Connect with us

Herman Cain, America’s Favorite New Bully

Published

on

Barring a late entry by Zombie Reagan, it looks like we now have a final lineup of contestants for the 2012 cycle of So You Think You Can Beat Obama. Chris Christie, after spending weeks teasing dissatisfied Republicans to near climax by threatening to run for the nomination, has instead hopped the closest state funded helicopter and flown back to New Jersey, probably at taxpayer expense. Meanwhile, Sarah Palin dominated the news cycle for almost thirty whole minutes by announcing that she too would decline a presidential run, not because of the fact that the she’d have a better chance at winning a science fair than she would the presidency, but because, as she told Mark Levin, “Not being a candidate, really you are unshackled and you’re able to be even more active.” This is Mamma Grizzly talk for, “Running for president is hard and doesn’t pay well, and anyway I’d rather spend my days criticizing people and updating my Facebook status. Oh, and I’m doing YouTube now, cause on that you don’t even have to spellcheck.”

This leaves eight culture warriors vying to be the name plastered on all those poster board signs when the balloons drop in Tampa next August. Most of these people have no chance at all. We do not need to trouble ourselves with the notion of a Newt Gingrich Presidency. Michele Bachmann isn’t going to happen.

And then there is Jon Huntsman, who is is a somewhat reasonable man, stuck in a desperately crazy party. He is not horrible on gay rights, at least as far as Republicans go, but ultimately Jon Huntsman is the guy who has shown up at the costume party not wearing a costume. He stands out for looking so normal. You will not find any tri-cornered hats in this man’s closet, which is why his campaign is doomed. Rather than run for president, he should be put behind glass in a museum as an example of what Republicans looked like before The Republican Revolution made being an arrogant asshole cool again.

 

So now Herman Cain is a man of science. Evolution and climate change are liberal conspiracies, but on homosexuality, he’s all about the science.

 

No, this race has come down to three people. First, we have Rick Perry, who I believe to be a secretly brilliant performance artist disguised as a hopelessly confused cardboard caricature of a Republican candidate. And let’s not forget Mitt Romney, who would wear a party dress and give head on television if he thought it would get him elected president. Also, for some odd reason, Herman Cain.

Out of nowhere, the seemingly pointless vanity candidacy of Herman Cain has evolved into something of a legitimate threat, mostly because the ever baffling Rick Perry has already begun to implode, either because he is a terrible candidate, or because he is our generation’s Andy Kaufman. (It’s totally the second one. I just can’t prove it.) Regardless, it’s not working out, and Perry is collapsing in the polls. Rather than settle with Mitt Romney, who is despised by giant sections of the Republican party, they have decided to give a shot to the AAA player of the moment, Herman Cain. Maybe they think his 9-9-9 plan is clever marketing, despite the fact that it is outrageously stupid fiscal policy. (For more on this look, well, anywhere.)

What does this mean? Mostly that Herman Cain gets to be on TV a lot now. He’ll probably grace the cover of Time Magazine before too long, and for a few weeks we will have to pretend like he has a real shot. And who knows, he might. (Hint: He doesn’t.)

What we do get to be treated to is raw Herman Cain. More TV means more talking, which means more “straight talk,” or as everyone else calls it, “making amateurish campaign mistakes and other totally unforced errors because Herman Cain is in no way ready for all of this attention.”

This brings me to Joy Behar. While on his, “I really can’t believe I am relevant right now” national media tour he was asked by Joy Behar whether or not he thought that homosexuality was a choice. He replied with an unequivocal “Yes.” Then we got this:

“Well, you show me the science that it’s not and I’ll be persuaded. Right now it’s my opinion against the opinions of others who feel differently. That’s just a difference of opinions.”

Oh so now Herman Cain is a man of science. Evolution and climate change are liberal conspiracies, but on this issue, he’s all about the data.

Fine then. If all it takes is a little hard evidence, then how about this or this? If that’s not to your liking, then what about this, this, or this?

Or perhaps this statement from the American Medical Association will be sufficient. It says that:

(The AMA) opposes, the use of “reparative” or “conversion” therapy that is based upon the assumption that homosexuality per se is a mental disorder or based upon the a priori assumption that the patient should change his/her homosexual orientation.

I bet none of this is enough for Herman Cain. He is a liar, and his views have nothing to do with science. This is about something else altogether. You see, this is not the first time Scientist Herman Cain has weighed in on the subject of homosexuality as a choice, though this time, it’s not the science of the matter that has him convinced. From CBS News:

“I believe homosexuality is a sin because I’m a Bible-believing Christian, I believe it’s a sin,” he said. “But I know that some people make that choice. That’s their choice.”

Cain was asked: “So you believe it’s a choice?”

“I believe it is a choice,” he responded.

