'You Are SOFT and WEAK, Something This Budget Is Designed to Eliminate' Satirical Article Says
The Trump White House sends a daily email touting its successes, the President's upcoming schedule, and other items of note. Included in today's edition of "1600 Daily" is a Washington Post article titled, "Trump’s budget makes perfect sense and will fix America, and I will tell you why." The article is satire. The "why" includes observations like Trump's budget will "punch the impoverished in the face."
As many on Twitter noted, clearly no one in the White House Press Office read the article before including it.
"Some people are complaining that the budget proffered by the Trump administration, despite its wonderful macho-sounding name, is too vague and makes all sorts of cuts to needed programs in favor of increasing military spending by leaps and bounds," Washington Post blogger Alexandra Petri writes.
These people are wimps. Office of Management and Budget Director Mick Mulvaney has called it a 'hard power budget' which is, I think, the name of an exercise program where you eat only what you can catch, pump up your guns and then punch the impoverished in the face. This, conveniently, is also what the budget does.
This budget will make America a lean, mean fighting machine with bulging, rippling muscles and not an ounce of fat. America has been weak and soft for too long. BUT HOW WILL I SURVIVE ON THIS BUDGET? you may be wondering. I AM A HUMAN CHILD, NOT A COSTLY FIGHTER JET. You may not survive, but that is because you are SOFT and WEAK, something this budget is designed to eliminate.
Referring to Trump budget director Mick Mulvaney's claim that Meals on Wheels is "just not showing any results," and therefore funding for it will be cut, Petri mockingly writes: "Feed children just to feed them? What are we, SOFT? No. No we are not."
Petri took to Twitter to weigh in:
*sigh* no one reads any more— Alexandra Petri (@petridishes) March 17, 2017
Some other responses via Twitter:
Alternately, some genius did this on purpose and just trusted that no one in the administration would read past the headline; if so, bless.— Molly Templeton (@mollytempleton) March 17, 2017
Never lose sight of Trump and his aides being insane — but also, these people suck at their jobs *sooo haaaard*. https://t.co/QDuDDirYX5— Greg Greene (@ggreeneva) March 17, 2017
Stevens' Law: the longer the Trump admin exists, the probability an Internet troll adage will enter the popular lexicon approaches 1.— Jay Stevens (@Snevets_Yaj) March 17, 2017