Homophobia At Home In Connecticut
National debates on whether gays should indeed have civil rights—and if so, which ones—continue to inspire threads of passionate comments at a wide variety of online media sources from The New York Times to my local Patch.com blog. While I’m usually bored, amused or numb (or some combination of the three) when reading the more homophobic comments by the national community, similarly prejudiced comments from folks in the local community have, in rare moments, left me stunned and staring at my computer screen. The other day, I was embarrassed to realize I had fat tears racing away from my eyes.
Sometimes I comment, other times I don’t. Today, I’d like to share the response that won’t fit into a comment box. I fully support freedom of speech but please remember that while you’re at home typing away on your computer, you might as well be standing in a large circle of locals at the farmers’ market or town hall or outside your favorite café or restaurant while talking about “these people.†You’re talking about me, my wife, and my family.
We’re your neighbors. We’re standing here, right next to you, and you’re looking in our eyes as you talk about “those homosexuals.â€
That’s exactly how close it feels as I read another “unscientific poll†posted at Patch.com by local journalist Susan Schoenberger essentially asking my neighbors what rights they think we should or shouldn’t have. Out of professional respect, I wrote a private letter to Schoenberger back in May and asked her to consider another perspective regarding a poll asking for comments about Obama’s evolving views on same-sex marriage. She didn’t respond. Perhaps she didn’t receive my message? I sent another but still no response.
Obviously, Schoenberger’s never experienced what it’s like to see a poll in a public forum asking the community whether her marriage to her husband should be recognized by the federal government or whether her husband should be allowed to be a scout leader or her son a scout because of their sexual orientations.
And local journalist Ronald DeRosa has surely never had his personal life be the subject of polls such as his equally disturbing posts titled “Should Gay People Be Afforded the Same Federal Rights in Marriage?“ and “Do You Care About a Private Group’s Stance on Issues Such as Gay Rights?“ and “Should Schools Police Kids’ T-Shirt Slogans?“ illustrated by a photo of an anti-gay t-shirt worn by a Connecticut teen.
Regardless of whatever DeRosa and Schoenberger’s best intentions or personal politics may be, this sort of “community journalism†creates a very different discussion and environment than this morning’s poll regarding the U.S. Postal Service cutting Saturday deliveries.
My marriage and family is the topic that’s been proposed once again for discussion—clothed this time in the Boy Scouts of America issue. Might this have something to do with the advertisers who pay salaries and Patch.com editors’ eagerness to please AOL?
I simply ask local journalists and community members to consider the fact that gay people are probably standing in your circle outside the coffee shop. Like you, our hands are in our pockets on a cold day. And we hear, unfortunately, all you have to say about us.
Each and every comment that acknowledges our right to civil rights is profoundly appreciated. But the homophobic comments from neighbors—even if they’re in the minority, even if there’s just a couple—can be unsettling at best and heartbreaking at worst.
Surprised I was surprised, I began tweeting a series of quotes as I read comments from several polls:
Overheard in CT: I guess the homosexuals and pedophiles need somewhere to go. […] Why can’t they just form their own clubs?
Overheard in CT: most gay men do not believe in…”sexually faithful” relationships, so their arguments for “gay marriage” are specious at best
Overheard in CT: gay choice is based in a deep need to compensate for a severe lack of essential nurture…or a severe destruction of psyche
Overheard in CT: I find it amazing that homosexual behavior, which used to bring a chorus of “Ewwwws” 50 years ago, because we knew…(cont)
Overheard (cont)“…we knew it was unnatural and aberrent, now must be thought of with the same warm fuzzies as for heterosexual couples.â€
Overheard in CT: We think we are enlightened, but actually our minds are being slowly boiled in the ever warming caldron of the PC-ers,
Overheard in CT: If the homosexuals come in, I would expect many parents to pull their sons out. I know I would do so.
Overheard in CT: Why not have Gay Boy Scouts of America and Lesbian Girl Scouts of America…
Overheard (cont): If they have any doubt they should be supported in being heterosexual…
Overheard in CT: The policy just says you can’t be “open” about the gay thing.
Overheard in CT: Attacks are expected when a study challenges the strident advocates of same-sex parenting.
Overheard in CT: Bravo, BSA and Chick Fil-A
Overheard in CT: I don’t give to the united way because they support gay parades and such.
Overheard in CT: I’ll be taking my scout to chick fil a …for a sandwich. That’s after I send a big check to the local scouts.
