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Queerica: Life after Obama and the Future of Straight Supremacy

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Chivas Sandage takes the readers of the New Civil Right Movement on a tour of an ascendantly queer America in 2013 post Barack Obama’s re-election

This is a guest post by Chivas Sandage, a new contributor to The New Civil Rights Movement.

My wife, daughter, and I were eating quesadillas while musing about future historians and how they’ll look back on the Republican Party’s opposition to our family structure when my teenager asked what superpower I’d choose if I could choose just one. I felt torn between going backward or forward in time, but later, as I drifted off to sleep, I wished to see the future and know just what President Obama’s second term and ultimate legacy will mean for my country—and family. As I fell into dream, I saw a tall, dark-cloaked figure whose face was concealed. A gaunt black hand emerged, pointing toward the bedroom window.

I recognized at once the Ghost of America Yet to Come. I looked into the window where that bony hand pointed.  In the morning, I woke from what felt like one hundred years of dreaming in a single night. Dear reader, I feel pressed to report what I saw come to pass.

With Obama’s reelection, the Defense of Marriage Act became known as the Defense of Straight Supremacy Act (DOSSA) and was quickly dumped. Liberals throughout the nation celebrated. Christian fundamentalist protestors filled the streets but then retreated as gay orgies bloomed in broad daylight on every street in America. Heterosexual couples immediately felt the effects of DOSSA’s collapse and their marriages began to disintegrate with the sheer force of erotic energy in the air and water supply. Closeted homosexuals left their marriages in droves. Many heterosexuals divorced because the institution was no longer “sacred” now that they had to check the same box on forms as their LGBTQQIA colleagues and neighbors, not to mention family members they’d shunned or disowned.

Obama made the landmark decision to come out of the closet and announced that both he and Michelle were gay. Like so many, theirs was a marriage of convenience. While Democrats were disappointed to see the first family separate, no one was surprised. Finally, there was a politically correct explanation for Barack’s ability to dance and Michelle’s biceps. Barack became the first gay single father President and Michelle the first lesbian First Lady. After their divorce, Michelle and the girls (and Bo) continued to live in the White House while Barack rented a studio apartment a short commute away. Michelle eventually remarried Rachel Maddow and the first daughters had two moms. Barack remarried Chris Rock (after he also came out) and the first daughters had two dads.

As each year passed, Obama’s legacy ensured that the homosexual agenda to take over the nation and then the world gained momentum. Homosexuals entered a new era of enjoying basic human civil rights while wielding maximum political power. By coincidence, the Senate and Congress were both 100 percent gay when the United States of America was renamed the United States of Queerica.

When Obama passed the baton, he once again made history. A fat activist, Islamic Fundamentalist, Cadillac-driving welfare recipient who was equal parts African-American, Cuban, Vietnamese, Jewish, Palestinian, Native-American, Italian, and Unknown Origin who identified as a stone butch LGBTQQIA single mother of four children (from four sperm donors) became President of the United States of Queerica.

With the election of President Quintasia Hussein Minh Castro Mussolini Laughing-Fox, Donna2there was a brief bubble of controversy when it was proven that President Laughing-Fox was not an American Citizen but born in an underground bunker in Abbottabad, Pakistan. After several sex scandals occupied the liberal media’s attention, the small matter of a citizenship requirement was quickly forgotten and a new age of gay supremacy strutted into existence. A mate to the Statue of Liberty was erected: Donna Summer holding a microphone above her head.

With the passage of DOMA II, heterosexual marriage became illegal in the USQ. Marriages of sixty years or sixty minutes were annulled, leaving couples and their families in legal limbo. Formerly known as “spouses,” these pairs of unrelated individuals were awkwardly referred to as “friends.” Domestic partnership status was not an option under DOMA II and “friends” were not eligible to share each other’s health insurance benefits, had to file taxes as “single” and no longer qualified for lower rates. A “friend” in the ER or hospital was rarely allowed visits from non-family members—even if seriously ill, injured, or dying. In the event of death, a mourning “friend” was not eligible for the other’s social security benefits and was forced to pay estate taxes on the home they shared.

The military—which only allowed butch lesbians to serve in close-combat units—re-instituted “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” further oppressing opposite-sex military families who were suddenly forced to hide their relationships on paper and at the water cooler, on the street and at the military ball. Maiden names were reclaimed and wedding rings slid off. Even the youngest children of straight parents were taught not to talk about their parents, and if forced, to avoid using gender specific terms.

