I do.
I lead my son over to a bookcase in our office where my Eagle Scout pin now resides. He asks if he can hold it. I open the glass door, carefully lift it out and place it in his moist, eager palm.
 
“Wowww….”
The Eagle Award is the highest in scouting. Like most medals, it inspires awe in young boys. One of my first Scout outings was to a tiny church in Mountville, South Carolina, where I watched Monty Crisp receive his. Following tradition it was pinned on by his mother as his dad looked on, fishlike. I knew in an instant I wanted a moment just like that with my parents one day, whatever it took.
The Eagle Scout Award is a beautiful thing to behold, a majestic silver replica of our national bird suspended from a ribbon striped in red, white and blue underneath a silver scroll emblazoned with the Boy Scout motto, “Be Prepared.” Whenever I touch it, I half expect the eagle to start singing “God Bless America.”
I had no idea how much work, sweat, discipline and dedication, and how many years it would take to earn that thing. There’s a reason only 5 percent of all Scouts make Eagle. Sticking with it was the hardest thing I’d ever done. There were a hundred times I wanted to quit, to chuck it all and sleep in on Saturday mornings. My parents made sure I didn’t.
Family is key in scouting; my mom kept my uniform clean, sewed on my merit badges and hauled me and my pals to countless remote locations for camping trips. Then made sure I knew how to clean my pots and pans and launder my filthy clothes when I got home. My dad’s unpredictable hours as a doctor kept him from playing a regular role at our weekly meetings, but he volunteered every spring by giving free physicals to all the boys going away to Scout camp.
“Can you pin it on me,” James is asking now, holding out the medal. “The way your mom pinned it on you?”
“I can’t, buddy. The pin is broken.” But I have something else in mind.
Soon we’re upstairs, in the back of my closet, the section I call the archives. Buried in the shadows, it’s a timeline of my life, on hangers. I pull out the burgundy shirt I wore when James and his sister were born, and the black jacket with the giant red”R” on the front, awarded to writers who managed to survive the sitcom Roseanne. There’s the ACT UP t-shirt I wore to protest the AIDS crisis in New York, the Honey Bun costume from my high school production of South Pacific, and finally, at the very back, I spot what’s left of my Boy Scout uniform, the familiar khaki green shirt and matching merit badge sash.
They’re in pretty much mint condition, thanks to my mom. They were lovingly folded in tissue by her and sent back to California with me a few years ago, after one of her ruthless purges of the family attic.
In about three seconds James is in the shirt, asking what the numbers on the sleeve mean. “That was my troop number. 111.Your uncles and I were all in Troop 111.”
 
James wants to know what it was like in the Boy Scouts. I tell him about the camping trips, show him the three-fingered Scout salute, recall what I can of the Scout Law and explain how to make apple turnovers outdoors, in tin foil. As my son cradles my merit badge sash I explain how the embroidered fabric circles represent some of the skills I learned in scouting: how to paddle a canoe, sail a boat, save a swimmer from drowning, make a tourniquet from a tuxedo, tie knots. I even demonstrate two I still remember, the square knot and the bowline.
That night, James wears my merit badge sash to bed. Ever since, it’s been hanging on his bedpost.
Like his cousins — my brothers’ boys, who followed their dads into scouting– James can’t wait to become a Boy Scout. Unlike his cousins, James has not one dad but two. Which is where things get tricky.
Especially after what happened in Seattle last week. Though the Boy Scouts of America would be lucky to have James, I’m not so sure anymore that after he finds out James will have the Scouts.
I’m referring to the troop that had its Boy Scout charter revoked by the national office after refusing to fire its Scoutmaster, Geoffrey McGrath. An Eagle Scout himself, McGrath, 49, had founded the troop at the request of his church, Rainier Beach United Methodist. He accepted the challenge, he said, because he loves scouting and because the low-income and immigrant children in his area of south Seattle had few after-school activities.
After discovering that McGrath is openly gay and married, the Boy Scouts of America demanded that the sponsoring church fire him. When the church refused, the troop’s Scout charter was revoked.
