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Queerica: Life after Obama and the Future of Straight Supremacy

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Chivas Sandage takes the readers of the New Civil Right Movement on a tour of an ascendantly queer America in 2013 post Barack Obama’s re-election

This is a guest post by Chivas Sandage, a new contributor to The New Civil Rights Movement.

My wife, daughter, and I were eating quesadillas while musing about future historians and how they’ll look back on the Republican Party’s opposition to our family structure when my teenager asked what superpower I’d choose if I could choose just one. I felt torn between going backward or forward in time, but later, as I drifted off to sleep, I wished to see the future and know just what President Obama’s second term and ultimate legacy will mean for my country—and family. As I fell into dream, I saw a tall, dark-cloaked figure whose face was concealed. A gaunt black hand emerged, pointing toward the bedroom window.

I recognized at once the Ghost of America Yet to Come. I looked into the window where that bony hand pointed.  In the morning, I woke from what felt like one hundred years of dreaming in a single night. Dear reader, I feel pressed to report what I saw come to pass.

With Obama’s reelection, the Defense of Marriage Act became known as the Defense of Straight Supremacy Act (DOSSA) and was quickly dumped. Liberals throughout the nation celebrated. Christian fundamentalist protestors filled the streets but then retreated as gay orgies bloomed in broad daylight on every street in America. Heterosexual couples immediately felt the effects of DOSSA’s collapse and their marriages began to disintegrate with the sheer force of erotic energy in the air and water supply. Closeted homosexuals left their marriages in droves. Many heterosexuals divorced because the institution was no longer “sacred” now that they had to check the same box on forms as their LGBTQQIA colleagues and neighbors, not to mention family members they’d shunned or disowned.

Obama made the landmark decision to come out of the closet and announced that both he and Michelle were gay. Like so many, theirs was a marriage of convenience. While Democrats were disappointed to see the first family separate, no one was surprised. Finally, there was a politically correct explanation for Barack’s ability to dance and Michelle’s biceps. Barack became the first gay single father President and Michelle the first lesbian First Lady. After their divorce, Michelle and the girls (and Bo) continued to live in the White House while Barack rented a studio apartment a short commute away. Michelle eventually remarried Rachel Maddow and the first daughters had two moms. Barack remarried Chris Rock (after he also came out) and the first daughters had two dads.

As each year passed, Obama’s legacy ensured that the homosexual agenda to take over the nation and then the world gained momentum. Homosexuals entered a new era of enjoying basic human civil rights while wielding maximum political power. By coincidence, the Senate and Congress were both 100 percent gay when the United States of America was renamed the United States of Queerica.

When Obama passed the baton, he once again made history. A fat activist, Islamic Fundamentalist, Cadillac-driving welfare recipient who was equal parts African-American, Cuban, Vietnamese, Jewish, Palestinian, Native-American, Italian, and Unknown Origin who identified as a stone butch LGBTQQIA single mother of four children (from four sperm donors) became President of the United States of Queerica.

With the election of President Quintasia Hussein Minh Castro Mussolini Laughing-Fox, Donna2there was a brief bubble of controversy when it was proven that President Laughing-Fox was not an American Citizen but born in an underground bunker in Abbottabad, Pakistan. After several sex scandals occupied the liberal media’s attention, the small matter of a citizenship requirement was quickly forgotten and a new age of gay supremacy strutted into existence. A mate to the Statue of Liberty was erected: Donna Summer holding a microphone above her head.

With the passage of DOMA II, heterosexual marriage became illegal in the USQ. Marriages of sixty years or sixty minutes were annulled, leaving couples and their families in legal limbo. Formerly known as “spouses,” these pairs of unrelated individuals were awkwardly referred to as “friends.” Domestic partnership status was not an option under DOMA II and “friends” were not eligible to share each other’s health insurance benefits, had to file taxes as “single” and no longer qualified for lower rates. A “friend” in the ER or hospital was rarely allowed visits from non-family members—even if seriously ill, injured, or dying. In the event of death, a mourning “friend” was not eligible for the other’s social security benefits and was forced to pay estate taxes on the home they shared.

The military—which only allowed butch lesbians to serve in close-combat units—re-instituted “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell,” further oppressing opposite-sex military families who were suddenly forced to hide their relationships on paper and at the water cooler, on the street and at the military ball. Maiden names were reclaimed and wedding rings slid off. Even the youngest children of straight parents were taught not to talk about their parents, and if forced, to avoid using gender specific terms.

