Marcus Bachmann may be receiving even more attention than his addled wife, Michele, for his anti-gay comments, for calling gays “barbarians” that need “discipline,” and some gays, it seems, are fighting back — by calling Marcus Bachmann “gay.” Mr. Bachmann, some think, has certain effeminate characteristics, has made statements that some think reveal a latent homosexuality, and certainly might fit a profile of extreme-homophobes — such as George Rekers — who get caught in homosexual or same-sex sexual incidents.

READ: 10 Questions Bachmann’s Husband Must Answer About “Christian Counseling”

But, absent any proof, or circumstantial evidence, is it OK to call Marcus Bachmann “gay?,” as if it were a bad thing? Isn’t that what the LGBT community has fought against for decades, and more recently, effectively, with campaigns such as the It Gets Better project, GLSEN and the Ad Council’s 2009 ad campaign from thinkb4youspeak.com, “That’s So Gay,” and all the anti-bullying initiatives that have finally been embraced by the federal government?

Right-wing extremists recently have turned the tables on our community, claiming they are “victims,” that gays are “bullies,” and guilty of “hate crimes.” Doesn’t calling Marcus Bachmann “gay,” because he may sound a bit effeminate, feed into their anti-gay hatred meme?

I don’t know if Marcus Bachmann is gay — and neither do you. If he is, the media one day will uncover evidence and he will reach the depths of disgrace, joining the ranks of Ted Haggard, George Rekers, Bishop Eddie Long, etc., etc., etc.

Now, let me be clear: Marcus Bachmann deserves to be vilified — for his anti-gay bigotry and hatred, for mixing his special blend of “Christian counseling” and claiming it’s therapy, for using and possibly mis-using state and federal funds for his Bachmann and Associates business, for even trying to turn people straight who are gay, for his 2005 presentation, titled, “The Truth About the Homosexual Agenda,” which culminated in three people claiming Bachmann had “cured” their homosexuality.

But when gay people and our allies start calling someone gay because he speaks with a lisp, or walks “funny,” or dances “strangely,” how are we any better than the school yard bullies — or the right wing extremists — who use the word “gay,” as a slur, like “f*g,” or the “n” word, or other ethnic or minority-focused rhetoric?

WATCH: Bachmann’s Radical Beliefs A Liability With General Public

Gaydar, which runs an iPhone app, the purpose of which I have no idea, today offered Marcus Bachmann “a complimentary lifetime membership.” Their Gaydar blog states,

“As a rep at Gaydar HQ explains, “Marcus Bachmann is popping up on everyone else’s gaydar, we figure he might want to be on the real Gaydar!”

I don’t think that’s funny. I do think it reinforces old stereotypes and those who do so put old kids even more at risk. When it’s one by those in our community, I am truly ashamed.

Stonewall DFL Chair David Joseph DeGrio, speaking for himself, said to the Minnesota Independent, “I don’t view saying that someone’s gay is a negative thing, but I believe that perceived sexuality was being used as an attack on Marcus Bachmann, and I find it unacceptable to use perceived sexuality as an attack on anybody.”

“The message I see it sending is a bit hypocritical because we’re advocating for policies in schools to stop this exact thing, saying someone’s effeminate or someone speaks with a high-pitched voice or even [saying] someone is gay because this a gay characteristic,” DeGrio said.

The Independent also published a Facebook note DeGrio wrote, which states in part,

“In the past week I’ve had several people, including some from the LGBT activist community, make comments mocking the perceived sexuality of Marcus Bachmann. I find this completely unacceptable. Think about the terrible example being set for kids who overhear such intimations about Marcus Bachmann.

“We oppose this exact kind of mockery and bullying in the schools because kids commit suicide over these exact same jokes and perceptions.

“If, by some chance, Marcus Bachmann is living a lie we should have compassion and understanding. We know what it’s like to live each day hiding truth and fearing discovery by others.”

That last part goes too far for my taste — if Marcus Bachmann is gay, he deserves to be vilified and excoriated until his final day for the harm he has done to the LGBT community. Heck, he deserves it anyway, but more so if he’s been attacking the very people for who they are if he’s one of us.

DeGrio told The New Civil Rights Movement, “I want to reiterate that I have no problem attacking [Marcus Bachmann’s] bigotry, homophobia and clinical practices, he should be challenged. But people also must acknowledge that not all virulent homophobes are closet cases, some people are just bigots.

“I do have a problem assuming, based upon mannerisms, that he’s gay or bi. As an LGBT activist I constantly fight against stereotype-based labels because not all gays are the same. Making an assumption based upon pitch of voice, body language or looks is what leads to kids being called ‘faggot’ or ‘dyke’ on a daily basis. As an educator I try to set a better example for the youth in our society.”

It’s not OK to make ad hominen attacks on Bachmann — or anyone else.

Attack the Marcus Bachmanns of this world for being ignorant. Attack them for being bigots. Attack them for literally causing people harm. Attack them for being unable to make rational, objective decisions about people. Attack them for their anti-gay hatred masked by a veil of religion and traditional morals. Attack them becuse they should know better.

But don’t attack them for the very thing we recoil at — being attacked for being gay — especially when you don’t know if they are. That makes us no better than they are.