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Homophobia At Home In Connecticut

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National debates on whether gays should indeed have civil rights—and if so, which ones—continue to inspire threads of passionate comments at a wide variety of online media sources from The New York Times to my local Patch.com blog. While I’m usually bored, amused or numb (or some combination of the three) when reading the more homophobic comments by the national community, similarly prejudiced comments from folks in the local community have, in rare moments, left me stunned and staring at my computer screen. The other day, I was embarrassed to realize I had fat tears racing away from my eyes.

Sometimes I comment, other times I don’t. Today, I’d like to share the response that won’t fit into a comment box. I fully support freedom of speech but please remember that while you’re at home typing away on your computer, you might as well be standing in a large circle of locals at the farmers’ market or town hall or outside your favorite café or restaurant while talking about “these people.” You’re talking about me, my wife, and my family.

We’re your neighbors. We’re standing here, right next to you, and you’re looking in our eyes as you talk about “those homosexuals.”

That’s exactly how close it feels as I read another “unscientific poll” posted at Patch.com by local journalist Susan Schoenberger essentially asking my neighbors what rights they think we should or shouldn’t have. Out of professional respect, I wrote a private letter to Schoenberger back in May and asked her to consider another perspective regarding a poll asking for comments about Obama’s evolving views on same-sex marriage. She didn’t respond. Perhaps she didn’t receive my message? I sent another but still no response.

Patch_s Poll_ Should the Boy Scouts Allow Local Units to Decide Whether to Admit Gays? - Granby-East Granby, CT Patch

Obviously, Schoenberger’s never experienced what it’s like to see a poll in a public forum asking the community whether her marriage to her husband should be recognized by the federal government or whether her husband should be allowed to be a scout leader or her son a scout because of their sexual orientations.

Patch’s Poll_ Should Gay People Be Afforded the Same Federal Rights in Marriage? - Granby-East Granby, CT Patch

And local journalist Ronald DeRosa has surely never had his personal life be the subject of polls such as his equally disturbing posts titled “Should Gay People Be Afforded the Same Federal Rights in Marriage?“ and “Do You Care About a Private Group’s Stance on Issues Such as Gay Rights?“ and “Should Schools Police Kids’ T-Shirt Slogans?“ illustrated by a photo of an anti-gay t-shirt worn by a Connecticut teen.

Regardless of whatever DeRosa and Schoenberger’s best intentions or personal politics may be, this sort of “community journalism” creates a very different discussion and environment than this morning’s poll regarding the U.S. Postal Service cutting Saturday deliveries.

My marriage and family is the topic that’s been proposed once again for discussion—clothed this time in the Boy Scouts of America issue. Might this have something to do with the advertisers who pay salaries and Patch.com editors’ eagerness to please AOL?

I simply ask local journalists and community members to consider the fact that gay people are probably standing in your circle outside the coffee shop. Like you, our hands are in our pockets on a cold day. And we hear, unfortunately, all you have to say about us.

Each and every comment that acknowledges our right to civil rights is profoundly appreciated. But the homophobic comments from neighbors—even if they’re in the minority, even if there’s just a couple—can be unsettling at best and heartbreaking at worst.

Surprised I was surprised, I began tweeting a series of quotes as I read comments from several polls:

Overheard in CT: I guess the homosexuals and pedophiles need somewhere to go. […] Why can’t they just form their own clubs?

Overheard in CT: most gay men do not believe in…”sexually faithful” relationships, so their arguments for “gay marriage” are specious at best

Overheard in CT: gay choice is based in a deep need to compensate for a severe lack of essential nurture…or a severe destruction of psyche

Overheard in CT: I find it amazing that homosexual behavior, which used to bring a chorus of “Ewwwws” 50 years ago, because we knew…(cont)

Overheard (cont)“…we knew it was unnatural and aberrent, now must be thought of with the same warm fuzzies as for heterosexual couples.”

Overheard in CT: We think we are enlightened, but actually our minds are being slowly boiled in the ever warming caldron of the PC-ers,

Overheard in CT: If the homosexuals come in, I would expect many parents to pull their sons out. I know I would do so.

Overheard in CT: Why not have Gay Boy Scouts of America and Lesbian Girl Scouts of America…

Overheard (cont): If they have any doubt they should be supported in being heterosexual…

Overheard in CT: The policy just says you can’t be “open” about the gay thing.

Overheard in CT: Attacks are expected when a study challenges the strident advocates of same-sex parenting.

Overheard in CT: Bravo, BSA and Chick Fil-A

Overheard in CT: I don’t give to the united way because they support gay parades and such.

Overheard in CT: I’ll be taking my scout to chick fil a …for a sandwich. That’s after I send a big check to the local scouts.

Overheard in CT: “Try joining the NAACP or any womans group if you want to know real discrimination”

Overheard in CT: “Its a real simple concept, start your own gay troop instead of forcing your beliefs on others who do not agree with you.”

Overheard in Ct: Boy scouting has has largely enjoyed the blessing of God for all its years. Let’s just not mess with success.

