Few celebrations match the magnitude, majesty and simplicity of the 4th of July. Traveling the world, experiencing the pride of other nations, and still, I am always brought back to the mystical nature of the sway and hold that this weekend has on Americans. There is a light that shines in each person as they experience a pride and stalwart attachment to a history, no matter how revisionist or one sided, that fuels a belief that things can always be improved.
This very same weekend my home, Canada, celebrated its birthday as well, not as an entity or commonwealth, but as nation formed from discourse and belief, rather than faith and battle. It is this very distinction that often puts Canadians and Americans at odds over seemingly simple issues. Where America has often had a “rollercoaster†ride towards all monumental shifts, whether it is an end to slavery or the civil rights movement, this country has felt the full power of faith and the battle for where that faith is placed. Canada has often grown much like the quiet child in school, through observing and allowing ideas to positively foment within society.
Today marks the beginning of celebrations of our nations’ births as well as the bringing to a close of Pride month. As a displaced Canadian gay man, I am left at an interesting place. While my friends celebrate the 30th Anniversary of Pride Toronto and the 6th since full federal marriage and immigration equality, I am celebrating my first 4th of July, with my American partner, in a country where at any moment I may face deportation and the ruination of a family that we have built out of love and devotion.
It all too often reminds me of the amazing differences that I never thought about, or even knew existed between LGBT communities on either side of the border. Americans would come by the thousands, perhaps millions, each year to celebrate the openness, national community and yes, even to be married. Now I sit on the other side of that border dreaming of things that I foolishly took for granted. “We are basically the same! It can’t be that bad in the U.S. …†I’d say to many a visitor.
Things are the same and yet are that bad. We are both peoples born out of a motherland that we modeled ourselves after, attempting to maintain the decorum and sense of tradition, keeping alive our history with fierce pride and dignity. It is no wonder that we have seen some amazing victories and become close allies, much like siblings, loving each other and yet looking with confusion at some of the clothing (outward) choices that the other makes. Canadians still wonder why DOMA is around, why LGBT persons were not allowed (and for trans people still are not) to serve openly, the religious mouthpieces are given the time and stages to spread hate, or why your politicians are rarely kept accountable for the deceit and games played all too regularly.
Even greater still is the skeptical vision that gays have of the U.S. system. We have those who will actually attempt to seek asylum or refugee status from the U.S. (their country of birth) due to the fear and inability to live a life openly and “normal†as their families do.
I hope to take this 4th of July and attach a belief that things will get better, that we can hold our politicians accountable to everything they say and hopefully bring about the change in my lifetime that will level a playing field for every one of those who have been trampled for being who they are, how they were born, ultimately whom they love. I want to feel that fuel and ensuing fire you all have the joy to grasp onto as you begin a new year from this point fighting for equality.
At the end of the day, we are all simply human… creatures of the earth… energy that flows to others…
Except if you are gay…
To (mis)quote one of my favourite Canadian commercials, “I am gay! I love my country!â€
It is true that I love my new home, family and country… I only hope to bring to every discussion, argument, fight and protest the openness I was raised with, to allow good thoughts to foment to the top, bringing peace of mind… That I will love my husband forever, never fearing that will be turned away.
Happy Canada Day! Happy Pride! Happy 4th of July! Happy Birthday, America!
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Growing up in Northern Ontario as a Jehovah’s Witness, Michael Talon experienced firsthand the struggle for equality. Now living in the U.S. with his partner, they work with advocates for federal equality, including immigration. Working side by side, Michael and his partner Brad, head of Luna Media Group, help to deliver messages for equality to the nation.