Colbert: Scalia Has Been Thinking About Lesbian ‘Throuples’ Since 2003 (Video)

Stephen Colbert last night took on the religious right’s obsession with a lesbian threesome in Massachusetts who claim they are married. When the news of the “throuple” was published last week, almost immediately, NOM, the National Organization For Marriage, Fox News’ Todd Starnes, and many, many others on the right used the trio to “prove” the slippery slope of same-sex marriage leading to polygamy. 

“It’s Adam and Eve, not Madam and Eve — and Sheila,” Colbert warned.

The “throuple,” Colbert quipped, is “an affront to traditional threesomes, which is a wedge that drives straight couples apart after what was supposed to be a fun birthday present inevitably leads to crying whenever someone hears the name ‘Stacy.’”

“Now, you might be saying to yourself, why am I reporting on this?,” Colbert posited. “Well, because ‘throuplehood’ is clearly an epidemic spreading from Massachusetts to several articles about this happening in Massachusetts.”

“It’s all the fault of gay marriage. I agree with Fox News contributor and definitely-not-a-lesbian Todd Starnes,” Colbert continued, “who recently Facebooked, ‘When you redefine marriage — it’s anything goes.’ And with the Washington Times editorial board, who recently editorialed, ‘this was foretold…when the Supreme Court eviscerated authentic marriage last year.”

“Yes, three lesbians together was foretold by the Supreme Court — and the entire porn industry.”

“For the record, the warnings did not start just last year,” Colbert said. “Antonin Scalia was thinking about three lesbians way back in 2003 when he dissented in Lawrence v. Texas, which struck down Texas’s anti-sodomy law, saying the ruling ‘called into question…state laws against bigamy, same-sex marriage, adult incest, prostitution, masturbation, adultery, fornication, bestiality, and obscenity.’”

“Yes,” Colbert cautioned. “It’s a slippery slope: sodomy leads to gay marriage, which leads to ‘throupling,’ which inevitably leads to ‘threestriality,’ ‘five-nication,’ and whatever word they come up with for one dude and ten snakes in a box. I’m going to say, ‘hissyfit’?”

Watch:  

Hat tip: The Raw Story