Overheard in CT: “Try joining the NAACP or any womans group if you want to know real discrimination”
Overheard in CT: “Its a real simple concept, start your own gay troop instead of forcing your beliefs on others who do not agree with you.”
Overheard in Ct: Boy scouting has has largely enjoyed the blessing of God for all its years. Let’s just not mess with success.
Overheard in CT: It’s a shame these people keep getting away with wreaking havoc on so many great institutions.
Reading these quotes now, I again feel numb. But there are moments when it feels like we’re living some sort of contemporary, virtual version of Shirley Jackson’s short story, “The Lottery†(set in another small town I lived in). Meanwhile, we’re also paying taxes that benefit our community, voting on issues that affect our community, sending our child to the local school, in line behind you as you order a sandwich, holding the door for you as you enter the post office, and reading the same papers and local blog.
“We†are part of “you.†So, as you exercise your freedom of speech, please consider addressing us and these very personal issues with the same respect you’d hopefully employ if speaking to our faces—the same respect you’d want if your sexuality and family and civil rights were being openly debated in most every public forum, everywhere you look.
And this issue is not “moot until May†as one commenter said. My wife and I will be living this issue every day for the rest of our lives.
Chivas Sandage’s first book of poems, Hidden Drive (Antrim House, 2012), places Ada with Eve in Eden and explores same-sex marriage and divorce. Her essays and poems on gay marriage have appeared in Ms. Magazine,The Naugatuck River Review, Upstreet, Same-Sex Marriage: The Moral and Legal Debate (Prometheus Books, ‘04) and are forthcoming in Knockout Magazine. Her work has also appeared in Artful Dodge, Drunken Boat, Evergreen Review, Hampshire Life Magazine, The Hartford Courant, Manthology: Poems on the Male Experience (Univ. of Iowa Press, 2006) and Morning Song: Poems for New Parents (St. Martin’s Press, 2011). Sandage holds an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a BA from Bennington College. She lives in Connecticut with her wife and daughter and blogs at csandage.com.
Image, top, courtesy ACLU
Enjoy this piece?
… then let us make a small request. The New Civil Rights Movement depends on readers like you to meet our ongoing expenses and continue producing quality progressive journalism. Three Silicon Valley giants consume 70 percent of all online advertising dollars, so we need your help to continue doing what we do.
NCRM is independent. You won’t find mainstream media bias here. From unflinching coverage of religious extremism, to spotlighting efforts to roll back our rights, NCRM continues to speak truth to power. America needs independent voices like NCRM to be sure no one is forgotten.
Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure NCRM remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to NCRM, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.
 |
Maine Democratic U.S. Senate nominee Graham Platner is under fire after releasing a video declaring that new allegations against him are false, yet he is “taking time to reflect” on a path forward.
Politico on Monday afternoon reported that a woman who dated Platner, Jenny Racicot, “says he forced her to have sex with him nearly five years ago despite her repeated objections, an allegation Platner denies.”
“Racicot said she had an on-and-off relationship with Platner,” Politico reported, “for more than two years before he entered her rural Maine home uninvited one night in late 2021, deeply intoxicated, and forced himself on her while she repeatedly told him to stop. She said she cut off contact with him after telling him the encounter was not consensual.”
In a video posted to social media eleven minutes after the Politico story dropped, Platner says, “I wanted to directly address the troubling, serious, and false allegations against me. Any accusation of nonconsensual behavior is categorically false.”
He said he and his supporters “were united in a love of Maine, a belief that our politics must change, in a focus on defeating Susan Collins.”
“So, regardless of the inaccuracy of the reporting, but mindful the political reality will inflict, we are taking the time to reflect on the best path forward for the state that I love, the people that I love, the movement I belong to, and the goal of defeating Susan Collins.”
“Those were the goals when we launched this campaign. And they remain my goals today.”
“Throughout it all, you never turned your back on me. And I will not turn my back on you now. Every one of you deserves to see that vision come to fruition and see Susan Collins defeated. And we will use every tool at our disposal to do so.”
The Bulwark’s Tim Miller, a political commentator who served as the communications director for the Jeb Bush 2016 presidential campaign, blasted Platner.
“I’m sorry but ‘we are taking time to reflect on the best path forward’ is not an option on the table,” Miller wrote. “Either it’s false and you campaign with vigor or it’s true and you get out / apologize to everyone you let down.”
Journalist Ryan Grim, commenting on Platner’s video, noted that Platner “strongly suggests he is considering dropping out. Already Troy Jackson and Chellie Pingree, both gubernatorial candidates, are being kicked around in Maine circles as potential replacements.”
