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COMMANDER BONESPURS FAKES ANOTHER WAR

Trump Declares War on Non-Existent War on Thanksgiving

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President Donald Trump put on his Commander-in-Chief hat Tuesday night and declared war on the war on Thanksgiving. The only problem is, just like his top advisor Kellyanne Conway’s made up “Bowling Green Massacre” there is no war on Thanksgiving.

“As we gather together for Thanksgiving, you know, some people want to change the name ‘Thanksgiving,'” Trump told supporters at a fake “homecoming” rally in Florida Tuesday night. “They don’t want to use the term ‘Thanksgiving.’ And that was true also with Christmas. But now everybody’s using Christmas again. Remember this?”

“But now we’re going to have to do a little work on Thanksgiving,” Trump claimed. “People have different ideas. Why it shouldn’t be called Thanksgiving. But everybody in this room, I know, loves the name Thanksgiving. And we’re not changing.”

There was also no War on Christmas, and Trump did nothing to end it because it did not exist.

Fox News played along, reporting: “Trump vows not to change the name of Thanksgiving despite cries from the ‘radical left’.”

And some on Twitter played the president, uniting under the sarcastic hashtag #whatliberalscallthanksgiving. Take a look:

 

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