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NJ Waitress’ Tip: ‘I Do Not Agree With Your Lifestyle And The Way You Live Your Life’

by David Badash on November 14, 2013

in Bigotry Watch,News

Post image for NJ Waitress’ Tip: ‘I Do Not Agree With Your Lifestyle And The Way You Live Your Life’

A $93.55 check netted one New Jersey waitress an unexpected tip. Former Marine Dayna Morales, a server at Gallop Asian Bistro in Bridgewater, got no money for the service she gave one family, but a note that read, “I’m sorry I cannot tip because I do not agree with your lifestyle and the way you live your life.”

In an email Morales sent to the Facebook page, Have A Gay Day, she writes:

NEVER in a million years did I think this would happen. Not only was it a family with two kids, but as I introduce myself and tell them my name is Dayna – the mom proceeds to look at me and say “oh I thought you were gonna say your name is Dan. You sure surprised us!”

I am THOROUGHLY offended mad pissed off and hurt that THIS is what her kids will grow up learning and that I served in the Marines to keep ignorant people like them free.

Morales spoke by phone today with The New Civil Rights Movement. She says that while the experience “sucked,” the management at Gallop Asian Bistro has stood by her. “We’re really more of a big family here,” she said, proudly and genuinely. Morales also said she really appreciates all the support that has come rolling in.

The Facebook post alone has over 4000 “likes” and has been shared over 1100 times in less than 24 hours.

Just last month a waiter at Carrabba’s Italian Grill in Overland Park, Kansas, suffered a similar experience when a Christian couple left him no tip, but a note that read:

Thank you for your service, it was excellent. That being said, we cannot in good conscience tip you, for your homosexual lifestyle is an affront to GOD. Queers do not share in the wealth of GOD, and you will not share in ours. We hope you will see the tip your fag choices made you lose out on, and plan accordingly. It is never too late for GOD’S love, but none shall be spared for fags. May GOD have mercy on you.


Image via Have A Gay Day’s Facebook page

Hat tip: Huffington Post

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BearFlagCitizen November 14, 2013 at 5:23 pm

Christianists are getting more and more brazen. First the Overland Park incident, now this, and a friend on Facebook posted this little bit just the other day (granted, from 2012)

Maybe we need to just push back and and say, "In good conscience and based on my strong religious belief, I cannot serve bigoted morons,"

erikaritter November 15, 2013 at 1:01 am

Please don't call these people Christians. They are not acting according to Christian beliefs or Bible standards. I worry about this building war between so called "Christians" and the rest of society. These people are wrong, VERY wrong. But I see non-Christian society looking at these people and using it as an example of all Christians and if true Christians don't stand up and point out that these people are not acting like they are supposed to, then we are all going to be judged that way. I just ask that you don't generalize. Be an example that you can't hate a people group for the actions of a few, otherwise you are acting the same way they are: with judgement and hatred and stereotyping and you don't want to be as bad as those people.

BearFlagCitizen November 15, 2013 at 12:44 pm

I am not at all confusing Christians who live by Christ's example, with Christianists, nor am I lumping, or generalizing all Christians by the behaviour of this group. That said, and looking from a Christian point of view, if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem. I see this with my mother and what she says happens in her Church when something that happens in her Church goes against Jesus' example and everyone just turns a blind eye, "Well everyone else in the Church believes this way too," mentality. The ones who live by example need to stand up and say un-christlike behaviour will not be tolerated in the body of Christ.

It takes respect to get respect. I treat everyone as I would want to be treated in return. However, if Christianist's can't even give common decency and respect enough to tip, and not only that, but to be holier than thou about it, then they don't deserve my respect in return.

I don't need to be tolerant of intolerance.

By the way, I do come from a strong Roman Catholic/Christian upbringing. Which I left right at the time when I learned that what Christians say they are, and how they behave are two very separate things. I decided I never wanted to be associated with them again. Something my mother still has yet to grasp.

erikaritter November 15, 2013 at 4:44 pm

I agree, Christians need to stand up and face the hypocrites. They are hurting non-Christians and Christians. Hypocrites are more damaging to the faith than any atheists ever have been. This is spoken of in the Bible: God would rather you not believe and hate Christianity than to be a hypocrite. I guess they must have missed that part. In fact it also states that Christians are not to judge non-Christians…you know who Christians are called to judge? Other Christians…and I believe this is the very reason.
I am truly sorry for the atrocities carried out in the name of Christianity that Christ would never support. I honestly pray that these people will realize their error and apologize and if not, that they would be separated and not tolerated in the Christian community.

sickofthespin November 28, 2013 at 7:57 am

Maybe you should have realized this smelled of BS. I called this a Tawana Brawley scam from the start.

weshlovrcm November 14, 2013 at 5:24 pm

So does this mean that pro-equality Americans don't need to tip divorced waitstaff? After all, according to the Bible someone can divorce only for adultery. Otherwise, anyone who remarries after a divorce is committing adultery which is a sin. We wouldn't want to support their immoral lifestyle with our tips. If cheap, sinful, nosy, I'm-better-than-you people can decide arbitrarily who to tip, then we all should be able to do that.

