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I Am The Leader Of The Republican Party, And So Can You!

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The Colbert ReportMon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
The Word – Army of One

http://media.mtvnservices.com/mgid:cms:item:comedycentral.com:217823

 

 

There seems to be a huge identity crisis over at the GOP. It’s not really clear who anyone is!

Take Rush Limbaugh. (Please!) Rush Limbaugh is a conservative political commentator. He is a radio talk show host. He is not, contrary to what Keith Olbermann says, a comedian. How do we know? Because Rush Limbaugh said so: “Here I am. Who — who am I? I am a radio talk show host. I am a kid from Missouri who wanted to be on the radio.”

Yet, lots of folks think Rush Limbaugh is the leader of the Republican Party! 

Take Michael Steele. Michael Steele is the chairman of the Republican National Committee. (You’ll have to take my word for it. The GOP’s web site is a little out of date.) 

Saturday, talking to D.L. Hughley, Michael Steele said he thinks Rush Limbaugh is an entertainer. (Some may find Limbaugh entertaining, but he is not an entertainer.) Well, then today, Michael Steele took it back!

Meanwhile, Rush said:

“I’m not in charge of the Republican Party, and I don’t want to be. I would be embarrassed to say that I’m in charge of the Republican Party in the sad-sack state that it’s in. If I were chairman of the Republican Party, given the state that it’s in, I would quit. I might get out the hari-kari knife because I would have presided over a failure that is embarrassing to the Republicans and conservatives who have supported it and invested in it all these years.”

Excellent!

It’s not really clear who anyone is! After all, wasn’t Sarah Palin in charge just a few months ago? And up until his response to Obama’s address last Tuesday, some thought Bobby Jundal was in charge. (BTW, over the weekend they voted to have Mitt Romney – you remember Mitt? – be the frontrunner in 2012. Sarah Palin tied for fourth place. That’s change I can believe in.)

What is especially clear is that no one knows who the leader of the Republican Party is. (Lots of folks think it should still be John McCain.) (No one thinks it should be George W. Bush.)

Now, what better time to start a coup than when there’s mass confusion! After all, no one in the GOP knows who’s in charge, what they want, what they stand for. The timing is perfect!

Just look at Michael Steele. (Remember, he’s the chairman of  the Republican Party, the GOP.) Just days after taking office Steele said his party must do a better job of courting candidates and voters who support gay marriage and are pro-choice. 

Them just three weeks later, Steele, when asked about civil unions for gays, said,

“No, no no. What would we do that for? What are you, crazy? No. Why would we backslide on a core, founding value of this country? I mean this isn’t something that you just kind of like, “Oh well, today I feel, you know, loosey-goosey on marriage.”

See? Confusion! Even the supposed head of the party doesn’t know where it stands! 

And Steele, in a desperate attempt to remind people who’s in charge, had this little chat with CNN’s D.L. Hughley Saturday:

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/9KL46KE51BY&hl=en&fs=1

I’m telling you, now is the time to grab the reins and become the leader of the GOP. Everyone’s doing it! (I’m still laughing at that Michael “I’m the leader of the Republican Party” Steele!) 

Now look at Rush. He’s really throwing us for a loop. Why, just Saturday, he gave the “keynote address” at CPAC – The Conservative Political Action Convention. Let’s take a listen. (And, just ignore that stuff about Rush comparing himself to God.)

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/CGBTJNkdkws&hl=en&fs=1

Pretty cool, huh? Rush isn’t the leader of the Republican Party. He’s God! We know ’cause he said so. And that means that the leadership IS up for grabs. I’m telling you, I’m gong for it.

Now, I know what you’re saying. “David, you’re a Democrat. You’re a Progressive. You’re a Liberal. You’re gay.” Well, that’s what’s really great! Because, according to Rush, none of that matters anymore! The GOP is embracing me! Listen to God, um, I mean Rush, some more:

http://www.youtube-nocookie.com/v/A5iOnLQH1ao&hl=en&fs=1

Here’s more of Rush!

“Let me tell you who we conservatives are:  We love people. [Applause] When we look out over the United States of America, when we are anywhere, when we see a group of people, such as this or anywhere, we see Americans. We see human beings. We don’t see groups. We don’t see victims. We don’t see people we want to exploit. What we see — what we see is potential. We do not look out across the country and see the average American, the person that makes this country work. We do not see that person with contempt. We don’t think that person doesn’t have what it takes. We believe that person can be the best he or she wants to be if certain things are just removed from their path like onerous taxes, regulations and too much government.”

That cinches it right there! The Republicans aren’t going to exploit gays! We’re human beings! We’re not a group, we’re potential! As a matter of fact, even gays would be better if there were less taxes! (Maybe if there were less taxes, gays could get married!)

Here are some more quotes from Rush’s speech:

“We recognize that we are all individuals.” (And gays are really individuals – who, I guess can get married!)

“We don’t want to tell anybody how to live.” (So, if you’re gay, that’s now OK!)

“We love the people of this country.” (Including gays!)