The Boy Scouts of America has always had a problem with the gays. Not that they haven’t made progress. The Scouts and the gays. The B.S.A. allows gay Scouts now, having last year discontinued their delightful practice of kicking them out and stripping them of their awards. Gay Scoutmasters though? That’s still a big no-no. Sending a clear red, white and blue message that being gay is somehow inconsistent with Boy Scout values.
What happened in Seattle might never have occurred had the leadership of the Boy Scouts of America located their nuts and decided to adopt the policy they themselves drafted themselves a year ago. A policy that would have addressed a changing America that has finally begun to acknowledge the fact that “openly gay” does not equal “Scout molestor.”
According to a draft option on the table as late as January 2013, “the chartered organizations that oversee and deliver scouting would accept membership and select leaders consistent with their organization’s mission, principles or religious beliefs,” according to Deron Smith, a spokesman for the Boy Scouts’ national organization. Individual sponsors and parents “would be able to choose a local unit which best meets the needs of their families.”
Meaning that the many Scout troops that have no problem with gay leaders — like that Methodist church in Seattle — could hire a motivated, experienced, compassionate leader like Geoffrey McGrath.
A discrimination opt-out, if you will.
For a brief moment, this gave me heart. Though not an ideal solution, I had hope that when the time came, that policy might allow our family might find a troop for our son that would welcome us all.
That hasn’t happened.Pressure from the huge block of religious organizations that sponsor so many individual Scout troops prevailed. So the ban on adult Scout leaders of the homosexual persuasion continues to be the law of the scouting land.
Meaning that when James, looking at that photo in my office and dreaming his big dream of becoming an Eagle Scout, asked his final question — “So when I’m a Scout, could you be my Scoutmaster, Daddy? Like Uncle George is part of Dawson’s troop?” There was only one way I could answer, with every parent’s universal code for no.
“We’ll see.”
James has always had a rock-solid moral compass, adhering fiercely to one particular tenet of the Boy Scout Law: “A Scout is true to his family.”
All this makes me fairly certain that when the day arrives that I have to explain to James why I could never be his Scoutmaster, he would turn his back on the whole thing. In a heartbeat.
Back in February, when he heard me discussing Arizona Senate Bill 1062 — the one that almost became law, the one that would have allowed businesses that asserted their religious beliefs to deny service to gay and lesbian customers, James asked what that meant. I told him that it would mean that if we ever visited Arizona — which we never would because that place is a furnace — there would be some restaurants that would allow him and his sister to come inside and eat their food, but not his dads.
“Are you kidding me?!” I’d never eat at a place like that!”
We haven’t had a discussion about what happened in Seattle. It’s not an issue for us yet and besides, I’m not big on crushing the dreams of my kid.
Things could change. When James is eligible to join the Scouts in two-and-a-half years… we’ll see.Â
* * * * *
 * * * * *
William Lucas Walker is an Emmy Award-winning writer and producer whose television credits include Frasier, Will & Grace and Roseanne. He co-created the critically-acclaimed Showtime comedy The Chris Isaak Show. Bill and his husband Kelly are the parents of Elizabeth and James, born in 2001 and 2005. The children were gratified by the legal marriage of their parents in 2008, an event that rescued them from a life of ruinous bastardry.Â
Spilled Milk chronicles Bill’s misadventures in Daddyland. The first recurring humor column by a gay parent to appear in a mainstream American publication, Spilled Milk has regularly landed on the front page of The Huffington Post.Â
Follow William Lucas Walker on Twitter: @WmLucasWalker, @SpilledMilkWLW or Facebook: “Spilled Milk” by William Lucas Walker.    Â
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Last month Donald Trump falsely told reporters Justice Juan Merchan had blocked him from attending his youngest son’s high school graduation, refusing to give him the day off from his required attendance at his New York criminal court case.
Justice Merchan had actually told Trump he would take the request under advisement, but Trump quickly ran to reporters painting the judge as heartless.
