Bill Maher attacks the far-right religious conservatives Republicans never bothered to properly vet before elevating to “martyr” status.Â
Friday night Bill Maher took conservatives to task for their consistent track record of heralding as saints sinners like anti-gay county clerk Kim Davis, “family values” advocate Josh Duggar, public lands squatter Cliven Bundy, “racist mascot” George Zimmerman, and faux small business owner Joe the Plumber.Â
“Republicans have to stop being surprised when their instant heroes turn out to be embarrassments. They’re so anxious to buddy-up to the forgotten good people that when a Kim Davis or a ‘Joe the Plumber’ or a Cliven Bundy come along, they rush to say, ‘Now here’s a real American,’ when they should be saying, ‘What’s up with this asshole?'”
“Kim Davis turned out to be everything conservatives hate. She gave birth to two children out of wedlock and she’s been married four times. According to her, the answer to ‘What would Jesus do?,’ is, ‘everybody.'”
Maher then turned his attention to the “not so jolly rancher” Cliven Bundy who “wanted to graze his cattle on public lands without paying the fees like everybody else.”
“Sorry, Mr. Bundy,” Maher exclaimed, “if you’re getting your grass from the government for free, then I should get my grass from the government for free,” Maher quipped.
“And, predictably Cliven went off script at a rally and said, quote, ‘I want to tell you one more thing about the Negro.’ And that sentence never ends well, as it didn’t this time when he went on, ‘They abort their children and put their young men in jail because they never learned to pick cotton.’ And that was the end of Open Mic Night at the OK Corral.”
Next up, Maher shined his spotlight on George Zimmerman, “the freelance defender of cul-de-sacs who conservatives insisted was neither racist nor angry, but since his trial, he’s had more contact with the police than Dunkin Donuts.”
Joe the Plumber got his turn too, with Maher mocking him for falsely claiming to be a plumber and a small business owner, and named Joe.Â
Finally, Josh Dugger.
“One of the famed 19 and counting kids, beloved by conservatives for their homespun values, their modest clothing, and their mother’s womb, nicknamed ‘Old Faithful.’ Josh traded on his family’s image to work as a lobbyist for the ultra-conservative Family Research Council. And all of the Republican presidential candidates wanted a picture with him. Until it turned out he had two Ashley Madison accounts, had paid for rough sex with porn stars, and had molested his sisters. Although to be fair, I guess, molesting your sisters could be considered family research.”
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Image: Screenshot via Real Time with Bill Maher/YouTube