Well that doesn’t sound like a very scientific rationale. Which is it Herman Cain? Is it because you don’t find the science convincing, or because the Bible says so? You can’t have both. Well you can, but it makes you a poor scientist and an even worse “Bible-beliving” Christian.

And why would this matter anyway?

I suppose, for him and people like him, convincing themselves that homosexuality is a choice makes it easier to support Constitutional amendments denying LGBT people marriage equality, to pursue the reinstatement of DADT, and to veto the Employment Non-Discrimination Act.

Let’s just break that down. Pretend for a moment that being gay is a choice. Herman Cain is saying that if you elect homosexuality, you should be kicked out of the Army, fired, and denied access to the legal protections necessary to form a family with the person of your choice. Because of Jesus, apparently. It’s okay to defame, demean, and devalue an entire class of people if you don’t agree with their choices. That doesn’t make you righteous, it makes you an awful person.

But of course, being gay is obviously not a choice. Here is a fun rule: If you can “choose” to be gay, and then “choose” to be straight, then you are bisexual. I suspect none of the people using the “choice” rationale actually believe it. It’s just something they say so they can publicly justify their despicable behavior toward LGBT people. It’s the cover bullies use so they can sleep at night.

No, Herman Cain doesn’t like gay people, and doesn’t want to be forced to live in a world where it’s unacceptable to be nasty to them. This is what conservatives are talking about when they express fears of homosexual “normalization.”

That, or he is suggesting that everyone is bi. If so, that sort of brings a new meaning to “The Cain Train.” Maybe I’m in for a ticket after all.

 

Benjamin Phillips is a Humor Writer, Web Developer, Civics Nerd, and all around crank that spends entirely too much time shouting with deep exasperation at the television, especially whenever cable news is on. He lives in St. Louis, MO and spends most of his time staring at various LCD screens, occasionally taking walks in the park whenever his boyfriend becomes sufficiently convinced that Benjamin is becoming a reclusive hermit person. He is available for children’s parties, provided that those children are entertained by hearing a complete windbag talk for two hours about the importance of science education, or worse yet, poorly researched anecdotes PROVING that James Buchanan was totally gay. If civilization were to collapse due to zombie hoards or nuclear holocaust, Benjamin would be among the first to die as he has no useful skills of any kind. The post-apocalyptic hellscape has no real need for homosexual computer programmers who can name all the presidents in order, as well as the actors who have played all eleven incarnations of Doctor Who.

 

Related Topics:
Continue Reading
Click to comment
 
 

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. The New Civil Rights Movement depends on readers like you to meet our ongoing expenses and continue producing quality progressive journalism. Three Silicon Valley giants consume 70 percent of all online advertising dollars, so we need your help to continue doing what we do.

NCRM is independent. You won’t find mainstream media bias here. From unflinching coverage of religious extremism, to spotlighting efforts to roll back our rights, NCRM continues to speak truth to power. America needs independent voices like NCRM to be sure no one is forgotten.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure NCRM remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to NCRM, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.

News

‘Fear Small Crowds?’: Trump and Team Mocked as ‘Snowflakes’ for Inauguration Move

Published

15 hours ago

on

January 17, 2025

By

When Donald Trump raises his right hand on Monday to swear an oath to the U.S. Constitution as America’s 47th President, he will do so not as most Presidents have done, outside the U.S. Capitol in Washington, D.C., but inside. Amid forecasted temperatures in the mid-20s, Trump has decided to move the proceedings inside, a decision that was quickly met with mockery and prompted speculation about crowd size concerns.

Washington, D.C. suffers from — or boasts, depending on personal preference — a wide range of temperatures. In January, temperatures in recent years have ranged from a balmy 80 degrees (2024) to a frigid 5 degrees (2015). And while temperatures in the mid-40s are average for January, 24 degrees, the forecast for Inauguration Day, is not especially unusual.

“Due to the dangerously cold temperatures expected Monday, President-elect Trump’s inauguration is moving indoors. Expect Trump and Vance to be sworn in inside the Capitol Rotunda,” CNN’s Kaitlan Collins reported Friday. A short time later she added: “Trump confirms it’s moving inside, citing the danger posed to attendees by the cold. He says guests will be brought inside the Capitol.”

READ MORE: Biden Sparks Legal Battle by Declaring Equal Rights Amendment Is Now ‘Law of the Land’

Trump posted a dramatic explanation: “January 20th cannot come fast enough! Everybody, even those that initially opposed a Victory by President Donald J. Trump and the Trump Administration, just want it to happen,” he claimed.

“It is my obligation to protect the People of our Country but, before we even begin, we have to think of the Inauguration itself. The weather forecast for Washington, D.C., with the windchill factor, could take temperatures into severe record lows,” Trump also claimed.