On April 15 Trump said, “it looks like the judge will not let me go to the graduation of my son who’s worked very, very hard and he is a great student.”
“It looks like the judge isn’t going to allow me to escape this scam. It’s a scam trial,” Trump alleged.
The Associated Press reported, “Trump then furthered his criticism of the judge on his Truth Social platform, writing in one post both that he ‘will likely not be allowed to attend’ and that ‘the Judge, Juan Merchan, is preventing me from proudly attending my son’s Graduation.’ He wrote in another post less than two hours later that he is ‘being prohibited from attending.'”
READ MORE: Johnson Demands All Trump Prosecutions Cease, Vows to Use Congress ‘In Every Possible Way’
None of that was accurate.
Last week Judge Merchan granted Trump the day off from court to attend his son’s high school graduation.
But The Lincoln Project and others on Tuesday posted the announcement for “Minnesota’s 2024 Lincoln Reagan Dinner With Special Guest DONALD J. TRUMP” on Friday, May 17, 2024.
Trump, as The New Republic notes, will be the headline speaker at the event in Saint Paul, Minnesota, which starts at 5:00 PM.
The fundraiser offers supporters the opportunity to spend $100,000, which grants them “10 VIP Dinner Seats | 10 VIP Reception Passes | 3 Photo Opportunities with President Trump.”
Or, for example, for $50,000, a supporter can get a “Chairman’s Host Table – 10 VIP Dinner Seats | 10 VIP Reception Passes | 1 Photo Opportunity with President Trump.”
Trump plans to attend a fundraiser on the day of Barron’s graduation.
Wonder what Judge Merchan thinks when he sees this. pic.twitter.com/d74ms3FhP1
— The Lincoln Project (@ProjectLincoln) May 7, 2024
KARE reports “the visit is expected to be the former president’s first trip to Minnesota of the 2024 election cycle.”
READ MORE: ‘I’m Not Talking About That Meeting’: Noem Implies She May Have Met With Kim Jong Un
Trump has strong motivation to head to Minnesota.
Over the weekend, as NBC News reports, “Top officials for former President Donald Trump’s campaign believe they can flip Democratic strongholds Minnesota and Virginia into his column in November, they told donors behind closed doors at a Republican National Committee retreat Saturday.”
Barron Trump’s graduation from Oxbridge Academy in Palm Beach, Florida reportedly will be the same day, May 17. Depending on timing, It’s possible Trump could fly from Florida to Minnesota to get to the fundraiser by 5 PM.
Watch Trump’s remarks from April 15 below or at this link.
In a clear attack on the executive branch, the judicial system, states’ rights, and the rule in law in America, Republican Speaker of the House Mike Johnson vowed on Tuesday to use all the powers of Congress at his disposal to end all four current criminal prosecutions of ex-president Donald Trump.
Johnson’s remarks late Tuesday morning came at the exact same time Stormy Daniels was giving sworn testimony about her alleged sexual relationship with Trump in a Manhattan Superior Court case. The presumptive 2024 Republican presidential nominee is on trial for 34 felonies related to falsification of business records when he allegedly paid hush money to the adult film star then covered up those payments in what prosecutors say was election interference.
“President Trump has done nothing wrong here and he continues to be the target of endless lawfare,” Speaker Johnson told reporters Tuesday during an official House news conference (video below). “It has to stop. And you’re gonna see the United States Congress address this in every possible way that we can, because we need accountability. Ultimately, at the end of the day, it’s bigger than President Trump. It’s about the people’s faith in our system of justice. And we’re gonna get down to the bottom of it. All these cases need to be dropped, because they are a threat to our system.”
Johnson’s remarks also come as he faces an ouster threat from far-right MAGA Republican Christian nationalist Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene. The Speaker, who repeatedly has said he speaks to Trump frequently, spent the weekend at the ex-president’s Florida resort and residence, Mar-a-Lago. He also traveled there just weeks ago as Greene’s threats were heating up. Trump and Johnson held a joint press conference on “election integrity,” an image some say was a show of strength and support from the leader of his party.