Huntercgo November 14, 2013 at 5:38 pm

Unfortunately, that would amount to victimizing someone else who more than likely needs the money, and would make us just like the "Christians" who feel not only entitled but obliged to judge everyone else by an arbitrary standard that has no basis in any kind of genuine morality.

erikaritter November 15, 2013 at 1:05 am

Thank you for putting "Christians" in quotes…those people are not…at least not according to the Bible and last time I checked…that's kind of the standard.

Huntercgo November 15, 2013 at 6:05 am

If they can use sarcasm quotes, so can we.

erikaritter November 15, 2013 at 2:41 pm

I agree, I am a Christian…I'm just not a "Christian" :) Christian means following Christ's example. These people are clearly not doing that.

sickofthespin November 28, 2013 at 7:58 am

You bought in to this hook, line and sinker. I can't believe so many people believe this…

smjaeger November 14, 2013 at 5:53 pm

My first thing as I would do as the restaurant manager would be to ban these people for life. No one should be able to treat staff in that manner. I would then send their name and address to all the restaurateurs I knew and explain why we banned them. Whether she was gay, lesbian, transgendered or is straight and had a 'butch haircut', for a member of the staff to be slammed in such a way basically shows that family is as bigoted as Archie Bunker was, but 30 years later they haven't learned a thing. For real fun I'd have a bunch of Dayna's fellow Marines go knock on their door and explain how this family dissed a Good Marine and explain that this family doesn't deserve protection from any of the services, the police, the fire department etc.

atunionbob November 14, 2013 at 6:13 pm

I have worked in the restaurant bis as a manager of a Village Inn. We had several wait staff that were effeminate men that were NOT gay and we had sever very butch women with short hair who were NOT lesbians. They all were married and had kids and or family. If this had happened at my restaurant I would have not allowed those customers to return to my store. I had done that several times with NO tippers. I remember one specific case where 25 people came in as a group. Were excessively demanding and could not be pleased… They told the two waiters I assigned the table that they were not getting a tip. when the went to pay the bill I showed them that the tip was automatically attached to the bill and they would pay it or go to jail for thieft of service. They paid.

rockymissouri November 14, 2013 at 10:46 pm

Thank you for sharing that story…!!

lookingup14 November 14, 2013 at 6:54 pm

I want to apologize to anyone that has been treated anyway like this. I am embarrassed for the ignorant people hiding behind Christianity. I am a Christian and would NEVER treat someone like that. Regardless of my stance on something. It's not our place, that is reserved for God. It reminds me of the ignorance of the old school KKK/bigots, they couldn't stand minorities, but they were allowed to cook their food, raise their children, etc. How backwards is that!?!?!? In the case of these ignoramouses in this story, how do u know the person cooking ur food wasn't gay? The fact is everything we use in life products and services have possibly been touched by someone gay. News flash! Not everyone that is gay is obvious. It's people like them that that make it a difficult world to live in because I guarantee u that they are not only judgemental about gays, but anyone or anything that they feel falsely superior to. I guess they think they r gonna cause people to change their way of life, by being rude, judgemental, obnoxious, etc. It's people like them that give others justification to run from Christianity. I promise u that we are all not like that. Last word to the ignorant people that showed their a$$es…be careful who u ostracize, someone close u may be the very thing ur abhorring…

MARTinNJ212 November 14, 2013 at 7:11 pm

Thank you for your comment. I am sure the person in question appreciates it.

jocandle November 14, 2013 at 6:58 pm

Religious people are horrible people. They judge other, discriminate, and are very hateful – on top of all that they think they can hide behind their beliefs and bibles. I am the type that fights fire with fire. If I was there I would have lost my job with the things I would have done to their food!

erikaritter November 15, 2013 at 12:54 am

Please don't do that, otherwise you are doing the same thing you are complaining about: judging, discriminating and hating a whole group of people based on the actions of a few idiots and I don't think that's how you are–given your disdain for those types of actions. Religious people are not horrible people, in fact if these so-called Christians read and followed the Bible, they would never act like that so one could argue that they should be more religious…not less religious. It's not hiding behind the Bible or Christian beliefs if you are not following what it says to do in the Bible or according to Christian beliefs. Let's just call it what it is and say these people are wrong…not every religious person.

sickofthespin November 28, 2013 at 8:01 am

Apparently, Religious people didn't do anything. This was a scam set up by homosexuals to portray themselves as victims. Stop pointing the finger at others and realize the hypocrisy in yourself.

