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That’s Why We’re Not Inaugurating You – An Ode To Mitt Romney

by Jean Ann Esselink on January 21, 2013

in Farce,Jean Ann Esselink,News,Politics

Post image for That’s Why We’re Not Inaugurating You – An Ode To Mitt Romney

On this day of celebration when Barack Obama takes the oath of office, I offer to Mitt Romney, who must be having a very bad day – a little salt in the wound. 

You pursued a cutthroat game plan,
In your brutal Primary fight.
Wherever your opponent stood,
You scurried to his right.
You thought you’d shake the Etch- a-Sketch,
And start again anew.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

When a soldier in Afghanistan,
Asked if you had your say,
Would you reinstate Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?
And told you he was gay.
You didn’t reprimand the crowd,
When they began to boo.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

You didn’t speak when Sandra Fluke,
Was called a “slut” by Rush.
You were silent when your party,
Tried to take our votes from us.
You said nothing when Todd Akin,
Claimed that not all rapes are true.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

When asked if you would sign,
A woman’s Right to Choose away,
You answered women only cared,
How much was in their pay.
You made Ann your link to women,
When she never had a clue.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

You embarrassed us in Europe,
Wherever you would go.
Ann’s horse made the Olympics,
But you didn’t even show.
You’d let Michigan go bankrupt,
From Detroit to Kalamazoo.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

You believe that everyone,
Loves nothing more than money.
And shaving off a classmates hair,
Was your idea of funny.
You like your women bound in binders,
Unless they’re pregnant in a shoe.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

You gave millions to the Mormons,
To Fund Proposition Eight.
You may have called that charity,
Gay couples call it “hate”.
You threatened to kill Big Bird,
And you’re married to a shrew.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

There are forty-seven percent of us,
For whom you had no care.
You claimed it wasn’t our concern,
If you were taxed your share.
In your heart, you didn’t love us,
And we didn’t love you too.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

Image from the White House Facebook Page

tncrmJean Ann Esselink is a straight friend to the gay community. Proud and loud Liberal. Closet writer of political fiction. Black sheep agnostic Democrat from a conservative Catholic family. Living in Northern Oakland County Michigan with Puck the Wonder Beagle. Follow me on Twitter as @Uncucumbered or friend me on Facebook

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BJLincoln January 21, 2013 at 10:49 am


uncucumbered January 21, 2013 at 11:47 am

No answering verse today? I know you have it in you!

BJLincoln January 21, 2013 at 1:50 pm

I had to stop and watch our President. Was that great or what!
Here goes…
Your robot like demeanor and
lack of accent gave us pause,
Your glazed eyes when questions came up
that were not part of your cause,
Your lack of real compassion even
for those you claim you knew.
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

Flip flops I wear upon my feet
and not my politics.
You were able to dish it out
but could not take your licks.
This office seemed less of leadership and
more resume builder for vous
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

Obama stands for everyone
Not just white, rich, and tall
He stands for every color, creed, love,
old, poor, big, and small
For these dear Mitt you do not care
you flew your colors true
And that’s why we’re not inaugurating you.

uncucumbered January 21, 2013 at 5:43 pm

Thumbs up!

BJLincoln January 21, 2013 at 7:38 pm

Thank you.

BJLincoln January 21, 2013 at 7:47 pm

Da..I just figured out who this was. Thank you again. I'm a big fan.

barbonine January 21, 2013 at 11:54 am

What's Mitt's address in San Diego?
I want to hand-deliver this thing.

GaelicWench January 22, 2013 at 10:34 am

I'm traveling to SD to visit my mom in May; I'll be more than happy to do the evil deed. *cackle* They live in the hills of La Jolla enabling them to see the Pacific. Truly beautiful until it became so overbuilt. Who wants that!

barbonine January 22, 2013 at 10:52 am

He's up on Mount Soledad, where he bitches about beachgoers making noise and smoking pot. Some day, gonna come a rain that will wash all the richies off the mountain. Seriously. It's sandstone and graded pads. Uphill neighbor leaves the sprinklers on for a week, there goes the neighborhood!

Scott_Rose January 21, 2013 at 4:08 pm

What a delightful rubbing-of-salt-in-the-wound for SHITT WRONGMONEY.

TurboKitty January 21, 2013 at 8:38 pm

Absolutely fabulous!!!

uncucumbered January 21, 2013 at 9:09 pm

Thank you.

Robroberts2013 January 21, 2013 at 9:06 pm

Romney's hand wasn't on the bible today
Because he lied and lied
When asked to justify his Bain shenanigans,
He hardly even tried.

Deep down Mitt didn't really care
About the common man;
We humans are mere spreadsheet entries
Not a part of his grand plan.

But we humans have a funny way
Of knowing who has got our back;
We knew that Mitt and Paul's promises
Were really an attack

Mitt Romney thought he'd win
Convinced he was a God
But Mitts permanent shit eating grin
Was nothing but a fraud

The lesson from Mitt's nasty run
To most is plain and clear —
Don't sell our country to the highest bidder
And sell us a future based on fear

uncucumbered January 21, 2013 at 11:15 pm

I think I have started a trend. Cathartic, isn't it?

trishSWFL January 22, 2013 at 12:00 am

a wonderful trend! love it! :)

Robroberts2013 January 22, 2013 at 1:37 am

Yes, thank you for starting this! Mitt is such great material, I could have gone on and on … And on.

GaelicWench January 22, 2013 at 10:43 am

He brought all this upon himself. No one put him up to this. He simply isn't a people person; neither is his wife. She's got the personality of a bookend. I read about Ann's involvement in the community when her husband was governor of MA. She was not see in public all that much; her health wouldn't allow her to be able to meet the requirements of FL.

For her, it is what it is. For him…….Jean Ann's poem speaks volumes. No more need be said.

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