On Valentine’s Day, Monday, February 14th, Marriage Equality New York, GetEQUAL NY, the Metropolitan Community Church (MCCNY), Queer Rising, and many fellow New Yorkers will convene at the Manhattan Marriage Bureau, near City Hall in lower Manhattan, and stand beside a devoted couple, Rob Lassegue and Manuel Reyes, as they attempt to join the more than 1.2 million couples who have been joined in marriage there since 1930.
Justin Elzie talked with the couple Saturday afternoon and asked them to share why they decided to try get a marriage license here in New York City, and about the symbolic, spiritual wedding ceremony that will take place downtown on Monday morning.
Justin: So what is going to happen this Monday, guys?
Rob: Well, we are going to go into the marriage bureau here in New York City and apply for a marriage license, which sadly enough we expect to be denied. If we are denied, then we will go outside the marriage bureau and have a symbolic spiritual marriage ceremony performed out front by Reverend Pat with the Metropolitan Community Church here in New York City.
We will have a symbolic spiritual marriage ceremony because civil marriage is not available to us here in New York City. Civil marriage is what Marriage Equality New York (MENY) and other LGBT organizations are pushing for.
Justin: What made you guys decide to be the couple to get married Monday?
Rob: I was not going to get married until civil marriage became the law, but we decided to go ahead and take the baby steps to get the spiritual marriage while we wait for civil marriage here in New York.
Justin: How long did it take for you guys to decide?
Rob: Six text messages.
(Laughter)
Justin: But obviously you’ve discussed this before. How long ago?
Manuel: We discussed it back about a year and half ago.
Justin: Who proposed to whom?
Rob: I asked Manuel.
Justin: Did he say yes right away?
Rob: Yes.
Manuel: No, I told him I had to think about it and then I said yes.
(Laughter)
Justin: How long have you two been together?
Rob/Manuel: Seven years this past November.
Justin: How did you guys meet?
Rob: We met at a club on Long Island.
Justin: Was it love at first site?
Manuel: No, I made him work for it.
(Laughter)
Justin: Where are you guys from?
Rob: Long Island, New York.
Manuel: Mexico.
Justin: Rob, tell us a little bit about your work on marriage equality?
Rob: I started in 1999 as a volunteer for Marriage Equality New York (MENY). In 2000, I started a Long Island chapter for MENY and in 2003 I joined the MENY state board. In 2001 I organized the first Wedding Expo for LGBT couples in the state of New York, on Long Island.
Justin: Do you expect marriage equality to be passed in New York this year?
Rob: Having participated in the MENY Albany Marriage Lobbying day this past week, I am very confident that the marriage bill will be coming up again soon. Governor Andrew Cuomo told Senator Tom Duane that he should bring up the bill this year again.
Justin: Do you think there will be more votes this year?
Rob: I am thinking that from what we saw at the Albany Marriage Equality Lobbying day that due to the lobbying, I think that there is room to build relationships that could translate into votes. We cannot do this without Republicans.
Justin: So what is MENY doing to reach out to Republicans?
Rob: MENY is working with Gregory Angelo from the Log Cabin Republicans.
Justin: If marriage equality is passed in New York will you be getting a real church wedding?
Rob: Church wedding no, but definitely a civil marriage ceremony.
Justin: Why is getting married so important to you guys?
Manuel: I want to have the same publically recognized relationship with my partner that other people have with theirs.
Rob: The reason I got involved in pushing for marriage equality is because I don’t think that anyone should be excluded from civil marriage rights. Plus, I am a huge advocate for the separation of church and state.
Justin: Then why are you getting a spiritual symbolic wedding?
Rob: Because the message we are sending is that a lot of mainline clergy support same-sex marriage, actually nationwide one third do, according to recent polls. Not to mention, some Jewish Synagogues and some mainline Protestant churches, i.e., Episcopalian, Methodist and others, support same-sex marriage, but the state denies the civil marriage license.
Justin: What is one thing that you guys want readers to know when they read this interview?
Rob: We wanted to do this to bring more awareness. A lot of people don’t realize that we don’t get over 1,138 federal rights that heterosexual couples get and 1,324 rights and benefits at the state level here in New York. So in doing this wedding, we wanted to bring about more awareness on this issue.
Justin: Manuel, because you are new resident from Mexico here in New York, do you think that this will give you more stability here in the U.S. when the state finally comes around to recognizing your marriage? Is that part of why you wanted to do this?
Manuel: Yes. I told my sister in Mexico, and she has sent us congratulations. She wanted to be here to support me. I feel very happy and sad at the same time because the state will not give us the equal rights that come with civil marriage.
Justin: Thank you guys for sitting down with me and sharing why you guys are getting married. Congratulations and I hope that others will be educated and inspired by your example!
You are cordially invited to witness the marriage of Rob Lassegue and Manuel Reyes this Valentine’s Day, Monday February 14th, 8:00 AM at the Marriage Bureau of Lower Manhattan, 141 Worth Street, New York, NY. Please show your support for marriage equality in New York by joining the rally.
Justin Elzie is an actor and writer living in New York. He recently wrote and published a memoir titled, “Playing By the Rules,†which details his life as the first Marine to be discharged under “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell,” and the first Marine to serve openly-gay in the Marines. Here writes about environmental and civil rights issues.