In the good old USQ, a handful of stubborn southern states refused to abide by the federally enforced straight marriage ban and so National Guard troops were sent to ensure compliance. Riots erupted and confederate flags reproduced like rabbits in mixed crowds with non-violent, placard carrying catholic priests marching in solidarity with gun-carrying, pro-secession rednecks, conservative upper middle-class corporate sector professionals, the Trumpsters (merchant protesters paid by the nearly dead Donald), and Mormon missionaries leading the way. The National Guard used tear gas and rubber bullets to disperse the crowds. Interestingly enough, Catholic nuns didn’t protest; they were focused on promoting the spread of communism in Queerica, which had smoothly transitioned to socialism by the end of Obama’s reign in the newly christened Black House. Coincidentally, Spanish became Queerica’s official language when all forms of protest became illegal.

Gay supremacy reigned supreme. The plight of heterosexual people was of little concern to the majority of Queericans who considered straight issues a diversion from more important debates such as whether to sell crack in public school vending machines. Liberals always found a way to either trivialize or demonize straight issues. Gay supremacists claimed that angry, activist heterosexuals were a danger to society and unfit to work with children in any capacity. In fact, “heterosexual” quickly became synonymous with “pedophile.”

President Laughing-Fox refused to soften her stance against opposite-sex marriage. For many years, a few southern states allowed heterosexuals to have “Civil Unions” but this caused bitter disagreement across Queerica and created legal complications for these couples once they traveled across state lines. The media bombarded the public with slanted news stories, radio talk shows, and polls about whether straights should have marriage rights. Endless debates placed the personal lives and families of heterosexuals on public display 24/7. Those who voiced complaints were labeled as radicals.

Gay-PrideNYCOne by one, northern states passed laws making it illegal to have heterosexual intercourse, paving the way for a constitutional amendment that made in vitro fertilization the only way to procreate legally. “Friends” could be arrested if neighbors suspected they might be having heterosexual intercourse. Straights caught pursuing their sexual deviations were forced to participate in therapeutic cures. Straight bars became illegal but persisted in some red light districts in Mississippi. Youth who exhibited heterosexual characteristics were bullied in schools across the nation, especially northern states.

Heterosexuals worked hard to pass for gay—adopting new names, styles, gaits, and mannerisms. In order to compete for jobs, many attended “polishing” schools where even the most stubborn straight men could be turned into divas. Straight men also learned the art of negotiating unwanted attention from hard-muscled gay men who took a fancy to them, finding that ever-delicate balance between massaging the male ego by acting appreciative while  appearing not quite available yet to avoid inciting sexual harassment, rape, or other physical violence against themselves. Privileges that het men had always taken for granted—like walking down the street alone after dark—were no longer possible unless they had a stone butch bull dyke at their side when the low spark of high-heeled boys lit up the night.

The King Barack Bible traced humans back to the moment Ada and Eve took mutual responsibility for devouring a fig as part of an erotic pagan ritual. Moreover, every Disney princess fell in love with a drag queen or king. In time, it became common for an adult heterosexual to reach middle age or even go through an entire life without having ever kissed a person of the opposite sex.

At the end of the dream, I was watching a 4th of July parade on Main Street in Lubbock, Texas.  It could have been a New York City Pride parade from the early 21st century. There were marching bands with husky dykes carrying tubas and drums while the “girls” played their flutes. I gazed across the cheering, crowded streets filled with Queerican flag-waving comrades celebrating our new global role as ruler of The United Nations of Queerica. Most could not remember when straights had civil rights. In fact, most Queericans had never studied history—it was no longer taught in the schools. Instead, they studied Queerstory.

As always, the fags and a few token femmes stole the parade with their skimpy, gold-sequined leotards and shining batons. Yes, Lubbock was as Queerican as fig pie.

Images of the USA gay flag and gay pride ballon display, courtesy of photo bucket. Image of Donna Summer courtesy of Wikipedia.