Overheard in CT: It’s a shame these people keep getting away with wreaking havoc on so many great institutions.

Reading these quotes now, I again feel numb. But there are moments when it feels like we’re living some sort of contemporary, virtual version of Shirley Jackson’s short story, “The Lottery” (set in another small town I lived in). Meanwhile, we’re also paying taxes that benefit our community, voting on issues that affect our community, sending our child to the local school, in line behind you as you order a sandwich, holding the door for you as you enter the post office, and reading the same papers and local blog.

“We” are part of “you.” So, as you exercise your freedom of speech, please consider addressing us and these very personal issues with the same respect you’d hopefully employ if speaking to our faces—the same respect you’d want if your sexuality and family and civil rights were being openly debated in most every public forum, everywhere you look.

And this issue is not “moot until May” as one commenter said. My wife and I will be living this issue every day for the rest of our lives.

Chivas picChivas Sandage’s first book of poems, Hidden Drive (Antrim House, 2012), places Ada with Eve in Eden and explores same-sex marriage and divorce. Her essays and poems on gay marriage have appeared in Ms. Magazine,The Naugatuck River Review, Upstreet, Same-Sex Marriage: The Moral and Legal Debate (Prometheus Books, ‘04) and are forthcoming in Knockout Magazine. Her work has also appeared in Artful Dodge, Drunken Boat, Evergreen Review, Hampshire Life Magazine, The Hartford Courant, Manthology: Poems on the Male Experience (Univ. of Iowa Press, 2006) and Morning Song: Poems for New Parents (St. Martin’s Press, 2011). Sandage holds an MFA from Vermont College of Fine Arts and a BA from Bennington College. She lives in Connecticut with her wife and daughter and blogs at csandage.com.

Image, top, courtesy ACLU

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Five of the Wildest Things Trump Said at His Black History Month Celebration

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February 18, 2026

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A jovial President Donald Trump hosted a Black History Month celebration on Wednesday, ad-libbing many remarks that drew online criticism.

‘He’s Not a Racist. He’s My Friend’

“Talk about a piece of work, but he could fight, couldn’t he, huh?” Trump said. “Mike Tyson, boy, I tell you, Mike has been loyal to me. Whenever they come out, they say, ‘Trump’s a racist.’ You know, it’s like a saber. ‘Trump’s a racist.’ Mike Tyson goes, ‘He’s not a racist. He’s my friend.’ He’s been there from the beginning. Good times and bad. But Mike Tyson’s a great guy, and he was so loyal, always been loyal.”

Trump went on to mention his “great friend,” former NFL player Lawrence Taylor, “the greatest defensive player, probably, in the history of football, he’s a great friend of mine.”

Historically Black Colleges and Universities

Trump called Assistant Attorney General Harmeet Dhillon “Harmeet Diller,” then asked her about suing “extremely discriminatory” Harvard University. “You keep suing them, the h — — with them,” he said, to laughter.

“I like the Historically Black Colleges and Universities, which I saved,” he claimed — crediting himself for signing bipartisan legislation that secured funding for them in 2019. “They had no funding,” he said.

“We took care of the Historically Black Colleges and Universities, and it was a great thing to do,” he added.

‘Sometimes, We Have to Force Ourselves Upon Them’

Apparently referring to deploying federal forces into U.S. cities, Trump told the audience, “We’re doing it, in a lot of cities. Sometimes we have to force ourselves upon them because they’re so bad. And I don’t even think they know what’s happening to their cities and their towns.”

Confusion between The Bahamas and Bermuda

Speaking of former football great and failed Republican senatorial candidate Herschel Walker, whom Trump endorsed, the president said, “Herschel Walker — speaking about loyal — how good a football player was Herschel? Herschel Walker, now he’s Ambassador to The Bahamas — I don’t know, Bahamas, Bermuda, is he Bahamas? Whatever. It’s a nice place.”

Nicki Minaj

“Jazz, the blues, from rock and roll to rap, Black artists like Chuck Berry, Muddy Waters — How about Nicki Minaj? Do we love Nicki Minaj? Right? I love Nicki Minaj,” Trump said.

“She was here a couple of weeks ago. So beautiful. Her skin’s so beautiful. I said, ‘Nikki, you’re so pure.’ Her nails, her nails, they’re, like, that long.”

“I said, I said, ‘Nicki, are they real?’ And she said — she didn’t want to get into that.”

“But she was so beautiful and so great, and she. And she gets it, you know, more importantly, frankly, she gets it.”

 

Image via Reuters

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‘You’re Kidding Right?’: WH Press Secretary Stunned Over ‘Falsely Called Racist’ Question

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10 hours ago

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February 18, 2026

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White House Press Secretary Karoline Leavitt appeared stunned when a reporter asked her for examples of President Donald Trump falsely being called a racist.

The president this week used his statement on the death of Reverend Jesse Jackson to argue that he is not a racist.

“Despite the fact that I am falsely and consistently called a Racist by the Scoundrels and Lunatics on the Radical Left, Democrats ALL, it was always my pleasure to help Jesse along the way,” he wrote.