READ MORE: Trump Threatens to Violate Gag Order and Go to Jail: ‘I’ll Do That Sacrifice Any Day’
Johnson’s job is being protected by Democratic House Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries, and the vast majority of the Democratic caucus, who have promised to protect him should Greene call up her motion to vacate.
Claiming Republicans are “trying to keep steadying hands on the wheel here and keep the legislative branch moving and operating in the best interest of the people,” Johnson also alleged: “one of the things that is also in jeopardy right now is our judicial branch. And it’s our system of government itself. And I don’t think we can say often enough here how much of that has been abused under this administration, and with local prosecutors, state prosecutors, and at the federal level, who are using lawfare. They’re using our judicial system to go after political opponents.”
The Speaker continued his targeting, declaring Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg’s “case should never have been brought.”
“If there’s ever been an example of lawfare. Everybody can look at that and see, the trial is being orchestrated by Democrats, supporters of President Biden who are trying to make a name for themselves. I mean, they’re they’re pretty open about that. They used it in their campaign flips. We’ve got a Democrat District Attorney, a Biden donor judge, whose daughter is a Democratic political consultant and has clients that use the case in their solicitation emails to raise money.”
Justice Juan Merchan, CNN reported last month, made a $15 donation to the Biden campaign, amid a total of $35 total in 2020.
Johnson also called Justice Merchan “a well known Democrat” who “is pursuing an indefensible gag order on President Trump,” and “trying to override President Trump’s constitutional right to defend himself against the constant smears of his political opponents.”
READ MORE: ‘I’m Not Talking About That Meeting’: Noem Implies She May Have Met With Kim Jong Un
Pointing to Special Counsel Jack Smith’s prosecution of Donald Trump in the Espionage Act case, often called the “classified documents” case, Johnson called it “the weaponization of our justice system.”
He called all the cases against the ex-president “a clear attempt to keep Donald Trump in the courtroom and off the campaign trail. That’s what this is. It’s an election interference. It is borderline criminal conspiracy and the American people see right through it.”
Watch a short clip of Johnson’s remarks below or at this link.
Johnson: President Trump has done nothing wrong… it has to stop and you’re going to see the Congress address this in every possible way because we need accountability. All these cases need to be dropped because they are a threat to our entire system pic.twitter.com/Vvg6pQRU52
— Acyn (@Acyn) May 7, 2024
READ MORE: ‘Israel Aid, Ukraine Aid, Kitchenaid’: Dem Mocks GOP’s ‘Hands Off Our Appliances’ Week
Under her threat to call up her motion to oust Speaker of the House Mike Johnson, U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) met with the Louisiana Republican for several hours on Monday, delivering her list of demands, while knowing that Democrats have vowed to ensure her efforts to have him removed will fail.
Congresswoman Greene, a far-right extremist and self-proclaimed Christian nationalist, tried to build a faction of disaffected House Republicans but only two other GOP lawmakers have signed on to her “motion to vacate.” One of them, Christian nationalist U.S. Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ) did not show for her Monday meeting.
At the top of Greene’s list of demands is ending all aid to Ukraine, according to Punchbowl News. The second item is defunding Special Counsel Jack Smith’s criminal investigations into Donald Trump. And lastly, promising to adhere to the so-called “Hastert Rule,” putting on the floor for a vote only legislation that is supported by the majority of the Republican majority.
“Of course, the Senate would never take this up, and President Joe Biden would never sign any such bill including this provision if it somehow landed on his desk. Senior House Republicans privately admit this,” Punchbowl News reports.
READ MORE: Judge Hands Trump ‘Incarceration’ Threat as Experts Say Next Time He’ll Toss Him in Jail
Calling these maneuvers “cosplay” and “mostly theater,” Punchbowl notes: “Greene doesn’t really see those political realities as hurdles — or care. She wants to cause legislative crises and get media coverage.”
Johnson has the support of Donald Trump, along with, for now, the support of House Democrats including Minority Leader Hakeem Jeffries.
