Can you believe this? Welcome to the America of the twenty-first century, where we need to know the sexual orientation of, well, everyone. The fact that this is even “news” is, well, ridiculous. Honestly, as I said before, I don’t think we have a “right to know,” unless someone’s done something against the LGBTQ community. Which, Kagan has not.
And surely no one is suggesting that a Supreme Court justice, whether gay or straight, closeted or not, could not rule on any case, say, a Prop 8 trial, without emotional interference from being gay or straight, closeted or not, right? Because we heard those accusations in the 1950s, and they are unacceptable.
So, yesterday, in, “So, Is Kagan Gay?” I detailed the massive hunt for Kagan’s gayness or straightness, from none other than the gay blogosphere, including none other than Andrew Sullivan and Michelangelo Signorile, for starters.
Signorile demanded the press ask Kagan point blank: Are you gay?
The story has now become highly relevant: Kagan now needs to say if she is a lesbian or not. And the press must ask her point blank.
Well, turns out Ben Smith of Politico did just that. Almost. Well, kind of. He did the next best thing: He asked her college buddies. Because, if there’s one thing we all know, once you hit college, you “know.” (Ignore all those rumors about Smith College…) And, of course, you then “tell.” Certainly, if there’s something we all know about Kagan, she’s really great at opening up and telling personal details about her thoughts and her life.
I don’t fault Smith for asking. He’s a reporter and that’s what they do. And, to be honest, I like Ben Smith. (To be totally honest, we’ve tweeted occasionally. Since everyone seems to need to know everything. Come to think of it, no one’s asked me if I’m gay…)
Anywho…
So, yeah! You’ll never guess who Ben Smith asked!
Sarah Walzer!
See, I told you you’d never guess! (No, no one knows who Waltzer is, other than now we know she was Kagan’s roommate. And if there’s one other thing we all know, it’s that roommates never cover.)
Smith reports Waltzer saying,
“I’ve known her for most of her adult life and I know she’s straight.â€
There you have it folks! Never mind the country’s teetering on financial collapse, unemployment is at 9.9%, and the folks who are gay still can’t marry or get federal recognition, Elena Kagan is not gay…
So, the other person Smith asked was ladies man himself, Eliot Spitzer. Now, ignore the fact that Spitzer has been clamoring to get back in the spotlight. He should “know.”
“I did not go out with her, but other guys did,†he said in an email Tuesday night. “I don’t think it is my place to say more.â€
And there you have it. The next probable SCOTUS justice, Elana Kagan, is not, I repeat, not gay.
Now, can we go back to issues that are actually important?