“There is an Arctic blast sweeping the Country. I don’t want to see people hurt, or injured, in any way. It is dangerous conditions for the tens of thousands of Law Enforcement, First Responders, Police K9s and even horses, and hundreds of thousands of supporters that will be outside for many hours on the 20th (In any event, if you decide to come, dress warmly!),” he wrote.

“Therefore, I have ordered the Inauguration Address, in addition to prayers and other speeches, to be delivered in the United States Capitol Rotunda, as was used by Ronald Reagan in 1985, also because of very cold weather. The various Dignitaries and Guests will be brought into the Capitol. This will be a very beautiful experience for all, and especially for the large TV audience!”

The temperature during Reagan’s second inauguration was 7 degrees, with a windchill making it feel like -40, Fox News reports.

The decision surprised many.

“It was 28°F when Barack Obama was sworn in at noon on January 20, 2009 before a crowd of nearly two million people,” observed Aaron Fritschner, Deputy Chief of Staff to U.S. Rep. Don Beyer (D-VA). “NOT INCLUDING THE INSANE WIND CHILL!!”

Susan Rice, a former top advisor to both Presidents Barack Obama and Joe Biden, mocked Trump and team: “SNOWFLAKES,” she snarked, using the common derisive term occasionally leveled at Democrats by the right.

READ MORE: Trump Threatens FBI Office, Alleges ‘Corruption,’ Demands They ‘Preserve All Records’

Some critics suggested the issue was not weather but attendance — just like when Trump was inaugurated before a small crowd in 2017, only to make his first White House Press Secretary’s job to denounce those claims and declare, “This was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period,” he emphatically and infamously insisted — reportedly at Trump’s direction.

“Moving the inauguration inside due to freezing temps takes crowd size ‘off the table’ as Trump’s second term begins,” CNN’s Brian Stelter, citing his colleague Dana Bash, noted.

Sam Stein of The Bulwark suggested that President-elect Trump has been trying to get more people to show up: “Trump has been running twitter ads to get folks to come to the inauguration. If they’re now moving it indoors, you have to imagine folks who booked travel will be left distraught.”

David Axelrod, senior advisor and chief campaign strategist to President Barack Obama, also mocked Trump.

“In ’61, John F. Kennedy was Inaugurated on the Capitol steps, in windchills of 7 degrees. It was almost as cold for Obama in ’09. In fairness, Trump IS more than 3 decades older than JFK & Obama were. Or did he just fear small crowds?”

Former Obama Deputy White House Press Secretary Bill Burton, offering a history lesson, suggested there aren’t a large number of people interested in attending Trump’s second inauguration. He wrote “Tell me you have a crowd size problem without telling me you have a crowd size problem. It was colder for Obama’s and JFK’s inaugurations and JFK didn’t even wear a coat.”

Watch the video above or at this link.

READ MORE: ‘My Eyes and Ears’: Trump Names Ambassadors to Hollywood, Critics Question Motives

 

Image via Reuters

Continue Reading

News

Biden Sparks Legal Battle by Declaring Equal Rights Amendment Is Now ‘Law of the Land’

Published

18 hours ago

on

January 17, 2025

By

President Joe Biden, just days before he will exit the White House, announced on Friday that the Equal Rights Amendment, which would enshrine in the U.S. Constitution equal rights for women, is now the 28th Amendment and “the law of the land.” Although he has some legal scholars backing this declaration, experts say there are still legal hurdles and a legal battle to overcome.

“Today I’m affirming what I have long believed and what three-fourths of the states have ratified: The 28th Amendment is the law of the land, guaranteeing all Americans equal rights and protections under the law regardless of their sex,” President Biden wrote. “I have supported the Equal Rights Amendment for more than 50 years and have long been clear that no one should be discriminated against based on their sex. We must affirm and protect women’s full equality once and for all.”

“On January 27, 2020,” President Biden explained in his statement on the White House website, “the Commonwealth of Virginia became the 38th state to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment. The American Bar Association (ABA) has recognized that the Equal Rights Amendment has cleared all necessary hurdles to be formally added to the Constitution as the 28th Amendment. I agree with the ABA and with leading legal constitutional scholars that the Equal Rights Amendment has become part of our Constitution.”

READ MORE: Trump Threatens FBI Office, Alleges ‘Corruption,’ Demands They ‘Preserve All Records’

“It is long past time to recognize the will of the American people. In keeping with my oath and duty to Constitution and country, I affirm what I believe and what three-fourths of the states have ratified: the 28th Amendment is the law of the land, guaranteeing all Americans equal rights and protections under the law regardless of their sex.”

CNN calls Biden’s announcement “a last-minute move that some believe could pave the way to bolstering reproductive rights.”

“It will, however, certainly draw swift legal challenges – and its next steps remain extremely unclear as Biden prepares to leave office.”