Several others, including Puck News’ Peter Hamby, predicted Platner will be dropping out.
Platner had postponed several campaign events before the Politico story was published.
— Graham Platner for Senate (@grahamformaine) July 6, 2026
President Donald Trump is facing backlash after posting a video of children — including showing their unblurred faces — graduating from kindergarten, with some of the girls purportedly wearing hijabs.
“President Trump posted a captionless video of graduating kindergarteners on Truth Social on Monday, goading his supporters into verbally attacking little children simply for being Muslim,” The New Republic reported. “The clip is from Gateway STEM Academy, a majority-Black K-8 public charter school in St. Paul, Minnesota. It shows about 21 children in caps and gowns on stage singing a song together. Most of the girls are wearing hijabs.”
The original post of the video which Trump reposted reads: “Public school in St. Paul, Minnesota. Every girl is in a hijab … in kindergarten.”
Trump did not add any comments. TNR called the post “Islamophobic, weird, and creepy,” while noting that the comments section of Trump’s post was filled with calls “by racist, xenophobic MAGA supporters” to “deport the children and ban hijabs.”
TNR also noted that it “should come as no surprise that Trump isn’t above attacking children who just learned how to read, but this post is still particularly discomforting—and will certainly contribute to the already potent level of anti-Muslim sentiment in the U.S. and in Minnesota.”
Critics blasted Trump.
“There is something deeply unsettling about the president of the United States—the most powerful person in the world—going after kindergarten schoolchildren in Minnesota because they wore hijabs, as Trump has done this morning on his website,” The Bulwark’s Sam Stein wrote.
One social media commentator wrote, “Trump posted an unblurred video of more than a dozen Muslim kindergartners to Truth Social, exposing the children’s faces while targeting them for their religion.”
Another added, “Trump is a bigot. The president took to Truth Social to attack kindergarteners in hijabs. These are little kids. The president isn’t just a bigot, he’s also a coward.”
The original video was posted to the X social media platform in June.
U.S. Rep. Nancy Mace (R-SC) at the time commented, “If you are in a public school in America, you should be speaking english.”
Image via Reuters
President Donald Trump’s apparent efforts to delay releasing the $5.8 million civil judgment to E. Jean Carroll are being met with a warning by the journalist’s legal team, who suggest there could be a legal maneuver for Trump to employ to forgo paying the judgment in either of the two cases he lost.
According to The Guardian, on July 4, U.S. District Judge Lewis Kaplan ordered Trump to release the $5.8 million judgment, which is in escrow, to Carroll by this coming Tuesday — or explain why he would not do so.
Carroll’s attorneys think Trump may be trying to buy time to mount another legal strategy, telling the judge that Trump’s request for an extension “appears to be little more than yet another play for time.”
“The case is separate from Trump’s appeal of a Manhattan civil jury’s 2024 award of $83.3m to Carroll for defamation,” The Guardian explains. “But her lawyers have suggested a legal scenario in which the president might seek to conjoin the cases and further delay payment of both.”
Carroll’s attorney Roberta Kaplan (no relation to the judge) wrote, “We can only assume that defendant is seeking … to buy time so he can try to concoct some new basis to put off paying plaintiff presumably in connection with his forthcoming petition and motion for a rehearing.”
Trump’s former attorney, Justin Smith, in one of his final acts, wrote to the Supreme Court suggesting that his client would be appealing the $83.3 million civil judgment.
Smith argued that the Supreme Court “may wish to consider the petitions together,” given they involve the same parties.
The larger judgment case involves possible questions of presidential immunity, and that has Carroll’s attorneys concerned.
“A conjoined case, Carroll’s lawyers fear, could result in both judgments being wiped out,” The Guardian reports.
The president has also made clear he is no fan of Judge Kaplan, after the jurist made several rulings that “angered” Trump.
“What else can you expect from a Trump Hating, Clinton appointed judge, who went out of his way to make sure that the result was as negative as it could possible be,” Trump wrote on Truth Social in 2023, “speaking to, and in control of, a jury from an anti-Trump area which is probably the worst place in the US for me to get a fair ‘trial’.”
Image via Reuters
Platner Scorched Over ‘Taking Time’ Video After New Accusation
Trump Sparks Fury Online After Posting Unblurred Video of Muslim Kindergartners in Hijabs
One Legal Maneuver Threatens to Undo Everything E. Jean Carroll Won
Inside the Group Helping MAGA Voters Walk Away — And What Finally Pushed Them
