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Out October: “Not One Day Do I Wish To Be Straight.”

by Caleb Eigsti on October 29, 2010

in Caleb Eigsti,Out October

Today’s Out October Project comes from Miké Negron, a guy who knows who he is and isn’t afraid to be that person. No matter what anyone thinks or says he remains strong and committed to being true to himself. His courage should be a message of hope to all of us.

You can catch all the stories in our month-long series here.

My name is Miké Negron.

I came out as bisexual in tenth grade to one of my friends and from there the news spread to most of my friends. It was, thankfully, widely accepted, and was quite obvious to some people and that hurt a little, that some people said “finally.” For that reason I don’t pressure anyone to come out or even question their sexuality.

I came out to my Mom in eleventh grade and she was very accepting and comforting. After a couple months I decided to change my sexuality on Myspace to ‘Bisexual’ and decided that from there that if anyone had a problem with it they could come to me. I didn’t think I needed to come up to everyone and confess. If someone would assume I was straight, I would just correct them. Either they get the hint or not. My biggest problems were when I decided to dress with less clothes on, much like the photo, (left) and started to emulate Madonna much more than Justin Bieber. Although I do not want to change my physical gender, I feel that I can be feminine or masculine in almost any way. Inside I am not the typical man to any degree and I relate more to women. Does that make me a woman? If it does, it wouldn’t change the way I perceive myself any differently than I already do. But, the downside to coming out is the way that society views me.

I live in a suburb in New York and people like me are rare. Gay slurs are tossed around as curse words and I don’t take it too kindly. My friends and family admire me because I am not willing to allow anyone’s negative view of me to make me question myself. It hurts, but my heart becomes a bull when anyone decides to discriminate against me.

I’m endlessly grateful for what I’ve gone through though because it inspires me every day to be an artist. I want to change the way society views what a man can be, much like how Madonna has done and continues to do. More specifically, younger men who are in the LGBTQ community don’t have good role models to look up to. We either have Neil Patrick Harris or Madonna. And Neil still conforms to what a man typically is in society and Madonna is a woman. How society treats these two individuals isn’t how I am treated. For this reason I refuse to give up on my dream of making pop music history and inspiring the next generation to celebrate who we really are.

Not one day do I wish to be straight, or look more like a man just so that I don’t have to feel this pain. I know what is truly right and that comforts me more than the comfort of the outside world. I encourage everyone to come out of their closet at their own pace and sneer at the individual who questions and thrusts their ideas on who you are. So wipe the dust off and live your life.

Remember, there are always options.
The Trevor Project: a 24-hour hotline for gay and questioning youth: 866-4-U-TREVOR (488-7386)
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 800-273-TALK (8255)

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