Author picChivas Sandage is the author of Hidden Drive, a first book of poetry, recently published by Antrim House in August 2012. Her essays and poems are forthcoming or recently appeared in Drunken Boat, Evergreen Review, The Hartford Courant, Knockout Magazine, Naugatuck River Review, Paradise Found (Levellers Press, ’12), and Morning Song: Poems for New Parents (St. Martin’s Press, ’11). Her work has also appeared in the Artful Dodge, Hampshire Life Magazine, Ms. Magazine, Upstreet, Manthology: Poems on the Male Experience (Univ. of Iowa Press, ‘06), andSame-Sex Marriage: The Moral and Legal Debate (Prometheus Books, ‘04). She has taught at Westfield State University and earned an MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a BA from Bennington College. She lives in Connecticut with her wife and daughter. Her blog is http://www.csandage.com.

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‘They’re Coming After Our Children’: Watch Casey DeSantis’ Dystopian Fear-Mongering Ad

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The imagery is dark. The words are defiant. The message is dystopian. An ad for Republican Governor Ron DeSantis‘s presidential campaign, currently “in turmoil,” features the First Lady of Florida, Casey DeSantis, issuing a warning: “They’re coming after our children.”

The ad never quite says who is coming after the kids, but the video (below) includes clips of President Joe Biden and former Dr. Anthony Fauci, the face of the war on COVID and the now-retired Director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases.

While it was first released over the summer, it received little attention. Casey DeSantis on Friday reposted her “Mamas for DeSantis” ad. It comes in the wake of the alleged ménage à trois sex scandal involving an unnamed woman who has accused Christian Ziegler, the head of the Florida Republican Party of rape. His wife, Moms for Liberty co-founder Bridget Ziegler, who reportedly confirmed the consensual three-way sexual relationship, is Casey DeSantis’ “best friend,” according to Florida Politics publisher Peter Schorsch.

“In America, we’ve witnessed a lot and put up with enough,” Casey DeSantis says in a voiceover at the start of the two-and-a-half minute video.

“We’ve been forced into silence,” she charges, amid a baby crying and a COVID mask being put over a child’s face. “Into compliance.”

“Told that we must ‘trust the science,'” DeSantis continues, in a direct attack on Dr. Fauci, showing him speaking during the height of COVID in the Trump administration.

READ MORE: ‘Significant and Imminent Threat’: Trump Gag Order Largely Upheld by Appeals Court

And in an attack on LGBTQ children and adults, she says: “We’ve been told that we must deny truth. Back down. And look the other way.”

“Enough is enough. When you come after our kids, we fight back. Because there’s nothing we won’t do to protect our children,” she says.

Seconds later, the video shows President Joe Biden declaring, “Our nation’s children are all our children.”

“We will not allow you to exploit their innocence to advance your agenda. We are no longer silent,” Casey DeSantis declares. “We are united. We have finally found our fighter.”

Casey DeSantis praises her husband, saying he will do for America what he did for Florida: “Schools: opened. Parents’ rights: defended. School choice: universal. Critical race theory: prohibited. DEI: stopped. Child mutilation: illegal. Girls’ sports: saved. Communities: protected. Our economy: growing. And freedom: guaranteed.”

READ MORE: ‘Dystopian’: Potential Trump Cabinet Picks Send ‘5-Alarm’ Shock Waves of Terror

In the section where President Biden says, “Our nation’s children are all our children,” Casey DeSantis doesn’t explain that those words came from a White House celebration honoring Teachers of The Year from across the country. The President was praising an Oklahoma Teacher of the Year whose district includes students who speak 62 different languages, so she had to work hard to ensure everyone felt included. She had said, “There’s no such thing as someone else’s child.”

Nor did DeSantis acknowledge that Governor DeSantis’ performance for children has been poor.

The Florida Policy Institute, which says it is “an independent, non-partisan, and non-profit organization,” in September warned “368,728 youth aged 20 and younger” have been cut from Medicaid. “Because Florida has not expanded Medicaid, the vast majority of those losing insurance during this time have been children, parents, young adults, and new mothers.”

Florida ranks 35th in child well-being (with 1 being the best), according WUSF, citing the Kids Count Databook from the Annie E. Casey Foundation.

Some critics on social media blasted Casey DeSantis’ remarks.

“Republicans refused to extend child tax credits that pulled 2 million children out of poverty. They resist the idea of free school lunches. Yet they come up with bullshit about their opponents ‘coming after our children.’ Yes, we’re coming after them, to give them a sandwich,” wrote former Chicago Tribune editor Mark Jacob.