In the good old USQ, a handful of stubborn southern states refused to abide by the federally enforced straight marriage ban and so National Guard troops were sent to ensure compliance. Riots erupted and confederate flags reproduced like rabbits in mixed crowds with non-violent, placard carrying catholic priests marching in solidarity with gun-carrying, pro-secession rednecks, conservative upper middle-class corporate sector professionals, the Trumpsters (merchant protesters paid by the nearly dead Donald), and Mormon missionaries leading the way. The National Guard used tear gas and rubber bullets to disperse the crowds. Interestingly enough, Catholic nuns didn’t protest; they were focused on promoting the spread of communism in Queerica, which had smoothly transitioned to socialism by the end of Obama’s reign in the newly christened Black House. Coincidentally, Spanish became Queerica’s official language when all forms of protest became illegal.

Gay supremacy reigned supreme. The plight of heterosexual people was of little concern to the majority of Queericans who considered straight issues a diversion from more important debates such as whether to sell crack in public school vending machines. Liberals always found a way to either trivialize or demonize straight issues. Gay supremacists claimed that angry, activist heterosexuals were a danger to society and unfit to work with children in any capacity. In fact, “heterosexual” quickly became synonymous with “pedophile.”

President Laughing-Fox refused to soften her stance against opposite-sex marriage. For many years, a few southern states allowed heterosexuals to have “Civil Unions” but this caused bitter disagreement across Queerica and created legal complications for these couples once they traveled across state lines. The media bombarded the public with slanted news stories, radio talk shows, and polls about whether straights should have marriage rights. Endless debates placed the personal lives and families of heterosexuals on public display 24/7. Those who voiced complaints were labeled as radicals.

Gay-PrideNYCOne by one, northern states passed laws making it illegal to have heterosexual intercourse, paving the way for a constitutional amendment that made in vitro fertilization the only way to procreate legally. “Friends” could be arrested if neighbors suspected they might be having heterosexual intercourse. Straights caught pursuing their sexual deviations were forced to participate in therapeutic cures. Straight bars became illegal but persisted in some red light districts in Mississippi. Youth who exhibited heterosexual characteristics were bullied in schools across the nation, especially northern states.

Heterosexuals worked hard to pass for gay—adopting new names, styles, gaits, and mannerisms. In order to compete for jobs, many attended “polishing” schools where even the most stubborn straight men could be turned into divas. Straight men also learned the art of negotiating unwanted attention from hard-muscled gay men who took a fancy to them, finding that ever-delicate balance between massaging the male ego by acting appreciative while  appearing not quite available yet to avoid inciting sexual harassment, rape, or other physical violence against themselves. Privileges that het men had always taken for granted—like walking down the street alone after dark—were no longer possible unless they had a stone butch bull dyke at their side when the low spark of high-heeled boys lit up the night.

The King Barack Bible traced humans back to the moment Ada and Eve took mutual responsibility for devouring a fig as part of an erotic pagan ritual. Moreover, every Disney princess fell in love with a drag queen or king. In time, it became common for an adult heterosexual to reach middle age or even go through an entire life without having ever kissed a person of the opposite sex.

At the end of the dream, I was watching a 4th of July parade on Main Street in Lubbock, Texas.  It could have been a New York City Pride parade from the early 21st century. There were marching bands with husky dykes carrying tubas and drums while the “girls” played their flutes. I gazed across the cheering, crowded streets filled with Queerican flag-waving comrades celebrating our new global role as ruler of The United Nations of Queerica. Most could not remember when straights had civil rights. In fact, most Queericans had never studied history—it was no longer taught in the schools. Instead, they studied Queerstory.

As always, the fags and a few token femmes stole the parade with their skimpy, gold-sequined leotards and shining batons. Yes, Lubbock was as Queerican as fig pie.

Images of the USA gay flag and gay pride ballon display, courtesy of photo bucket. Image of Donna Summer courtesy of Wikipedia.

Author picChivas Sandage is the author of Hidden Drive, a first book of poetry, recently published by Antrim House in August 2012. Her essays and poems are forthcoming or recently appeared in Drunken Boat, Evergreen Review, The Hartford Courant, Knockout Magazine, Naugatuck River Review, Paradise Found (Levellers Press, ’12), and Morning Song: Poems for New Parents (St. Martin’s Press, ’11). Her work has also appeared in the Artful Dodge, Hampshire Life Magazine, Ms. Magazine, Upstreet, Manthology: Poems on the Male Experience (Univ. of Iowa Press, ‘06), andSame-Sex Marriage: The Moral and Legal Debate (Prometheus Books, ‘04). She has taught at Westfield State University and earned an MFA in Writing from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a BA from Bennington College. She lives in Connecticut with her wife and daughter. Her blog is http://www.csandage.com.

