2009 will surely be christened the year of gay rights. We’ve added four states to the same-sex marriage list, bringing the total to six, and the White House, rumor has it, will soon move to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and DOMA. There’s also still hope the Matthew Shepard Hate Crimes Bill will make it to President Obama’s desk.
Sadly, 2009 will also be known as the year of anti-gay harassment and violence against gays.
Gay-bashings, and their severity, are on the rise. So is anti-gay rhetoric, and child-suicides related to anti-gay bullying. And, as we learned back in June and July, gays are being harassed, detained, and even arrested, after kissing in public.
In mid-July, I wrote a call-to-action, challenging gay rights groups, bloggers, and the media to find ways of keeping positive images of the LGBTQ community in the public eye during the month of August. Called, “Fill The Void,” it warned that the right would try to hijack the gay rights conversation in this country over the summer, since, with Congress and state legislatures out of session, there would be no opportunities for the media to focus on the gay rights debate.
Unfortunately, I was a bit off.
A late June, Gay Pride Day police harassment incident involving Texas local law enforcement officers incorrectly threatening a same-sex couple with arrest, simply for kissing was quickly followed by an even more egregious July 10 incident in Salt Lake City.
The Salt Lake incident went beyond the pale. On their way home from a concert, walking through Main Street Plaza, Mormon Church property that serves as a pedestrian thoroughfare, a gay couple was detained and subsequently arrested. What initiated this obscenity? They were kissing.
True to form, and casting the first stone, despite what the Bible teaches, the Mormon Church, dissatisfied with the direction of growing public opinion against it after the same-sex kissing arrest, began a nasty smear campaign.
A full eight days after the arrest, the Church claimed the same-sex couple was drunk and violent:
“They engaged in passionate kissing, groping, profane and lewd language, and had obviously been using alcohol […and] they became belligerent.”
Fortunately, the Salt Lake City Prosecutor saw through the Church’s hypocrisy, and not only dropped all charges against the two men, but publicly chastised the Church for not marking the pedestrian mall as “private property.”
When I read about the Texas Gay Pride Day incident, in which, by the way, it was the same-sex couple and their friends who called police, I was upset. When I read about the Salt Lake City incident, I was angered. But after doing more research, I found other cases of harassment and arrest for kissing, and I was outraged.
So, on July 13 I called for a national kiss-in to protest these incidents. After writing, “It’s Time For A Nationwide Kiss-In!” I contacted a friend who happens to be the director and co-founder of Join The Impact, a dynamic (in their first week they amassed one million members) grassroots LGBTQ activist organization that was formed just after Prop 8 passed last November. Then, another friend, David Mailloux, a fellow writer who blogs at DYM SUM joined us, and the rest, as they say, is history.
In less than five weeks, The Great Nationwide Kiss-In became a movement. More than 4600 people joined us, and together, we held “Kiss-Ins” to affirm and celebrate everyone’s right to share acts of simple affection with their loved ones, in public. In more than fifty cities across America, in major metropolitan areas like New York and Boston, and smaller towns like Fayetteville, Arkansas, and Athens, Georgia, people joined together. And we went international, holding an event in Canada, and one in Saipan, capitol of the United States Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands.
So, what was the point of all this? Simple, really.
Studies tell us that gay-rights opponents, or those sitting on the fence, are far more likely to alter their opinion in favor of gay rights once they get to know us. (As I like to say, to know us is to love us!) We wanted to educate the public, to help them see, literally, straight couples standing alongside gay couples, and all kissing their loved ones at exactly the same time, across the country. (Which, by the way, meant 4:00 AM in Saipan!) Personally, I can’t imagine a more powerful statement, or a more beautiful one.
It’s important to note that this was not a “gay event.” A great many of our organizers and participants were straight couples. Which was exactly the point. We showed that love knows no boundaries, no gender, makes no distinctions. Nor did we.
Did we make a difference? I can honestly say, “yes!” The public response and support was overwhelming. Stories from participants about the attitudes of passersby were almost wholly positive.
Importantly, we got people talking. We reminded people that there is more than one way to make a point. In the midst of this summer’s babbling “birther” and “death panel” stories in the media, against a backdrop of out-of-control screaming town halls and gun-toting attendees, we stood up and used a peaceful demonstration – not a protest, but a demonstration of love – to educate and combat hatred and homophobia.