READ MORE: Jobs Report Forces Fox News to Admit Biden Economy ‘A Lot Stronger Than Anybody Understands’

Watch the Casey DeSantis video below or at this link.

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‘Significant and Imminent Threat’: Trump Gag Order Largely Upheld by Appeals Court

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A Washington, D.C. federal appeals court Friday afternoon largely upheld and reinstated U.S. District Judge Tanya Chutkan’s very narrow and limited gag order on Donald Trump for his trial on charges related to his alleged efforts to subvert the U.S. Constitution and overturn the results of the 2020 election.

“We agree with the district court that some aspects of Mr. Trump’s public statements pose a significant and imminent threat to the fair and orderly adjudication of the ongoing criminal proceeding, warranting a speech-constraining protective order,” reads Judge Patricia Millett unanimous three-judge panel ruling, posted by Lawfare’s Anna Bower. “The district court’s order, however, sweeps in more protected speech than is necessary. For that reason, we affirm the district court’s order in part and vacate it in part.”

The judges upheld the gag order “to the extent it prohibits all parties and their counsel from making or directing others to make public statements about known or reasonably foreseeable witnesses concerning their potential participation in the investigation or in this criminal proceeding.”

READ MORE: Jobs Report Forces Fox News to Admit Biden Economy ‘A Lot Stronger Than Anybody Understands’

They also upheld the gag order “to the extent it prohibits all parties and their counsel from making or directing others to make public statements about (1) counsel in the case other than the Special Counsel, (2) members of the court’s staff and counsel’s staffs, or (3) the family members of any counsel or staff member—if those statements are made with the intent to materially interfere with, or to cause others to materially interfere with, counsel’s or staff’s work in this criminal case, or with the knowledge that such interference is highly likely to result.”

The judges removed from the gag order “speech beyond those specified categories.”

“We do not allow such an order lightly,” the judges added. “But Mr. Trump is also an indicted criminal defendant, and he must stand trial in a courtroom under the same procedures that govern all other criminal defendants.”

Bower explains, “Chutkan’s order would have prohibited statements that refer to special counsel Jack Smith as a ‘thug’ or ‘deranged.’ But the appeals court order does not apply to speech about the special counsel himself.”

CBS News congressional correspondent Scott MacFarlane sums up the ruling: “Much of the gag order in Donald Trump’s 2020 election conspiracy criminal case in DC is *REINSTATED*.”

READ MORE: Peter Doocy Admits No ‘Concrete Evidence Joe Biden Personally Profited’ From Hunter’s Business

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Peter Doocy Admits No ‘Concrete Evidence Joe Biden Personally Profited’ From Hunter’s Business

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In a report focused on House Republicans’ plan to vote on a resolution to open an official impeachment inquiry of President Joe Biden, Fox News White House correspondent Peter Doocy told viewers there is no evidence of impeachable offenses.

“The House Oversight Committee has been at this for years, and they have so far not been able to provide any concrete evidence that Joe Biden personally profited from his son Hunter’s overseas business but they are going to try again with this impeachment inquiry set to start next week,” Doocy, who often criticizes President Biden in White House press briefings, said Friday on Fox News Business.

Other news outlets this week have also stressed Republicans have come up empty-handed.

The right-leaning news outlet The Hill, reporting on the resolution Thursday, noted Republicans’ current investigation “has struggled to connect President Biden to the activities of his son, and they’ve failed to prove their most salacious allegation — and the one that would be most key for impeachment: that the president accepted a bribe.”

READ MORE: Jobs Report Forces Fox News to Admit Biden Economy ‘A Lot Stronger Than Anybody Understands’

One of the main pillars of Republicans’ allegations against President Biden, the “narrative that President Biden pushed Ukraine to fire its prosecutor to help his son, who served on the board of Ukrainian energy company Burimsa, has largely been refuted,” The Hill also reported.

“Republicans have engaged in wide-ranging inquiry into Mr. Biden for months,” The New York Times reported Tuesday, “hunting for evidence to back up their allegations that he corruptly profited from his family members’ overseas business dealings and accepted bribes. To date, they have failed to deliver compelling evidence to back up their boldest claims.”

Watch Doocy below or at this link.

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