It’s Time for Trans Allies to Drop “Identity” and Just Start Saying “Gender”

Outmoded Term Reinforces Myths, Gives Ammunition to Enemies

For years, we’ve heard the term “gender identity” as shorthand for the transgender experience, and for many of us, that’s seemed to work just fine. Except, I don’t think it really has, and I think it’s time we retire the term and instead just use, “gender.” There are a number of reasons why I think this makes sense, not the least of which (perhaps the most important, really) is that it would follow the lead of my trans friends. 

So what’s the big deal? First, we pretty much never use the term “gender identity” in reference to people who aren’t trans. We almost exclusively use it as a qualifier or stand-in to imply that there’s a “norm” and something that “we’re treating like normal.” It’s not uncomon to hear “women and those whose gender identity is female.” It reinforces the idea that trans women aren’t really women (or trans men aren’t really men), which is harmful and wrong. Either we believe that trans women are women and trans men are men or we don’t, and couching someone who’s trans as only having an “identity” implies we don’t. 

If that’s not a good enough reason for you, consider this: The anti-trans community LOVES the idea of identity as an elaborate game of pretend. Heather Judd, who seems just awful based on her most recent article, turns the entire idea of “identity” into one big predatory joke, claiming to “identify as married” even though her “husband” disagrees. She writes:

Yet while I cannot gain legal recognition as Mrs. X, the law has allowed him to take out a restraining order against me. This kind of legalized discrimination has no basis other than the fact that my relationship identity is different from the one society has assigned me. My heart breaks knowing I am considered a criminal just because other people cannot see as reality what I feel to be true.

I have lost count of how many times I have patiently tried to explain to someone how hurtful it is to use the title “Miss” or even “Ms.” when my preferred relationship status is “Mrs.” Words mean things, and until society learns to align its language with what people feel rather than what appears to be true, words will define me and others in ways that do not allow us to be whatever we want to be.

Judd appropriates the seemingly “inclusive” language chosen by allies and flips it in a blatant show of transphobia and absurdity. Yes, I recognize that she’s terrible and the article is gross, but it represents a very large contingent of the anti-LGBT community, especially those who want to cause trans people harm. 

One of the world’s most famous professional anti-LGBT bigots, Ryan Anderson, shows why the term “gender identity” is problematic when discussing nondiscrimination laws. He says:

These laws tend to be vague and overly broad, lacking clear definitions of what discrimination on the basis of “sexual orientation” and “gender identity” mean and what conduct can and cannot be penalized. These laws would impose ruinous liability on innocent citizens for alleged “discrimination” based on subjective and unverifiable identities, not on objective traits. 

Even those who are trying their best to be inclusive fall into the trap of differentiating between those who were assigned a gender at birth and those who “identify” as one. Many well-meaning cisgender folks like to use phrases like “female-identified” when holding gender-segregated spaces. While the intentions are honorable, we still discount the power of claiming a gender — not as an “identity” but as a fact. If we truly believe that trans women are women, why not just say, “This is a space for any and all women”?

I’d like to challenge those of us who call ourselves accepting and affirming to drop the “identity” of “gender identity” and stick with just “gender.” Yes, we’ll need to work a little harder, but isn’t that a small price to pay to make our friends and family feel safer? Isn’t it worth retraining our brains to help remove one of the targets on their backs? It’s a lot easier than you think it is, and it’s certainly worth it.    

Robbie Medwed is an Atlanta-based LGBT activist and educator. His column appears here weekly. Follow him on Twitter @rjmedwed.