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IMPEACH HIM AGAIN

Rep. Al Green Files Impeachment Article Against Trump Over Iran: ‘Threat to Democracy’

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Tuesday morning, Rep. Al Green (D-TX) filed an article of impeachment against President Donald Trump over the United States’ strike on three sites in Iran this weekend.

Green’s article of impeachment alleges that Trump violated Article I, Section 8, Clause 11 of the Constitution. That section says only Congress can declare war.

“In starting his illegal and unconstitutional war with Iran without the constitutionally-mandated consent of Congress or appropriate notice to Congress, President Trump acted in direct violation of the War Powers Clause of the Constitution. President Trump has devolved and continues to devolve American democracy into authoritarianism by disregarding the separation of powers and now, usurping congressional war powers,” Green wrote.

READ MORE: Just 100 Days in and Trump White House Is Already Prepping for Impeachment: Report

Though the meat of the impeachment article is about Iran, Green also calls out other objectionable things done by Trump.

“President Trump’s unilateral, unprovoked use of force without congressional authorization or notice constitutes an abuse of power when there was no imminent threat to the United States, which facilitates the devolution of American democracy into authoritarianism, with an authoritarian president who has instigated an attack on the United States Capitol, denied persons due process of the law, and called for the impeachment of federal judges who ruled against him—making Donald J. Trump a threat to American democracy,” he said.

Green’s article of impeachment is unlikely to go anywhere. The House is controlled 220-212 by the Republican party. Even though some House Republicans like Thomas Massie (R-WV) and Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) have criticized Trump’s action in Iran, even if every Democrat voted in favor of impeachment, it would be a tall order for nine Republicans to flip. An article of impeachment only needs a simple majority in the House before going to the Senate.

Trump is the only president to be successfully impeached twice. However, he has never been convicted.

Though Trump did not have Congressional approval to order the U.S. to attack Iran—and, according to Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth, they were only informed afterward—the Constitution isn’t as clear as it might sound. The last time Congress declared war was in 1942, but there have been many wars since then, but by different names; the Korean War was officially a “police action.”

The president is officially Commander-in-Chief of the United States Military, and as such, can order a response to attacks, or other limited military actions without the approval of Congress. During the Vietnam War (another “police action”), President Richard Nixon ordered the secret bombings of Cambodia without informing Congress. Once this was revealed, Congress passed the War Powers Resolution, which puts limits on what the president can do without Congressional approval.

Under the War Powers Resolution, a president can order a military action, but must inform Congress within 48 hours. Armed forces cannot stay in an area for over 60 days, though they can have a window of an additional 30 days to withdraw.

Trump has been accused of violating the War Powers Resolution twice before. The first was in 2017, when Trump ordered a missile strike in Syria over allegations the country had used chemical weapons. Next was in 2020 when the U.S. killed Iranian General Qasem Soleimani in a drone strike. Neither of these accusations, however, resulted in anything.

Image via Reuters

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CRIME

DOJ Sues Washington State Over Law Requiring Catholic Priests to Report Child Abuse

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The Department of Justice has filed suit against Washington state over a new law requiring Catholic priests to report child abuse even if knowledge of the abuse was obtained during confession.

The law, Senate Bill 5375, was signed by Democratic Gov. Bob Ferguson on May 2, and would go into effect on July 27. The bill makes clergy mandatory reporters of child abuse and neglect, much like doctors and teachers. Catholic bishops in Washington have condemned the law because it does not address the sacred rite of confession.

Under the law, if abuse is revealed during confession, the priest must report it to police or the state’s Department of Children, Youth and Families. However, in the Catholic faith, the Seal of Confession directs priests to keep anything they learn during confession secret—even under the threat of imprisonment or death. Should a priest fail to do so, they would be excommunicated.

“I want to assure you that your shepherds, bishop and priests, are committed to keeping the seal of confession – even to the point of going to jail. The Sacrament of Penance is sacred,” Bishop Thomas A. Daly of the Spokane, Washington diocese wrote in a statement.

READ MORE: Pedophile Priest Sex Abuse: Catholic Churches Settle For $102 Million

A previous version of the bill did include a provision protecting priests from revealing anything learned during confession. Catholic bishops and Republicans in the state senate argued for the provision, but it was ultimately removed. All Republicans voted against the final version of the bill, along with two Democrats; it passed 28-20. Though the law requires priests to report abuse, it does not compel them to testify in court.

In response, a number of bishops filed a lawsuit, Etienne v. Ferguson, to stop the law. On June 16, a group of Orthodox churches in Washington state filed a similar lawsuit.