See how great this is? Now, this for me is the statement that is making me switch parties and grab the leadership:

“We don’t hate anybody. We don’t — I mean, the racism in this country, if you ask me, I know many people in this audience — let me deal with this head on. You know what the cliche is, a conservative: racist, sexist, bigot, homophobe. Excuse me, ladies and gentlemen of America, if you were paying attention, I know you were, the racism in our culture was exclusively and fully on display in the Democrat primary last year.”

Perfect! They don’t hate anyone. Conservatives aren’t homophobes or bigots. So, I guess then gays can get married! After all, Conservatives don’t want to tell us how to live. As a matter of fact, at the very end of his speech, God, whoops, I mean Rush, says, 

“Don’t measure your success by how many people like you. Just worry about how they vote. And then at the end of the day how they live, but that’s really none of your business once they close the doors.”

And there you have it folks. It’s no body’s business what happens behind closed doors. Rush said so.

Before he gets back from telling another ‘Larry King dies’ joke, I’m going to step up, grab the reins, and become the leader of the Republican Party. Why not? Everyone’s doing it!

I’m the leader of the Republican Party, and so can you.

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News

Justices Slam Trump Lawyer: ‘Why Is It the President Would Not Be Required to Follow the Law?’

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1 hour ago

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April 25, 2024

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Justices on the U.S. Supreme Court hearing Donald Trump’s claim of absolute immunity early on appeared at best skeptical, were able to get his attorney to admit personal criminal acts can be prosecuted, appeared to skewer his argument a president must be impeached and convicted before he can be criminally prosecuted, and peppered him with questions exposing what some experts see is the apparent weakness of his case.

Legal experts appeared to believe, based on the Justices’ questions and statements, Trump will lose his claim of absolute presidential immunity, and may remand the case back to the lower court that already ruled against him, but these observations came during Justices’ questioning of Trump attorney John Sauer, and before they questioned the U.S. Dept. of Justice’s Michael Dreeben.

“I can say with reasonable confidence that if you’re arguing a case in the Supreme Court of the United States and Justices Alito and Sotomayor are tag-teaming you, you are going to lose,” noted attorney George Conway, who has argued a case before the nation’s highest court and obtained a unanimous decision.

But some are also warning that the justices will delay so Special Counsel Jack Smith’s prosecution of Trump will not take place before the November election.

READ MORE: ‘To Do God Knows What’: Local Elections Official Reads Lara Trump the Riot Act

“This argument still has a ways to go,” observed UCLA professor of law Rick Hasen, one of the top election law scholars in the county. “But it is easy to see the Court (1) siding against Trump on the merits but (2) in a way that requires further proceedings that easily push this case past the election (to a point where Trump could end this prosecution if elected).”

The Economist’s Supreme Court reporter Steven Mazie appeared to agree: “So, big picture: the (already slim) chances of Jack Smith actually getting his 2020 election-subversion case in front of a jury before the 2024 election are dwindling before our eyes.”

One of the most stunning lines of questioning came from Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, who said, “If someone with those kinds of powers, the most powerful person in the world with the greatest amount of authority, could go into Office knowing that there would be no potential penalty for committing crimes. I’m trying to understand what the disincentive is, from turning the Oval Office into, you know, the seat of criminal activity in this country.”

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She also warned, “If the potential for criminal liability is taken off the table, wouldn’t there be a significant risk that future presidents would be emboldened to commit crimes with abandon while they’re in office? It’s right now the fact that we’re having this debate because, OLC [Office of Legal Counsel] has said that presidents might be prosecuted. Presidents, from the beginning of time have understood that that’s a possibility. That might be what has kept this office from turning into the kind of crime center that I’m envisioning, but once we say, ‘no criminal liability, Mr. President, you can do whatever you want,’ I’m worried that we would have a worse problem than the problem of the president feeling constrained to follow the law while he’s in office.”

“Why is it as a matter of theory,” Justice Jackson said, “and I’m hoping you can sort of zoom way out here, that the president would not be required to follow the law when he is performing his official acts?”

“So,” she added later, “I guess I don’t understand why Congress in every criminal statute would have to say and the President is included. I thought that was the sort of background understanding that if they’re enacting a generally applicable criminal statute, it applies to the President just like everyone else.”

Another critical moment came when Justice Elena Kagan asked, “If a president sells nuclear secrets to a foreign adversary, is that immune?”

Professor of law Jennifer Taub observed, “This is truly a remarkable moment. A former U.S. president is at his criminal trial in New York, while at the same time the U.S. Supreme Court is hearing his lawyer’s argument that he should be immune from prosecution in an entirely different federal criminal case.”

Watch the videos above or at this link.

READ MORE: ‘Blood on Your Hands’: Tennessee Republicans OK Arming Teachers After Deadly School Shooting

 

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News

‘To Do God Knows What’: Local Elections Official Reads Lara Trump the Riot Act

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3 hours ago

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April 25, 2024

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The county clerk for Ingham County, Michigan blasted Republican National Committee co-chair Lara Trump after the ex-president’s daughter-in-law bragged the RNC will have people to “physically handle” voters’ ballots in polling locations across the country this November.

