The Making Of ‘A Better Life’ – A Coming Out Story

I always wanted to be a professional singer. In fact, when I was four years old my parents would ask me a question and I would sing them an answer.  The arts are just in my blood.  But during my teenage years I found that the conservative Christian upbringing I had told me there was something broken about me.  Maybe it was shame, maybe fear, I’m not sure, but the burden of being gay pushed me into Music Ministry work instead of following my dreams.  I felt like I had to pay some penance for my “sin” and shame.

I went to college, got a music degree, and was immediately working full time in the church.  I poured my shame and my guilt into my work.  Every day I would wake up and beg God to free me from this burden before I got caught and lost everything.  I felt like a fugitive living in the enemy’s camp.

I never knew who told the pastor or what happened exactly.  What I do know is that I walked into a regular staff meeting on a Monday evening and it was just the pastor, the head deacon, and myself.  What followed was an interrogation that eventually led to one question: Am I gay?  It’s amazing how life can sometimes balance on such a small point.  I knew the ramifications of my actions but I couldn’t live with this secret pain any longer.  In a small, timid voice I said, “yes, I’m gay”, forever changing the course of my life.

It was then I had to tell my parents.  I thought it was better for them to hear it from me than from someone else.  My father asked the normal questions: “Why choose this lifestyle?”, “Don’t you realize it’s an abomination to everything God is?”, and all I could say was, “I’m tired of fighting who I am”.  My father said at that point that he could not condone me living this way in his home.  He asked me to leave and not come back until I had a change of heart.  For the first time in my life I had stood my ground as a gay person in the midst of an ultra conservative world of repression and guilt about sexuality.  I had risen above the waters and finally was honest with who I really am.  But life is tradeoffs and in the process I lost everything that I had worked so hard for.  I lost my career as a Music Minister, I lost my family, and, at the time, I lost myself. At this point I felt abandoned without a direction to go, slowly seeing my life fade away without purpose.  Finding I was still alive and the sky had not fallen I began to build a new life from the ashes.  I’ve learned that when you come to the place where everything you know is lost, it’s there you can begin to build a new foundation.

 It was during this time that I struggled with my faith.  How could I accept a God who so clearly hated me?  What kind of God was willing to make my parents turn away from me in disgust and my employers fire me without recourse?  I had believed the lies that I was broken for so long I finally realized how much they had taken ahold in my life.  It took years for me to not only say I’m gay, but also to accept that is how God created me.  I noticed many people in the gay community that are burned by the church so badly that they never pursue the idea of faith, in any form, ever again.  I made it a personal mission to not let my spirituality be defined by the choices of others.  I’m not saying I have it all figured out, I still question everyday, but I don’t let my homosexuality come between myself and a relationship with God.

Eventually, in spite of being gay, I began to work at a church again part time and begin to heal the wounds.  Over and over I would ask my father to come and see me lead worship again at a church and see how I’m affecting lives in spite of being gay.  He always said he couldn’t because he had obligations at his own church.  Until one day he mentioned that he was going to miss church to work on a Sunday morning because of the workload at the time.  I said, “You would miss church to work but you won’t miss to see your son?” and I walked out.  It was in this moment that he realized I was walking out the door and never coming back.  His second and possibly last chance at reconciliation with his son was gone.  He finally understood that it was his bigotry, his societal perception, which made him so antagonistic against gay people.  Not his religious beliefs.  He finally understood what it meant to unconditionally love people.

 My dad ran me down and we talked for over an hour in the doorway of the building he worked in.  It was over the next hour and a half in that doorway that we would begin to mend a relationship broken by years of shame, judgment and misunderstanding.  Since then we have bonded more than we ever thought possible.

In my hour of greatest need I felt I had nowhere to turn; all too often this is the case for LGBT people and their families. It was my realization of this – that I was not alone in my struggle – that inspired me to take action.  I decided to make a feature film to talk about this unique take on a coming of age story. The process of making this movie has brought my father and I even closer together over the last year. to the point where he is a third owner of my film company.

A Better Life depicts the fallout of these events through a fictional narrative inspired by my real life experiences. The film’s message is that “It’s not the adversities we face in life, it’s how we respond to them that makes us who we are”.  It’s a character-driven film that does not shy away from the ugliness of the situation, but also serves to shine a light on the beauty that can be found in even the darkest times.  With constant reminders of the horrible things being done to gay people around the world in places like Russia and Uganda, it is important to me that this film expresses the possibility of grace and redemption.

The target date for the release of A Better Life is December 2015, but I need all the support I can get. My story isn’t just something I’ve experienced. You may very well know someone who has been through the same things or maybe you have been through these trials yourself. This is our opportunity to make a difference. I invite you to visit our website and consider joining the project.

 I know what it is like to live without hope, and I would never wish that on anyone.  My story isn’t just something I’ve experienced and I feel like It’s my opportunity to make a difference. To show the world what unconditional love truly is. If nothing else, by seeing this movie I hope that a teenage LGBT person can come to know that they are not alone and that there are people who can help them along this journey. As my dad said recently, “If I can change, the world can change.”

Matt is originally from Chattanooga, Tennessee and moved to Winter Park, Florida to pursue a secondary bachelor’s degree in Film at Full Sail University. In spring 2014 Matt was accepted into the American Film Institute Conservatory’s Masters of Cinematography program; he will begin school there fall 2014.  Matt has been involved with multiple aspects of the media industry including radio production, video and print mass media creation for churches, cinematic and commercial film work, and producing both weekly live production as well as larger dramatic productions in area churches. He also works as a professional singer at local area events and churches.

While attending Full Sail University, Matt worked on many short and feature length films and is an aspiring Cinematographer. From his learning experience at Full Sail University he is now a working Director of Photography in the Orlando area.

You can contact Matt at bridgethedivide@gmail.com