Gov. Ferguson, a Catholic, said he was dismayed by the suit.

“I’m disappointed my Church is filing a federal lawsuit to protect individuals who abuse kids,” Ferguson said.

The Department of Justice joined the fray on Monday. The DOJ called the law “anti-Catholic,” saying it violates the First Amendment. Monday’s suit is a motion to intervene in Etienne v. Ferguson.

“Senate Bill 5375 unconstitutionally forces Catholic priests in Washington to choose between their obligations to the Catholic Church and their penitents or face criminal consequences, while treating the priest-penitent privilege differently than other well-settled privileges. The Justice Department will not sit idly by when States mount attacks on the free exercise of religion,” Assistant Attorney General Harmeet K. Dhillon said in a statement.

Senate Bill 5375 is the third time the Washington senate was asked to make clergy mandatory reporters. The bill’s prime sponsor was Sen. Noel Frame (D-Seattle), who told KING-TV she brought the newest version before the Senate after hearing that three different Catholic archdioceses in the state were under investigation over allegations of covering up abuse.

“Quite frankly, that made it hard for me to stomach any argument about religious freedom being more important than preventing the abuse, including the sexual abuse of children,” Frame said in January. “I really wonder about all the children who have been abused and neglected and have gone unprotected by the adults in their lives because we didn’t have a mandated reporter law and that we continue to try to protect this in the name of religious freedom.”

Image via Shutterstock

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'VERY COOL VERY NORMAL'

FTC Blocks Advertising Company From Boycotting Media Outlets Based on Political Views

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The Federal Trade Commission announced a strange condition of the merger between two giant advertising companies. The FTC allowed the merger, but blocked the new company from being able to boycott media outlets based on political viewpoints.

The FTC announced Monday that Omnicom Group would be able to go ahead with its $13.5 billion purchase of The Interpublic Group of Companies. The merger faced antitrust concerns as the two companies are major players in the advertising industry. Currently, Omnicom is the third-largest ad agency in the United States, and IPG is fourth-largest.

Assuming the acquisition continues as planned, the enlarged Omnicom would be blocked from “engaging in collusion or coordination to direct advertising away from media publishers based on the publishers’ political or ideological viewpoints,” the FTC said.

READ MORE: Right Wing Lobbying Organization Pushing States to Shield Companies From Political Boycotts

“Websites and other publications that rely on advertising are critical to the flow of our nation’s commerce and communication,” Daniel Guarnera, Director of the FTC’s Bureau of Competition, said. “Coordination among advertising agencies to suppress advertising spending on publications with disfavored political or ideological viewpoints threatens to distort not only competition between ad agencies, but also public discussion and debate. The FTC’s action today prevents unlawful coordination that targets specific political or ideological viewpoints while preserving individual advertisers’ ability to choose where their ads are placed.”

The new rule comes after Elon Musk, the owner of the social media platform X, formerly Twitter, complained that advertisers were boycotting the platform. Last August, X filed an antitrust lawsuit against the Global Alliance for Responsible Media, a coalition of advertisers, for boycotting X following Musk’s purchase of the company. Founding members of GARM include both Omnicom and IPG.

GARM was originally formed in response to the mass shooting in a Christchurch, New Zealand mosque by a white supremacist. The shooting was livestreamed on Facebook, and as such, advertisements appeared on the platform alongside the livestream. GARM aimed to block members’ advertisements from appearing on platforms that didn’t have safeguards prohibiting what the organization called “illegal or harmful content, such as promoting terrorism or child pornography.”

Days after the X lawsuit, GARM disbanded.

“GARM has disbanded under a cloud of litigation and congressional investigation. The Commission has not been a party to those actions, and I take no position on any possible violation of the antitrust laws by GARM. The factual allegations, however, if true, paint a troubling picture of a history of coordination—that the group sought to marshal its members into collective boycotts to destroy publishers of content of which they disapproved,” FTC Chairman Andrew N. Ferguson said Monday.

“GARM was neither the beginning nor the end of harmful and potentially unlawful collusion in this industry. Numerous other industry groups and private organizations have publicly sought to use the chokepoint of the advertising industry to effect political or ideological goals. Clandestine pressure campaigns and private dealings among these parties are less well documented but pose the serious risk of harm and illegality,” he added.

The proviso to the Omnicom merger is not the FTC’s only foray into this issue. This May, the FTC opened an investigation to determine whether or not advertisers coming together in agreement to not buy ads on certain websites due to political content constituted an illegal boycott, according to the New York Times.

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