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Post image for In Honor of V-Day – If Vaginas Could Bite

In Honor of V-Day – If Vaginas Could Bite

by Jean Ann Esselink on February 14, 2013

in Arts,Farce,Jean Ann Esselink,News,War on Women

Today is V-Day, the day the world focus is on ending violence against women. This year, women are being asked to dance. Since as a para, dancing is not my best thing, I hope you will allow me to present my own whimsical contribution, If Vaginas Could Bite. I’m much better with words….



If vaginas had teeth,
Then men would be wary,
Before taking their fists,
To the women they marry.

Men might start caring,
About what’s in her head,
Not just the ways,
To get into her bed.

Inconsiderate lovers,
Would suddenly worry,
Is this how you like it?
No hurry. No hurry.

We wouldn’t need rape laws,
Any man who would try,
Would find nothing left,
To zip into his fly.

And pedophiles would not,
Dare think to linger,
Knowing a girl child,
Could bite off his finger.

Clitorectomies would be,
A thing of the past,
The first man to try one,
Would be the dead last.

And male politicians,
Might leave ours alone,
With a toothy vagina,
Waiting at home.

We’d have better men,
If they faced every night,
An up or down verdict,
by vaginas that bite.

Image from

tncrmJean Ann Esselink is a straight friend to the gay community. Proud and loud Liberal. Closet writer of political fiction. Black sheep agnostic Democrat from a conservative Catholic family. Living in Northern Oakland County Michigan with Puck the Wonder Beagle.

Follow me on Twitter as @Uncucumbered or friend me on Facebook.

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Brian Stroup February 14, 2013 at 4:18 pm

Wow. SO offensive.

ChristianDJ February 15, 2013 at 3:44 am


cmrogan February 15, 2013 at 2:06 am

Indeed, it is SO Offensive. Her points are valid, though. I am still single at 59. I've dated ALL of U men. I think because it is SO graphic, it is compelling to read the words, heed the words, Consider the VAWA has NOT been passed because half of the country hates women and doesn't think we're valid. Get it together. Stop being so selfish.

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