Watch: Stephen Colbert Addresses #CancelColbert Twitter Attack In Epic Response

In an epic opening and response segment last night, comedian Stephen Colbert addressed this weekend’s social media storm in which Twitter activists demanded his network #CancelColbert.

It was Colbert’s first show since a Twitter account controlled by Comedy Central tweeted the punch line — out of context — to a joke many complained was racist.

In a follow up segment, Colbert explained the events.

“Internet equality is more important than ever, as I learned this weekend,” the host of the Colbert Report stated, “when the inter webs tried to swallow me whole.”

“The dark forces trying to silence my message of core conservative principles — mixed with youth-friendly product placement — have been thwarted,” Colbert, in deadpan sarcastic character, reported, while drinking a Bud Light Lime beer.

Colbert was forced to explain that the Stephen Colbert people see on TV “is a character. He is not me,” the actor/pundit told his audience. “This is the real Stephen Colbert, I mean everything I say on this show,” he added — for comedic effect.

He then explained what happened last week, concluding that “when the twit hit the fan, the brain trust over at my network took the tweet down, because that’s how the Internet works. You can take stuff down, and no one will ever know it happened. Just ask Mayor Weiner.”

“I don’t even see race,” Colbert added. “Not even my own. People tell me I’m white, and I believe them because I just devoted six minutes to explaining how I’m not a racist. And that is about the whitest thing you can do.”

In an extremely kind gesture, Colbert actually defended his attacker, Suey Park, whom, he said, “has been viciously attacked on Twitter, and if anyone is doing that for me, I want you to stop right now. She’s just speaking her mind, and that’s what Twitter is for, as well as ruining the end of every show I haven’t seen yet.”

Colbert also lamented about the “most hurtful” part of the incident, that “my fellow conservatives abandoned me in my time of need. Like Michelle Malkin, who co-signed onto #CancelColbert and called me a coward. Now this cuts deep, especially since I learned everything I know about sensitivity to the Asian-American experience from reading Michelle’s 2004 book, ‘In Defense of Internment.’ It turns out, they had it coming. One less thing for me to feel guilty about.”

(And yes, In Defense of Internment: The Case for Racial Profiling in World War II and the War on Terror is a real book written by professional hater Michelle Malkin.)

After explaining the entire incident, Colbert added:

“To recap: A web editor I’ve never met posts a tweet in my name on an account I don’t control, outrages a hashtag activist, and the news media get 72 hours of content. The system worked,” Colbert quipped. “Who would have thought a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstandings?”

Colbert concluded by taking a veiled stab at Bill O’Reilly, who recently, actually compared himself to Jesus. “So in a sense, I was canceled for three days – just like Jesus.”

Watch both:

Transcript hat tip: The Raw Story