“It never hit me that it was possible for the rights of gay people to marry to take steps BACKWARDS.”

Valentine’s Day Readers’ Stories

Editor’s note: This is one of five stories written by our readers, in honor of Valentine’s Day.

22 years ago I moved to the Bay Area of California.  I came from a mountain west area of the country, but had been raised with an open mind on most things and taught to be fair.  When I arrived in California, the first work situation I found myself in my boss was a lesbian woman.  This was not something I had been exposed to, and I soon found my understanding and empathy of this situation in question.

Immediately after this, while struggling with my fiancee to figure out how to finance our first home purchase, her best friend from college came to visit.  He was a gay man from St. Louis who travelled to SF every year for Pride.  Without hesitation he loaned us the money we were short to close on our house.  In addition, he took us to the City for Pride and introduced me to many of his friends.  I was learning quickly 2 things; 1) these gay people were nothing like the demons they had been made out to be in my early years and 2) I had not really been raised to be fair or open minded.

Soon I found myself involved in numerous friendships with gay and lesbian people from work, sports, mutual acquaintances, etc. and over a short time it started to lose it’s relevancy… whether any given person was gay.  I was heavily involved in sports, and was coaching a collegiate team at the time at Stanford.  We were very successful, winning 3 national championships in 4 years.  There were at least a couple guys on the team that were gay, but it never really occurred to me that it might be important to anyone.  By no intention, I never discussed their preferences or lifestyles with them.

Years later, as we all gathered together at events or connected on FaceBook, it became evident which members of the team were gay.  Some introduced me to their partners, others simply allowed me a window into their world and friendships.

My life has been enriched in so many ways through my interaction with the gay community. Obviously the initial financial boost helped get over a major hurdle, but so much more importantly, I have had a multitude of experiences that have added to the fabric of my life. What is astonishing to me is this;  I cannot imagine that politicians living in DC have not had similar experiences……. yet there are so many willing to treat an entire segment of humanity like some lesser form of life.  It never hit me until the most recent election in California, that it was possible for the rights of gay people to marry to take steps BACKWARDS.  I had assumed that there was an irresistible march forward and in time full rights were inevitable.

Like I found 22 years ago, I was wrong.

Unless straight people are willing to stand side by side to combat the ignorance of these homo-phobic zealots, the gay community cannot expect to be “granted” what they rightfully should already have; the right to love who they wish and have that love appropriately recognized and celebrated by society.

To Mark and Keith and others that face this every day, I want to say thank you for all you do, I couldn’t be happier with who you are, and you can count on my help wherever possible.

Dave Juszczyk