A Blanchard Family Christmas

Derek Penton joins our family of contributors today. Derek will give us an insider’s view on his lawsuit asking Louisiana to recognize his marriage.

On a December night just prior to Christmas in 2009, friends were gathering, families were snuggling, and New Orleans Saints fans were preparing for possibly the best Christmas gift Santa could bring – a Black and Gold Super bowl.  In the middle of all this Christmas cheer, a family I now love and hold dear was just starting to take shape.

Nadine and Courtney Blanchard met, fell in love, and were living what seemed to be the perfect life.  They had good careers, a stable relationship, and a home for themselves just like countless other couples. They soon began to realize that their goals and how they saw the future were pretty much in sync.  After two years of being a happy couple, they wanted to complete their family with a child.  In November 2011, after weighing all the options and deciding what would work best, they sought a doctor to help make their dreams a reality.  The couple underwent in vitro fertilization using Courtney’s egg, an anonymous sperm donor, and Nadine’s uterus as the vessel. The decision for Nadine to carry the child was an important one, not only because they both wanted to have a part in the creation of this child, but also because it would have legal complications down the road.

On May 2, 2012, the couple got the news that many couples dream. Their hopes of a child were coming into shape.  They were PREGNANT!  In the coming months, like normal expectant parents, the two soon-to-be moms would begin that old-fashioned parenting skill passed down from generation to generation without fail: They would begin to worry.  They worried about having a healthy child.  They worried about being good parents.  They worried, as a lesbian couple, how the child would fare out in a society and community in south Louisiana that doesn’t always accept “non-traditional” families.  As a paramedic, seeing the many family situations I have seen, I can attest that stability isn’t traditional or non-traditional, nor is family.  Like many people of my generation, I am a product of divorced parents; people tend to turn out just fine, no matter the family unit, when they are raised right! But I digress.

On May 19, 2012, Courtney and Nadine had a private ceremony in their hometown in Louisiana to solidify their family unit in front of friends and family.  Ask Courtney about her wedding dress if you get a chance and how much she LOVED wearing it.

As fall became winter (as much as that actually happens down here in Louisiana), Courtney and Nadine would receive the best present just five days after Christmas.  On December 30, 2012, they delivered a beautiful baby boy.  As the new baby was settling into his new life, and the moms were realizing that their own lives had changed forever and for the better, the bitter realities of what families like this go through every day begin to surface.

Courtney’s egg had produced this beautiful child who, by all biological appearances, blood, genetics, and mere spitting image was hers. Nadine carried the child to term and, in the eyes of the law, is the legal mother of this child.  Under Louisiana law, Nadine’s name was the only one that would be allowed to be on the birth certificate. Joint adoptions are possible in situations like this, but we are talking about the state of Louisiana, where you can marry your cousin, but two women cannot be on the same birth certificate. Louisiana does not allow same-sex marriage, nor does the state recognize the marriages of same-sex individuals from other states.  Joint adoption is out of the question, so Courtney has no legal say whatsoever in her child’s life.

Louisiana Civil Code Article 3520:

A. A marriage that is valid in the state where contracted, or in the state where the parties were first domiciled as husband and wife, shall be treated as a valid marriage unless to do so would violate a strong public policy of the state whose law is applicable to the particular issue under Article 3519.

B. A purported marriage between persons of the same sex violates a strong public policy of the state of Louisiana and such a marriage contracted in another state shall not be recognized in this state for any purpose, including the assertion of any right or claim as a result of the purported marriage.

Acts 1991, No. 923, §1, eff. Jan. 1, 1992; Acts 1999, No. 890, §1.

Nadine and Courtney had always felt that they would not be satisfied until they had a legal marriage, whether recognized in certain locations or not.  Knowing that a piece of paper does not confirm or validate love or a family, and that Louisiana would not recognize it, the couple still wanted a legal marriage. Fate seemed to step in.  In late August 2013, with some days off around Labor Day, the couple remembered they had a trip planned to Chicago to visit Nadine’s niece.  They decided to search for states near Illinois to find the closest one with legal same-sex marriage.  The couple discovered that the neighboring state, Iowa, had legalized same-sex marriage in 2009 and, with that in mind, they decided to make a day trip to a small county just across the state line.  Having in tow the two witnesses required for the marriage license, Nadine’s niece and a friend of Courtney’s from high school, along with their son, they had a ceremony that legalized their marriage.

Upon returning to Louisiana, the couple’s marriage was by all intents and purposes nothing but a piece of paper. See Frustrating Louisiana Civil Code Above.  The couple decided it was time for a change and time to stand up for what they believed was right and just.  One night on their local news they saw a story of a married couple in New Orleans that was suing to have their out-of-state marriage recognized and the fire started to burn. They contacted acting counsel Scott J. Spivey and joined a federal lawsuit, the lawsuit my husband and I brought, Robicheaux v Caldwell .  Knowing that this process could take years, they were up to the challenge.  They knew that the road was long and bumpy, but wanted to join a cause that touched them personally.

Courtney has said, “So, you ask me why we are fighting for our rights here in Louisiana? The answer is simple.  My family is no different than yours.  We make decisions together, we live together, and we love together.”

We have been told time and time again by both friends and strangers alike that it is not time here in Louisiana, and that to do this in a state that is so socially conservative is ridiculous. So as we wait for what the future brings for our case and our families, we ask you this:  What is your bottom line? Where do you draw your line in the sand? Will it be when something so terrible happens and you have no protection under the law? “Wills” and “powers of attorney” are not always enough to cover every situation. What time is the right time for Louisiana to recognize your family?

For my husband, Jon, and me – NOW IS THAT TIME, NOW IS THAT HOUR.  For Courtney, Nadine, and their son – NOW IS THAT TIME, NOW IS THAT HOUR. We will not wait until we are granted permission by organizations and public opinion to do what is best for our family.  We will fight for our family and all LGBT families in Louisiana, until the right side of history is in the books.  We hope that every one of you will join us on the journey.  You deserve no less.  We deserve no less.  Courtney and Nadine’s son deserves nothing less.

To keep up with our case, watch for my updates here every other Saturday. You can also visit us on Facebook or check out our website.

Editor’s Note: If you haven’t read it yet, be sure to catch up with Derek’s original piece for the New Civil Rights Movement: Robicheaux vs. Caldwell – Why We Are Suing To Be Married In Louisiana  

Photo via the Courtney and Nadine Blanchard

  

Derek Penton, 35, is a native of Mississippi and a longtime resident of New Orleans.  He holds degrees in computer information systems and paramedicine.  After more than five years together, Penton and his husband, Jonathan Robicheaux, were legally married in Iowa on Sept. 23, 2012.