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The “Secrets” Gawker’s Brian Moylan Thinks Gay Men Think

by David Badash on January 6, 2012

in Bigotry Watch,Discrimination,News

Post image for The “Secrets” Gawker’s Brian Moylan Thinks Gay Men Think

Gawker’s Brian Moylan says he’s a “shit talker” and “part of the problem.” I’d agree.

With literally millions of gay men, lesbian women, and bisexual and transgender Americans fighting every day for equality and freedom, for the right to marry, fighting to not be fired at work for being a minority, and fighting just for the basic right to walk down the street holding our loved one’s hand without getting sneered at, or without getting gay-bashed — verbally or physically — Gawker’s Brian Moylan decided it would be fun to publish a few “truths” that he claims are “The Secrets Gay Men Don’t Want Straight People to Know.”

Well, he’s wrong.

Moylan published a few facts about “gay men” that are equally applicable to most straight men — and straight women, and lesbians.

Moylan is part of that dying breed who think that being in the closet has its perks, who think that there’s more that divides gays from straights than unites us, who thinks that gays are all oh-so-very-different from straights.

Sorry, Brian.

While your truth may very well lie somewhere in that Leave-It-To-Beaver Father-Knows-Best Far-From-Heaven 1960′s claptrap, most people in the LGBT community are, in fact, just like most people in the straight community.

Brian sounds like that person you meet at a cocktail party who thinks you’re one-of-them and tests the waters by whispering that someone’s “black,” or “gay,” or, “Hispanic,” when gossiping.

I believe most gays and lesbians, most bisexual and transgender Americans are just trying to get or keep a job, pay our bills, feed our families, get to sleep at night, have some fun on weekends, spend time with loved ones, and hope that tomorrow is a better day for everyone.

(Which reminds me of something I wrote a few years ago, “I Do Not Deserve Your Tolerance.” Feed on that, Brian.)

“As gay men and lesbians get closer and closer to the mainstream they’ve often traded in their image as the queer radicals who started the Stonewall Riots for the milquetoast assimilationists who want to get married and have kids and put HRC bumper stickers on their cars,” Moylan writes, in full knowledge that he’ll get slammed on Twitter and Facebook — which he has. (See image from Moylan’s Twitter feed above.)

“That doesn’t mean we’re still not queer radicals,” Moylan adds. “It just means we’re hiding it from you.”

Moylan wants to “expose” “all sorts of secrets that Ted and Ned, the nice gay couple next door to you with the matching BMWs and the prim sweater sets aren’t telling you.” You, as in straight people.

Well, here is Moylan’s antiquated list of “secrets” that he thinks are exclusive to gays:

  • Bottoming Is Fun
  • Poppers Are Awesome
  • Cocksucker Is Not an Insult
  • We Have Our Own Celebrities
  • We Want to Fuck All the Hot Straight Boys
  • Not All Gay Couples Are Monogamous
  • We Can Have Sex Anywhere at Anytime
  • We Don’t Love Drag Queens As Much As You Do

Silly Moylan probably wrote his little piece because of this piece at iO9, Gawker’s sister site, that finds that almost half of heterosexiuals under 45 have or have had anal sex. That probably really bothered him, made him feel not quite special as he thought he was.

That, and it was a slow news day.

News flash, Brian!

Straight people have anal sex, use poppers, have oral sex, see someone of the opposite sex and are attracted to them, have open relationships, don’t love drag queens as much as you think they do (no offense to drag queens!), and even have their own version of Grindr.

Grow up, Brian, and stop trying to make “gay” something evil, different, secret, and wrong. America already has a Rick Santorum.

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Archer8877 January 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm

I think the article was not a comment on how being in the closet was a "better" time.

Gay men who were in the closet, the ones who fought for the liberties we take for granted, acted outside of society. They created their own type of bonding, social rituals and cultures that were altogether different than that of their straight counterparts.

The article was a quirky commentary on the things we loose as we assimilate into society. As any minority group get pulled into what is deemed 'normal' they tend to loose the rituals they had to create in order to feel part of something. We no long have to hold onto the past, because we are moving forward. But moving forward is not forgetting where we came from.

To look at this article and bash it as outrageous, and ignorant, is to be part of the problem. Embrace where you came from. No, this article does not talk about ALL gay men. No piece of writing, no opinion can embody the entirety of one group of people. But the article has a place. It has a voice. If nothing that was written by him was true, then Grindr would not exist. There would have been no residence to bring this application into modern mainstream accepted America.

A bunch of yelling gays, fighting amongst each other because of a piece of satire is opposite to the point you are arguing. To say that people will read this and judge you, comes from insecurity. You fear what people think of gays, because you yourself believe that you are not accepted. Satire, stereotypes, these are the things that bond the cumulative mindset. Every group of people in the world has a similar list made about them, from members of their own community.

You are not better than your past. You are not better than your peers. No one conforms to every stereotype about them, learn to accept. To laugh. To observe.

David Badash January 9, 2012 at 11:38 am

This isn't about "truth," even though I did state that he wrote "facts." There is truth in a great many things. The point is, this hurts the LGBT community, by reducing our lives to sex and stereotype.

If this were written by a straight man, would it be OK?

Emerson Dameron January 9, 2012 at 10:41 am

Set and setting. The same day, Gawker also published a piece called "How to Talk to a Real Live Woman." It was also a satire.

David Badash January 9, 2012 at 11:35 am

Yeah, except this was not satire. Just go read Moylan's numerous tweets right before and for hours after he posted the piece. He's a professional antagonist. Which is fine, except when he makes it harder for the LGBT community. I have similar issues with Dan Savage. At least Savage has done a great deal of good for our community as well.

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