Connect with us

“Gay Marriage Is About Changing The Standard Of Human Behavior”



In Which I Respond To A Reader’s



Dear Tricia,

In your note, you write, “Gay marriage is NOT about hating gays.” I absolutely agree with you: gay marriage NOT about hating gays. Gay marriage is about love, and about respect, and about civil rights, and about giving, and about caring, and about loving someone more than you love yourself. Just like straight marriage.

You write, “Genes play a role, however, you are really talking about changing the standard of human behaviour.” I also absolutely agree: Genes play a role. In my opinon, and that of many scientists, gays are gay because we were born that way. So, yes, you’re right, there’s no choice involved.

And, to your point, I also absolutely agree that marriage is more than just an arrangement. It is a beautiful, special relationship, between two consenting adults who, hopefully, love each other very much.

By your writing, you suggest that your marriage, because it is heterosexual, has more value and is better than what will be mine. I’d like to understand how and why you think that? I’d like to understand how and why you think you are able to speak for all mankind about marriage? And I’d like to understand how and why you think it’s OK to hold your idea of marriage above mine, or anyone else’s? Is your heterosexual marriage better than the heterosexual marriage of a couple in England? In Egypt? In China? Does it have more value than a heterosexual marriage in India? In Russia? Canada? The Ukraine? Because every marriage is different. It’s what makes them the same that make them marriages. It’s what makes them the same that makes them special.

What troubles me is that, by your writing, you think that if gay marriage becomes legal, all men will choose other men instead of women. Trust me, that’s not the case. If it were, there are many gay and curious high school boys who might be thrilled, but, sorry to disappoint, it’s just not so. If gays are allowed (as much as I hate to use that term; who has the right to tell me whom I can and can not marry?) to marry, I promise you that straight men will not choose gay men over women. Not going to happen. I also promise you that gay, closeted men who feel forced to marry women will some day not feel that pressure, and not hurt those women some day by leaving them for another man, and will not surprise the children they had with those women. I’m not judging them, I’m simply stating fact.

You write, “The only reason men and women seek each other as mates is not because of sex,” implying that the only reason men seek other men as mates is because of sex. That is patently false, and exposes your idea that gay men have sex all the time, and are inherently non-monogamous. I can promise you, again, that gay men are as monogamus as straight men. Many gay men are more monogamous than many straight men. And vice versa. Sexuality does not define one’s desire to be in a committed relationship or not. If it did, certainly the 50% divorce rate in this country would not be. I know many, many gay couples who have been together for decades, far longer than many, many straight couples. And, honestly, you should know that this antiquated notion of what constitutes a gay man’s sex life is rather offensive.

You also write, “Now the new standard is why bother have sex with men.” Well, surely you cannot believe that, given the choice, a straight man will automatically opt to have sex with another man instead of a woman. Are you that insecure in your own self that you fear men will leave you because they can marry other men? A friend recently wrote,

“Gay marriage isn’t an idea or a movement, but a reality of the way a minority of Americans live their lives. The giant repercussions that opponents of gay marriage rave about seem preposterous when you consider that legalizing gay marriage doesn’t create something that wasn’t there before. Those couples are already here. They’re living together, sharing lives, buying homes, raising children, living exactly as they’d live if they were legally married.”

One other point I’ll agree with you on. Gay marriage is about changing the standard of human behavior. It’s about changing the standard of what stood as normal  human behavior from bigots and ignorant hate-mongers who think they’re better than we are, and who had the stamp of approval of society and government to support their selfish, small-minded mentality. Well, that day is over. Gay marriage is about changing the standard of human behavior, to one in which people are more equal than they were before,  to one in which people have the right to live their lives they way they choose, to love the person who loves them back, without fear of reprisal or derision. Yes, Tricia, gay marriage is changing the standard of human behavior. It is making us all a little more human.


(You can view Tricia’s original comment here.)

Continue Reading
Click to comment

Enjoy this piece?

… then let us make a small request. The New Civil Rights Movement depends on readers like you to meet our ongoing expenses and continue producing quality progressive journalism. Three Silicon Valley giants consume 70 percent of all online advertising dollars, so we need your help to continue doing what we do.