RealMiniatures November 14, 2013 at 9:08 pm

The world is full of idiots and this puke is proof of that.

sickofthespin November 28, 2013 at 8:02 am

Yes, Morales is an idiot and so are those that bought this story.

Bradley November 15, 2013 at 12:01 am

They didn't seem to mind that a lesbian was their server. Only when it came time to pay that they became bigoted idiots.

Dawn_McPherson November 15, 2013 at 1:19 am

I am a Christian. That does NOT give me free reign to judge or criticize, or look down on ANYONE that does not believe as I do. If someone is gay, they're gay. So what? If they're are not trying to make me turn gay, why would I try to make them turn into something different. We are all HUMAN Beings. No one has the right to judge, or make those hurtful and horrible comments. And then not to tip on top of that? Seriously? That is how waiters/waitresses make a living- from tips! It certainly is not their hourly wage. I find it shameful that some Christians hide behind God and the bible to judge others and that gives all Christians a bad name. When my oldest son was a freshman in high school he went to a private Christian high school. In his theology class, they had a segment on homosexuality. Now, here is my baby, the only in his class, and school for that matter, who dares to go against the grain and challenge the thinking and the teaching of the lessons. My son would not quite. Every time the teacher went on how homosexual people are hated by God, and Christians need to stay away from them, my son would challenge the teacher and tell the teacher- NO, that is not true. God does not hate homosexuals. God loves everyone. Period. It became so unbearable for my son, he was miserable. The teacher refused to even call on him in class anymore. Well, that teacher had an earful full from me. I raised my children in the Christian faith. My oldest attends church more than I do. I also taught them to have open minds. No one is better than anyone else on this planet; period. Needless to say, I refused to let my son go to a private Christian high school for the remainder of high school. I am so very proud of him for speaking his mind, not backing down, and speaking the truth even thought it was 1 against so very many, including the teacher. My son attempted to teach the other students that homosexuals are not bad individuals. No one to be afraid of. What this school was teaching, I'm terrified of what these kids- now they will be in college- are going out into the real world and doing. Their freshman year, they wanted to beat up homosexuals. That is sad, sick, and wrong. As soon as everyone gets it through their heads that we are all equal, all human beings, all on this earth, and should be helping each other and not hindering each other- then this world will be a better place.

russellsvocation November 15, 2013 at 1:49 am

We can only hop this family returns to the restaurant and is, politely, declined service.
Well, that or they let them in, seat them and just leave them to get hungrier and hungrier until they finally leave on their own.

nativetexan1969 November 15, 2013 at 9:42 am

First of all, I hope that the management supported this server by paying the tip that was earned. I am a non Christian, but do not support the Christian bashing going on here… I have several family members that are active church goers and would NEVER treat anyone this way. Being Christian doesn't automatically make someone a judgmental, mean spirited person. The people that behave this way are doing so in the name of Christianity, yes, but that's just their excuse for being nasty. This behavior is awful and it is unnecessary. Live your life as you choose, but do so realizing that what is right for you isn't right for everyone else, and Christian or not, you don't get to choose or dictate how others live. And behaving this way just makes you look like the hypocrite that you are.

whatstheuser November 15, 2013 at 10:51 am

The behavior of this "Godly" family is cheapness disguised as "morality," which equals hypocrisy. If they are so offended by the waitress' lifestyle, why did they accept service from her in the first place? Wasn't it so convenient to express their view only when it came time to tip?

sickofthespin November 28, 2013 at 8:05 am

You've just condemned an innocent family. How quick you are to belive what you wanted, instead of the truth.

ritalls November 15, 2013 at 4:34 pm

We insert God into the equation but satin uses us to confuse the very name of God.

This is about gay life-styles. I'd rather call it exactly what it is. A gay life-style is a sinful life-style. Sin is sin. There are many sinful life-styles to live, gay is just one.

A Christian can admit to the raw and deceptive waves of sin and still live according to Jesus Christ.

will250 November 15, 2013 at 5:56 pm

Absolutely Ignorant lets show her that there's more good people then ignorant rude cheap ones.

ritalls November 15, 2013 at 6:21 pm

So I go to the website posted in will250 and what do I read?

To show Dayna that the percentage of great people is far higher then the percentage of rude, ignorant cheap douchebags.

Let's name call now and collect money to show we care?

My gosh!

will250 November 15, 2013 at 6:44 pm

I apologize for my poor wording, I was just a little disappointed in a certain portion of the human race at the moment. I have changed the wording slightly, but Rude, Ignorant, and Cheap will stay.

As for attempting to do something to send this girl the biggest tip of her life?

What's the problem with that?

I also notice that your reputation points are -17 so I'm not going to concern myself with you looking down on the way I went about this..

Good day.. Douchebag

Huntercgo November 15, 2013 at 5:27 pm

I've known too many real Christians in my life to be taken in by these con artists — because that's what they are.

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