The news network also credits U.S. Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) with “making a major push for certification, saying in a memo to interested parties that it would give Biden a way to ‘codify women’s freedom and equality without needing anything from a bitterly divided and broken Congress’ in the aftermath of the 2022 Supreme Court decision overturning Roe v. Wade.”

In 2020, after Virginia became the 38th state to ratify the ERA, the necessary requirement of three-fourths ratification may have been met.

As The Brennan Center for Justice noted just days later, “there are still hurdles in the ERA’s path. The ratification deadlines that Congress set after it approved the amendment have lapsed, and five states have acted to rescind their prior approval. These raise important questions, and now it is up to Congress, the courts, and the American people to resolve them.”

READ MORE: ‘My Eyes and Ears’: Trump Names Ambassadors to Hollywood, Critics Question Motives

Congress could try to waive the deadline and try to ignore the states that rescinded their ratification.

President Biden did not order the National Archivist to certify the ERA as the 28th Amendment. Some have suggested neither has the legal authority to do so at this point.

But some have also suggested the deadline was unconstitutional.

The Associated Press called President Biden’s declaration “a symbolic statement that’s unlikely to alter a decades-long push for gender equality,” and “unlikely to have any impact.”

“Presidents do not have any role in the amendment process. The leader of the National Archives had previously said that the amendment cannot be certified because it wasn’t ratified before a deadline set by Congress,” the AP added. It noted that the National Archives said, “the underlying legal and procedural issues have not changed.”

READ MORE: DeSantis’ Rubio Replacement Seen as Trump Loyalist and MAGA Culture Warrior

 

Image via Reuters

Continue Reading

News

Trump Threatens FBI Office, Alleges ‘Corruption,’ Demands They ‘Preserve All Records’

Published

19 hours ago

on

January 17, 2025

By

Just days before he will be sworn into office, President-elect Donald Trump is alleging the FBI has been engaging in “corruption,” after learning the Bureau has shut down its “DEI Office,” officially the Office of Diversity and Inclusion. The FBI has a lengthy, ongoing investigation into the January 6, 2021 insurrection and attack on the U.S. Capitol. It also conducted an intensive investigation into Trump’s removal and refusal to return classified documents, including top secret national security materials, and executed a lawful search warrant on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort and residence to retrieve some of those documents.

“We demand that the FBI preserve and retain all records, documents, and information on the now closing DEI Office—Never should have been opened and, if it was, should have closed long ago. Why is it that they’re closing one day before the Inauguration of a new Administration? The reason is, CORRUPTION!” Trump alleged, offering no proof or evidence, in a social media post Thursday evening.

Trump pointed to a report from Mediaite: “FBI Shuttered DEI Office Ahead of Trump’s Inauguration.”

READ MORE: ‘My Eyes and Ears’: Trump Names Ambassadors to Hollywood, Critics Question Motives

“While on the campaign trail, Trump stated he would end ‘wokeness’ and ‘leftist indoctrination’ by dismantling diversity programs and imposing fines on colleges ‘up to the entire amount of their endowment,” the Mediaite report reads. “More recently, Sen. Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) sent a letter to outgoing FBI Director Christopher Wray stating the agency’s DEI practices ‘endanger Americans.’ Blackburn made those comments shortly after the New Year’s Day terror attack in New Orleans.”

The Bureau’s Office of Diversity and Inclusion “was created in 2012 to provide guidance and implement programs that promote a diverse and inclusive workplace that allows all employees to succeed and advance,” according to an archived version of its website. That page, which stresses, “Different backgrounds. One mission,” appears to no longer be accessible from the FBI’s website, and instead forwards to the main page.

“The FBI’s efforts to diversify are crucial to creating an inclusive workforce and to being increasingly effective and efficient in our investigations and keeping the American public safe,” FBI Chief Diversity Officer Scott McMillion said in a quote on that page.

READ MORE: DeSantis’ Rubio Replacement Seen as Trump Loyalist and MAGA Culture Warrior

Apparently baseless accusations against DEI abound.

The New Republic notes that the “FBI came under fire recently as many on the right openly blamed the deadly truck attack on New Year’s Day in New Orleans on the agency’s DEI policies.”

“The priority of the last four years has been DEI, not IEDs,” New York Republican Representative Dan Meuser had told Fox News,” TNR reported.

“The ODI office isn’t closing because of corruption,” TNR added, “like Trump is claiming in all caps on Truth Social. It’s likely closing for the same reason Walmart, Meta, McDonald’s, and others are reneging on DEI policy: Trump is back.”

READ MORE: Trump Ran on Promise to Lower Grocery Prices — Few Americans Now Believe He Will

 

Image via Reuters

Continue Reading

Trending

Copyright © 2020 AlterNet Media.