Cynthia Nixon, the Sex and the City star who for the past two weeks has made headlines for claiming that being gay was a choice, has decided to do the right thing and “clarify” her comments. Nixon now says that while she believes we all the the right to tell out own stories in our own ways, she acknowledges she is bisexual and that being bisexual — or, gay for that matter — is not a choice.
“My recent comments in The New York Times were about me and my personal story of being gay,” Nixon told The Advocate in an exclusive statement. “I believe we all have different ways we came to the gay community and we can’t and shouldn’t be pigeon-holed into one cultural narrative which can be uninclusive and disempowering. However, to the extent that anyone wishes to interpret my words in a strictly legal context I would like to clarify:
“While I don’t often use the word, the technically precise term for my orientation is bisexual. I believe bisexuality is not a choice, it is a fact. What I have ‘chosen’ is to be in a gay relationship.
“As I said in the Times and will say again here, I do, however, believe that most members of our community — as well as the majority of heterosexuals — cannot and do not choose the gender of the persons with whom they seek to have intimate relationships because, unlike me, they are only attracted to one sex.
“Our community is not a monolith, thank goodness, any more than America itself is. I look forward to and will continue to work toward the day when America recognizes all of us as full and equal citizens.”
In a lengthy profile with the Times, Nixon, who is currently starring in Wit on Broadway, had said two weeks ago,
“I gave a speech recently, an empowerment speech to a gay audience, and it included the line ‘I’ve been straight and I’ve been gay, and gay is better.’ And they tried to get me to change it, because they said it implies that homosexuality can be a choice. And for me, it is a choice. I understand that for many people it’s not, but for me it’s a choice, and you don’t get to define my gayness for me. A certain section of our community is very concerned that it not be seen as a choice, because if it’s a choice, then we could opt out. I say it doesn’t matter if we flew here or we swam here, it matters that we are here and we are one group and let us stop trying to make a litmus test for who is considered gay and who is not.”
LGBT advocates to varying degrees took issue with her statement, in large part because it played into the hands of the radical and religious right, but others were not as upset, including New York Times op-ed columnist Frank Bruni, yesterday, and the Huffington Post’s Tracy Baim.
But long-time LGBT activist and blogger John Aravosis, in my opinion, rightly, came down against Nixon, for the most important reasons, the legal ones, which Nixon alluded to in her clarification, above.
Aravosis quotes an L.A. Times op-ed:
Historically, though, one of the criteria for such groups is that they must be a minority because of an unchangeable characteristic. If, as Nixon says, sexual preference can be a choice, then couldn’t gays and lesbians simply “choose” otherwise?
Then writes,
No one is saying that she’s going to be quoted in a court case. They are saying, however, that her argument, were it more widely adopted by the gay community, just might cut us out of civil rights victories at the judicial level because we’d be admitting (false, I might add) that our sexual orientation is not “immutable.”
And that’s the problem, and, I believe, why Nixon clarified her comments.
Nixon has for the past few years worked hard for the LGBT community. I’m glad she chose to do the right thing here as well.
No one gets to define our “gayness,” as Nixon said. But it’s also important that no one give false ammunition to our detractors.
Is gay a choice? I don’t believe so. If it were, would it be wrong? Absolutely not.
But we’re trying to achieve equality, and words matter, both in court and in the court of public opinion.
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