There Is No “War On Christmas,” Unless You Count The Battle For Christian Supremacy

The Real War is Against Non-Christians

It’s finally (finally!) December and the terribleness that is 2016 is nearly over — but not quite yet. Across the country, folks are pulling their boxes of Christmas decorations out of the basement or the attic, untangling string lights and swearing to themselves they aren’t going to go overboard on the cookies this year. 

Well, most folks are. The rest of us are just sitting here enjoying the twinkling lights and hoping these next few weeks pass pretty quickly.

Christmas isn’t my holiday. I’m very much not a Christian (I’m a decently observant Jew), and aside from a severe jealousy of Christmas lights when I was a kid, I’ve never really been drawn to the holiday. I’ve never really wanted a tree in my house and I’ve never really felt left out. Dec. 25 is just another day for me.

It doesn’t bother me in the slightest — I’m not one of those folks who gets sick of being bombarded by it day in and day out like some of my friends, though I certainly understand their frustrations. 

To be honest, I kind of like how everyone seems to get a little bit nicer this time of year, and not all of the music is bad. “All I Want for Christmas is You” is one of the greatest songs of all time, and more than a few Jewish folks are responsible for the older classics. But acknowledging and accepting that I live in a majority Christian society doesn’t mean I define this as the Christmas season, or that I feel like I’m missing something, or that I care in the slightest whether someone says, “Merry Christmas” or not.

That really pisses some folks off, like America’s least favorite former Congressman, Joe Walsh (pictured): 

For the record, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, atheists, and other non-Christians don’t typically celebrate Christmas. What makes Joe’s tweet art, though, is what he said just a few days earlier: 

Ironically, Joe’s right. There’s no guaranteed protection from being offended, but wow, he’s really offended. But my personal favorite came just last night: 

Aside from being factually incorrect, it’s just absurd. If we take away Christmas at this time of year, you know what we have? Another day, just like any other. Dec. 25 would still exist. No catastrophe would take its place and no one would disappear from the Earth because of it. 

(I suppose I shouldn’t go further without acknowledging the other December holidays, but let’s make something clear: Hanukkah is NOT the Jewish Christmas. That it falls around the same time as Christmas is a fluke. Hanukkah was established before Christmas was on the scene and it has absolutely nothing to do with peace and love and goodwill toward all. In fact, if anyone tells you that Hanukkah is about peace and love and goodwill they have absolutely no idea what they’re talking about. Hanukkah celebrates a bloody insurgency against an oppressive, fascist regime in defense of religious freedom. It’s also incredibly low-ranking in the hierarchy of Jewish holidays.) 

Joe Walsh and his friends aren’t fighting a “War on Christmas.” They’re fighting for Christian supremacy. Just like everyone else who publicly decries the lack of enthusiasm about Christmas, Joe Walsh is a Christian supremacist. Joe Walsh hates real religious freedom. Joe hates that there are other religions and he hates that folks are passionate about beliefs he hasn’t personally approved. 

If folks were truly secure in their religious beliefs we’d never, ever hear the phrase “War on Christmas.” If they truly cared about observing their holiday the best way they know how it wouldn’t matter what their neighbors or anyone else did this time of year. 

If you happen to see me and wish me “Merry Christmas,” more times than not I’ll just smile politely and say, “You, too.” I’ll do the same exact thing if you wish me, “Happy holidays,” “Happy Hanukkah,” or any other seasonal greeting, because unlike Joe Walsh, my faith doesn’t depend on the validation of strangers.

Robbie Medwed is an Atlanta-based LGBTQ activist and writer. He’s never really been interested in joining the War on Christmas but is strongly considering it now just to annoy Joe Walsh. His column appears here weekly. Follow him on Twitter: @rjmedwed