‘Beauty and the Beast’: Teach Your Children That We Are All Just Human

As the Supreme Court prepares to hear the case of Gavin Grimm, a transgender male student who is suing his school board for discrimination, a mother of six from Tulsa weighs in on the critical importance of educating all folks on “differences” in people.

I have actually seen some people post that they are not going to let their child see the new Disney “Beauty and the Beast” movie because there is a gay “moment” at the end of the movie. Just so those of you reading this know, this isn’t a liberal post. It’s an educational post. It’s worth the read. In my family there are bi-racial marriages, gay couples, my transgender nephew Arin Allen Andrews, a North Korean, people with different skin colors and a very good family friend with two prosthetic legs.Â

When my niece Emerald transitioned into my nephew Arin Allen Andrews, I talked to two of my six children, Diamond and Noah ONCE about it. The conversation went like this: “Emerald is now Arin. Arin is a boy and end of the conversation.” Guess what?? They said, “OK!!” Nothing else, and why, you must wonder, was it so very simple? Mostly I think because children are very simple individuals.

One very important observation. Diamond and Noah weren’t confused, scared, or curious, nor did they have questions such as which bathroom will Arin use in public places. They just didn’t care. Arin was just Arin to them, their cousin that they loved. From that day on they called him Arin.

Funny how long it took adults to get the new name and longer to get the pronoun correct. I was with Arin during his talk with his mom when he realized he was meant to be a boy. Transitioning at the age of 15, being kicked out of his Christian school, cutting his hair to finally feel like the boy he was meant to be, going shopping for boy’s clothes for the first time. They were moments I will forever be grateful I was able to walk with Arin. It gave me insight into his struggle –not the struggle to becoming the gender he had so wished to be, but seeing his struggle for the outside world to understand it. He had the courage of a lion. He was unstoppable in his quest to be his true self. Â

The first time we had a gay couple in our home, two good girlfriends of mine, none of my six kids asked, “Why would two girls kiss? Why do they like each other? Is God going to hate them? Am I going to be gay?” Because kids don’t think like that. Adults just think kids do. Again, my children had no questions. To them, these were just two people who were a couple – two people who cared about each other. They didn’t see gender. No questions were asked yet again. It is mind-boggling, I know.Â

Within the walls of my own home we have four different skin colors, five different nationalities, two different eye colors, six different hair colors (I contribute to three of those hair colors).  Never once have my children asked us why we don’t look like each other. You could say we are like a bag of jelly beans. But the one and only thing those jelly beans have in common is they are all the same shape and we are one family who shares one love.

A little background on how we acquired our special family. We have eight members in our household. My husband and I decided we wanted to adopt as our plan “A” for having a family. We became foster parents as soon as we got married and on our five month wedding anniversary, we brought home a 1-year old little girl and a 3-year old little boy. By our eight month wedding anniversary, we had the privilege of becoming foster parents to a total of six foster children all under the age of 6-years old. We would go on to care for more than 20 foster children over the next several years.Â

Eventually my husband and I were able to adopt six foster children with whom we received the honor of becoming their parents.  Adoption was something that was always close to both my husband’s and my heart.  My husband Jay is Korean and he was also adopted. He had lived in a Korean orphanage until he was 5-years old. He says he doesn’t remember much except three very fundamental truths: being cold, being hungry and feeling alone or scared. He doesn’t remember specific events, only those feelings. It was important to both of us to adopt instead of having our own family the traditional way even though we were able to have our own children.

The world is full of people so why not save a child from abuse or impoverishment instead of birth one? It is a path we wanted.  And as we adopted these children, we also adopted their past. Two of my adoptive sons are therapeutic and emotionally disturbed and have been in treatment for several years. It’s a journey Jay and I will never regret taking.

The two of my children that I previously mentioned, Diamond and Noah, have a very good friend they play with, Madelyn. Madelyn is the most precious 12-year old young girl and she has two prosthetic legs. Madelyn frequently wears shorts with her legs. Probably because it’s comfortable. My two never once ever noticed that her legs were different or even realized that her legs were now stronger than theirs, (she is total a badass,) they just play with her.

The point of this long essay and I hope I still have a few of you with me is this: children don’t see “gay” moments. They don’t notice skin color. They don’t worry about who pees in public restrooms with them.Â

Others that are different from them – from us – only become “different” when WE as parents teach fear, teach our kids that others are wrong and we are right, that others aren’t “normal” but we are, that a person’s shape, size and color is not “normal.” Differences only become a bad thing when parents teach children these things.Â

Love, kindness, empathy and understanding are just so easy to become a part of your children. It happens when you teach your children that we are all just human.Â

I am taking all 6 of my children to see the new Disney movie “Beauty and the Beast.” And I bet they don’t even notice that “gay” moment.  Just a hunch!Â

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Guest author Susan Andrews Hill is the aunt of writer, explorer, outdoorsman, and Colorado resident Arin Allen Andrews, who wrote the 2014 autobiography, “Some Assembly Required: The Not-So-Secret Life of a Transgender Teen.”

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Image by Thomas Hawk via Flickr and a CC license