A High Schooler’s Request: Observe the Day of Silence this Friday

A Request From an Out High School Student

Happy Passover, Happy Easter, Happy Spring! 

I’ve been privileged to work with LGBTQ teens across the country, and they constantly inspire and amaze me. Over the weekend, Zachary Bernstein, a high school student from Michigan I’ve been lucky to get to know over the past few years posted a request to his friends and family to observe the Day of Silence this coming Friday. 

For many folks the Day of Silence can be quite controversial – some disagree with the tactic of staying silent instead of giving voice to the discrimination LGBTQ people face. I found Zachary’s request to be quite compelling, so I asked him for permission to share it here. 

As always, please feel free to respond or share your thoughts on NCRM’s Facebook page – I think this is a really worthwhile discussion, especially as we move into the next phase in the fight for full LGBTQ equality.

  – Robbie

Zachary wrote:

This Friday, I will be participating in GLSEN’s annual Day Of Silence for the third time. The purpose of the Day of Silence is to bring awareness to the silencing effects of anti-LGBTQ name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools. LGBTQ people and allies are encouraged to participate.

Why is this important? According to GLSEN’s 2015 National School Climate Survey, 85% of LGBTQ students have experienced verbal harassment in school. 64% of LGBTQ students have heard homophobic or transphobic remarks from staff members, not just other students. 58% of LGBTQ students feel unsafe at school, and 32% of LGBTQ students skipped at least one day of school last year due to feeling unsafe. Over a quarter of LGBTQ students have faced physical violence due to their sexuality, gender identity, or how their sexuality or gender identity is perceived. For LGBTQ students, bullying is real. Safety concerns are real.

These aren’t issues of the past. 

I would like to emphasize that support from ALLIES on this day is very meaningful and important. Seeing people who aren’t part of this marginalized community stand up for those who are is powerful and inspiring to people who feel unsafe, insecure, or marginalized. We have a responsibility to all our fellow humans, not just the ones who fall in the same demographic groups as us.

If you are an ally, staying silent yourself, flashing a smile or thumbs-up to LGBTQ students you know who are observing the Day of Silence, or otherwise showing support for LGBTQ students may make someone feel much more secure and comfortable than they otherwise would have. 

I know that among LGBTQ people, Day of Silence is controversial. Is it important for us to raise awareness by being silent, or is it our day to proclaim loudly what we feel must be heard, hopefully with more allies quiet around us so that our voices are easier to make out? LGBTQ people I deeply respect have argued for both sides of this issue, and I can see this both ways. I, however, will be silent, for these reasons:

1. I am loud the other 364 days of the year. I use social media very frequently to advocate for LGBTQ issues and other political issues and civil rights issues. I spent much of the summer of 2016 working on a congressional campaign. There is nothing wrong with that, and I am proud of my activism. However, I feel like being silent on Friday will be more striking to people than just another Facebook post, and thereby will raise more awareness.

2. I want to make the Day of Silence easier for people who feel a little less comfortable participating in it than I do. For someone who is nervous about coming out, or nervous about participating in Day of Silence, I believe that seeing as many people as possible being silent and supporting the LGBTQ community could be very helpful. This was certainly the case for me. In my freshman year of high school, I wasn’t yet out publicly. Seeing the number of people, especially allies, who were wearing rainbow wristbands, not talking, and showing solidarity with LGBTQ people made me feel less scared about participating in it the following year, a month after I came out.

3. There is power in numbers. The more people who are silent, the more powerful the messages of pride, concern, and determination that we send. This day is about making a statement. The most people who unite, and the quieter the school hallways, the more noticeable the silence we create. Only by making the silence notable do we bring any awareness to the issues we care about.

 

Zachary Bernstein is a high school student in Michigan. Robbie Medwed is an Atlanta-based LGBTQ activist, writer, and educator. Follow him on Twitter: @rjmedwed

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Image via GLSEN