John Kasich Drops Out of Presidential Race, but Not Before Declaring Himself Mankind’s ‘Only Hope’
John Kasich will officially drop out of the Republican presidential race in a speech Wednesday afternoon, and already his campaign has told reporters he is quitting. But just two hours ago, Kasich posted to Twitter a fantastical 90-second video in honor of Star Wars Day, declaring himself mankind’s – or perhaps, just the GOP’s – “only hope.”
In the video, Kasich imagines a future in which President Hillary Clinton has defeated Donald Trump “in the largest landslide since Reagan in 1984,” and “is preparing to name her newest Supreme Court justice Elizabeth Warren,” the iconic Star Wars-inspired scroll begins.
It foresees Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi as “planning new tax hikes” and a Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer rushing them to Clinton’s desk.
“New executive orders restricting the 2nd Amendment are being drafted while increased federal spending on Obamacare is being readied,” it continues.
Sounds pretty good, actually!
Kasich’s exit leaves Donald Trump as the last GOP candidate standing, meaning there’s almost zero chance Trump will not be the Republican Party’s nominee for president.
Meanwhile, Kasich will return as to Ohio as its quizzical Republican governor, claiming he supports LGBT equality while refusing to implement it, being wholly unaware of internationally-known Ohio transgender teen Leelah Alcorn, who died by suicide, and admitting that he thinks people are “probably” born gay but doesn’t “know how it all works.”
At least he’ll never again offend serious women by telling them he doesn’t “have any tickets for Taylor Swift” for them.
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