Greene and her number two supporter, U.S. Rep. Tim Massie (R-KY), possibly with Congressman Gosar – whose support for Greene’s motion to vacate appears to be wavering – are expected to meet again with Speaker Johnson on Tuesday.
The Guardian reports some observers are “suggesting the Georgia congresswoman is looking for an off-ramp,” and adds that Greene’s “lunchtime summit” could “finally offer clarity” on whether she “still intends to press ahead with her drive to oust speaker Mike Johnson, or accept a face-saving alternative that would give the impression of a win.”
Gosar’s apparent wavering has not gone unnoticed.
Punchbowl News’ Mica Soellner reports: “Rep. Paul Gosar tells me he’s still very much behind the MTV [motion to vacate] effort and missed today’s meeting due to a flight delay.”
READ MORE: Trump Threatens to Violate Gag Order and Go to Jail: ‘I’ll Do That Sacrifice Any Day’
He told Soellner: “If Marjorie wanted me to come, I would’ve been there.”
She notes Gosar did not commit to attending Tuesday’s meeting.
Meanwhile, from the non-Greene side of the House Republican conference, Fox News’ Chad Pergram reports on comments made by U.S. Rep. Don Bacon (R-NE).
Citing his Fox News colleague Brianna O’Neil’s reporting, he writes (not direct quotes): “GOP NE Rep Bacon on Greene’s efforts to remove Johnson: We don’t like it. We’d be angry about it because all it does is weaken all of us. And it’s it’s like 2 or 3 people working for the other side of the aisle…it appears to us, you know, the other side shooting this also foot right now over all the campus stuff. Joe Biden’s polling at 36%, the lowest of any president going back to 1952. So why jump in the way of that? And we’ve got 2 or 3 people are doing that. And it’s just a tactical and strategically. It’s not smart.”
Last week, Congresswoman Greene held a news conference and vowed to call up her motion to vacate, “next week, absolutely.”
On Monday, Greene alleged a “deal” has been made between Johnson and Speaker Emerita Nancy Pelosi.
The entire Democrat Party is lining up behind Mike Johnson.
First, it was the entire leadership team for the Democrats.
Now, Nancy Pelosi, who impeached President Trump TWICE, has given Johnson her seal of approval.
What deal has been made?? pic.twitter.com/gqUpO9NDjU
— Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene🇺🇸 (@RepMTG) May 6, 2024
READ MORE: ‘I’m Not Talking About That Meeting’: Noem Implies She May Have Met With Kim Jong Un
Trump Threatens to Violate Gag Order and Go to Jail: ‘I’ll Do That Sacrifice Any Day’
Marjorie Taylor Greene Delivers Demands to Johnson as Her Three-Person Posse Weakens
Johnson Demands All Trump Prosecutions Cease, Vows to Use Congress ‘In Every Possible Way’
Trump Battled to Go to Son’s Graduation – So Why Is He Speaking at a Fundraiser That Day?
Trump Battled to Go to Son’s Graduation – So Why Is He Speaking at a Fundraiser That Day?
Johnson Demands All Trump Prosecutions Cease, Vows to Use Congress ‘In Every Possible Way’
Marjorie Taylor Greene Delivers Demands to Johnson as Her Three-Person Posse Weakens
Trump Threatens to Violate Gag Order and Go to Jail: ‘I’ll Do That Sacrifice Any Day’
‘Israel Aid, Ukraine Aid, Kitchenaid’: Dem Mocks GOP’s ‘Hands Off Our Appliances’ Week
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News1 day ago‘I’m Not Talking About That Meeting’: Noem Implies She May Have Met With Kim Jong Un
OPINION23 hours agoTrump Threatens to Violate Gag Order and Go to Jail: ‘I’ll Do That Sacrifice Any Day’
OPINION1 day ago‘Israel Aid, Ukraine Aid, Kitchenaid’: Dem Mocks GOP’s ‘Hands Off Our Appliances’ Week
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