“We now have the ability at the RNC not just to have poll watchers, people standing in polling locations, but people who can physically handle the ballots,” Trump told Newsmax host Eric Bolling this week, as NCRM reported.

“Will these people, will they be allowed to physically handle the ballots as well, Lara?” Bolling asked.

“Yup,” Trump replied.

Marc Elias, the top Democratic elections attorney who won 63 of the 64 lawsuits filed by the Donald Trump campaign in the 2020 election cycle (the one he did not win was later overturned), corrected Lara Trump.

READ MORE: ‘I Hope You Find Happiness’: Moskowitz Trolls Comer Over Impeachment Fail

“Poll observers are NEVER permitted to touch ballots. She is suggesting the RNC will infiltrate election offices,” Elias warned on Wednesday.

Barb Byrum, a former Michigan Democratic state representative with a law degree and a local hardware store, is the Ingham County Clerk, and thus the chief elections official for her county. She slammed Lara Trump and warned her the RNC had better not try to touch any ballots in her jurisdiction.

“I watched your video, and it’s riveting stuff. But if you think you’ll be touching ballots in my state, you’ve got another thing coming,” Byrum told Trump in response to the Newsmax interview.

“First and foremost, precinct workers, clerks, and voters are the only people authorized to touch ballots. For example, I am the County Clerk, and I interact with exactly one voted ballot: My own,” Byrum wrote, launching a lengthy series of social media posts educating Trump.

“Election inspectors are hired by local clerks in Michigan and we hire Democrats and Republicans to work in our polling places. We’re required by law to do so,” she continued. “In large cities and townships, the local clerks train those workers. In smaller cities and townships, that responsibility falls to County Clerks, like me.”

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She explained, “precinct workers swear an oath to uphold the Constitution of the United States and the Constitution of the State of Michigan.”

“Among the provisions in the Michigan Constitution is the right to a secret ballot for our voters,” she added.

Byrum also educated Trump on her inaccurate representation of the consent decree, which was lifted by a court, not a judge’s death, as Lara Trump had claimed.

“It’s important for folks to understand what you’re talking about: The end of a consent decree that was keeping the RNC from intimidating and suppressing voters (especially in minority-majority areas).”

“With that now gone, you’re hoping for the RNC to step up their game and get people that you train to do god-knows what into the polling places.”

Byrum also warned Trump: “If election inspectors are found to be disrupting the process of an orderly election OR going outside their duties, local clerks are within their rights to dismiss them immediately.”

“So if you intend to train these 100,000 workers to do anything but their sacred constitutional obligation, they’ll find themselves on the curb faster than you can say ‘election interference.'”

READ MORE: ‘Blood on Your Hands’: Tennessee Republicans OK Arming Teachers After Deadly School Shooting

 

 

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OPINION

‘I Hope You Find Happiness’: Moskowitz Trolls Comer Over Impeachment Fail

Published

20 hours ago

on

April 24, 2024

By

U.S. Rep. Jared Moskowitz (D-FL) is mocking House Oversight Committee Chairman Jim Comer over a CNN report revealing the embattled Kentucky Republican who has been alleging without proof President Joe Biden is the head of a vast multi-million dollar criminal bribery and influence-peddling conspiracy, has given up trying to impeach the leader of the free world.

CNN on Wednesday had reported, “after 15 months of coming up short in proving some of his biggest claims against the president, Comer recently approached one of his Republican colleagues and made a blunt admission: He was ready to be ‘done with’ the impeachment inquiry into Biden.” The news network described Chairman Comer as “frustrated” and his investigation as “at a dead end.”

One GOP lawmaker told CNN, “Comer is hoping Jesus comes so he can get out.”

“He is fed up,” the Republican added.

Despite the Chairman’s alleged remarks, “a House Oversight Committee spokesperson maintains that ‘the impeachment inquiry is ongoing and impeachment is 100% still on the table.'”

RELATED: ‘Used by the Russians’: Moskowitz Mocks Comer’s Biden Impeachment Failure

Last week, Oversight Committee Ranking Member Jamie Raskin (D-MD) got into a shouting match with Chairman Comer, with the Maryland Democrat saying, “You have not identified a single crime – what is the crime that you want to impeach Joe Biden for and keep this nonsense going?” and Comer replying, “You’re about to find out.”

Before those heated remarks, Congressman Raskin chided Comer, humorously threatening to invite Rep. Moskowitz to return to the hearing.

Congressman Moskowitz appears to be the only member of the House Oversight Committee who has ever made a motion to call for a vote on impeaching President Biden, which he did last month, although he did it to ridicule Chairman Comer.

It appears the Moskowitz-Comer “bromance” may be over.

Wednesday afternoon Congressman Moskowitz, whose sarcasm is becoming well-known, used it to ridicule Chairman Comer.

“I was hoping our breakup would never become public,” he declared. “We had such a great thing while it lasted James. I will miss the time we spent together. I will miss our conversations. I will miss the pet names you gave me. I only wish you the best and hope you find happiness.”

Watch the video above or at this link.

READ MORE: ‘Doesn’t Care if Pregnant Women Live or Die’: Alito Slammed Over Emergency Abortion Remarks

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