On Wednesday, a reporter asked, “Where or when does the president believe he’s been falsely called racist?”

Leavitt replied, “You’re kidding, right?”

READ MORE: Trump’s Wild 24 Hour Truth Social Frenzy

“I will pull you plethora of examples,” she said, vowing to get her team “going through the internet of radical Democrats throughout the years … who have accused this president falsely of being a racist, and I’m sure there’s many people in this room and on network television, across the country, who have accused him of the same.”

“In fact, I know that because I’ve seen it with my own eyes,” she said, before noting that Trump is hosting a Black History Month celebration later on Wednesday.

Trump, she said, will “talk about how his policies are advancing opportunity and prosperity for all Americans through record tax cuts, through the Trump accounts that all Americans can access regardless of race.”

“These are a great thing,” she continued, before noting that the president “has also awarded hundreds of millions of dollars in additional funding to strengthen educational outcomes at historically Black colleges and universities, across the country.”

READ MORE: ‘Gaslight America’: Marjorie Taylor Greene Blasts Trump Ahead of His Trip to Georgia

She also said that Trump is “protecting the hard-earned benefits of the 2.4 million Black veterans who honorably served in our nation’s armed forces by reducing the Black backlog of veterans waiting for their VA benefits, and for their home loans through the Department of Veterans Affairs.”

“So, there is a lot this president has done for all Americans, regardless of race, and he has, absolutely, been falsely called and smeared as a racist, and I’m happy to provide you those receipts,” she added.

READ MORE: ‘Republicans Have to Lose’: Far Right Extremist Leader Puts Trump on Notice

 

Image via Reuters 

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‘Gaslight America’: Marjorie Taylor Greene Blasts Trump Ahead of His Trip to Georgia

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12 hours ago

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February 18, 2026

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Former Republican U.S. Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is sharply criticizing President Donald Trump ahead of his Thursday trip to her former district, where he made — and then apparently forgot — an endorsement in the race to fill her old House seat.

“Well, we have a lot of people that want to take Marjorie ‘Traitor’ Greene’s place,” Trump said on Monday, as The Daily Beast reported. “Many, many candidates, and I have to choose one.”

Greene ignored Trump’s gaffe, but hit him, his administration, and her former Republican colleagues head-on in a post on X where she accused them all of trying to gaslight the American people.

“If you had put America FIRST from the start, instead of your rich donor class and foreign policy, you wouldn’t have to strategize on how to gaslight Americans,” wrote Greene, a former top Trump ally.

READ MORE: Trump’s Wild 24 Hour Truth Social Frenzy

“If you had not called the Epstein files a hoax and treated the Epstein survivors (rape and trafficking victims) like they didn’t exist and if you would release all the files and put your rich powerful friends in prison then Americans might actually listen to your ‘messaging,'” she charged.

Mocking them all as on the “struggle bus,” Greene explained the situation her former constituents now face.

“Approximately 75,000 households in my former district had their health insurance double or more on January 1st of this year because the ACA tax credits expired and Republicans have absolutely failed to fix our health insurance system that was destroyed by Obamacare,” she said.

Republicans have blocked Democrats’ efforts — including a federal government shutdown over the expiring Affordable Care Act subsidies — to prevent the health care premiums crisis.

Greene said that hundreds of thousands of people in her former district saw their health insurance premiums double last month.

“Many dropped their policies and no longer have health insurance,” she wrote. “And that’s on top of EVERYONE ELSE who complains DAILY about the absurdly high cost of health insurance!!!”

She said the billionaires running the White House, the Trump administration, and Congress aren’t affected by the high health insurance premiums, noting that all of them have “very nice affordable government health insurance plans.”

READ MORE: ‘Republicans Have to Lose’: Far Right Extremist Leader Puts Trump on Notice

“I’m talking about younger healthier people and families not on meds who can’t afford to pay $1500 to more than $2000 per month just for their monthly health insurance premiums,” she wrote, “not including $7-10,000 for a deductible before their ridiculously expensive health insurance policy kicks in.”

Greene also took a shot at House Speaker Mike Johnson, who, she said, “claimed he had the Republican plan during the 8 week shutdown in the fall, then carried on and has done nothing proving he lied once again.”

She also blasted Trump’s “messaging” efforts.

“Trump RX doesn’t fix this so that’s not your messaging answer,” she wrote. “A Truth Social Post or Trump video isn’t fixing this either.”

“Messaging won’t fix this,” she added.

Greene then moved on to foreign policy, warning Trump not to go to war with Iran. She also urged him to release the Epstein files, and told him to “stop the bullying, harassment, and name calling.”

“It’s immature, childish, and turning so many people away. Real leaders don’t act this way and it’s a horrible example set on the world’s stage. This isn’t the behavior we want to teach our children.”

“Deliver real results for the regular American people because respect is earned not given,” she said.

READ MORE: ‘Insulting’: Fox News Panel Implodes as Host Clashes With Liberal Guest Over Voter ID

 

Image via Shutterstock

 

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