NCRM is independent. You won’t find mainstream media bias here. From unflinching coverage of religious extremism, to spotlighting efforts to roll back our rights, NCRM continues to speak truth to power. America needs independent voices like NCRM to be sure no one is forgotten.

Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure NCRM remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to NCRM, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check.


3 Dead in Current Active Shooting in Austin – Outrage as Texas Lawmakers Move to Make Unlicensed Open Carry Legal



Three people are dead in a shooting in Austin, Texas, with the gunman is at large, per multiple reports and the Austin-Travis County EMS:

“Police and medics are staging at a parking lot in the area where a Starbucks and Trader Joe’s are located, but the actual scene of the shooting is further down Great Hills Trail, according to officials,” KVUE reports.

KVUE senior reporter Tony Plohetski is on-scene:

There have been at least 150 mass shooting this year.

As reports flood social media many expressed outrage at Texas GOP lawmakers who this past week voted to eliminate requirements for gun licenses, which would allow open or concealed carry of handguns without a license.

Continue Reading


Maria Bartiromo and Stephen Miller Panic Over Voting Rights Putting Democrats in Charge ‘Forever’



Fox News host Maria Bartiromo and former Trump administration official Stephen Miller worried over the weekend that Democrats will be in charge “forever” if voting rights are expanded or protected.

During an interview on Bartiromo’s Sunday morning program, the Fox News host accused social media platforms of inflicting “cancel culture” on conservative voices.

Miller argued that Republicans should pass laws protecting Chrisitians on social media as soon as the party regains control of government.

“Yeah, will Republicans have the chance?” Bartiromo agreed. “That’s the whole point of H.R. 1, Nancy Pelosi wanting to put this bill through so that Democrats are in charge forever or certainly decades. Your thoughts on election integrity and that Democrat [sic] H.R. 1 bill.”

“It’s a real sign of the threat to the health of our democracy,” Miller opined. “When democracy faces risk, when democracy is imperiled, what you see happening instead is the party in power tries to change the rules of the game structurally to stay in power.”

Miller argued that the voting rights bill is “a very dangerous path to go down.”

“H.R. 1 is saying, now that we’re in power, let’s fundamentally change the rules of how elections are conducted to stay in power,” he continued.

“Unbelievable,” Bartiromo gasped.

“That’s a very scary thing,” Miller said. “And so if you care about democracy, you should all say with one voice, no, it is the right of every state in this union to set their own election rules as desired by their own citizens to protect the security and integrity of their own elections. That’s fundamental!”

“It’s all quite extraordinary,” Bartiromo lamented.

Watch the video below from Fox News.



Continue Reading


‘Violent, Vain, Boasting Oafs’: GOP’s New ‘Anglo-Saxon’ Caucus Brutally Dismantled by Historians as ‘American Fascists’



On Saturday, Newsweek profiled a number of historians outraged at the effort by Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) to create an “America First” congressional caucus that would defend “Anglo-Saxon political traditions.”

Grand View University associate professor of medieval history Thomas Lacaque did not mince words: “These American fascists have no relation to Anglos or Saxons, the terminology is clearly chosen on far right lines. They do remind me of Beowulf, though —violent, vain, boasting oafs who think killing is governance and will die doing dumb shit leaving the nation in ruins.”

“There is no such thing as ‘Anglo-Saxon’ political traditions’ unless Margorie [sic] Taylor Greene is talking about Old English charters and she isn’t,” wrote University of Toronto medieval scholar Mary Rambaran-Olm. “If she wants to return to those, she’ll have to stop advocating for gun use. ‘Anglo-Saxon’ is being weaponized by the far-right.” She added that the very term “Anglo-Saxon” is a “racist dog-whistle, inaccurate and generally sucks balls.”

The new caucus, which Greene co-founded with Rep. Paul Gosar (R-AZ) and has attracted membership interest from Reps. Barry Moore (R-AL) and Louie Gohmert (R-TX), has even drawn criticism from other Republicans.

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy (R-CA) responded to the news by saying, “The Republican Party is the party of Lincoln & the party of more opportunity for all Americans — not nativist dog whistles.” And Rep. Adam Kinzinger (R-IL), a frequent critic of Trump loyalists, has called for any Republican who joins the caucus to be stripped of committee assignments and expelled from the Republican conference.


Image via Facebook

Continue Reading


Copyright © 2020 AlterNet Media.