• Source: Tumblr
  • Leelah Alcorn's Mother: 'We Loved Him Unconditionally' But 'Don't Support That, Religiously'

    Leelah Alcorn's mother says she loved her "son" but that they didn't support her being transgender for religious reasons. 

    Leelah Alcorn was 17 when she walked in front of a truck this past weekend. She grew up in a tiny town about 20 miles from Cincinnati, Ohio, and was the oldest of four children.

    The world now knows that Leelah had a troubled relationship with her parents, who insisted on sending her to Christian therapists because she was transgender and repeatedly have refused to acknowledge Leelah as a girl.

    RELATED: Dan Savage: Parents Of Trans Teen Leelah Alcorn 'Threw Her In Front Of That Truck'

    Carla Alcorn, Leelah's mother spoke with CNN yesterday, saying they could not support "him" being transgender, "religiously."

    "But we told him that we loved him unconditionally. We loved him no matter what. I loved my son. People need to know that I loved him. He was a good kid, a good boy."

    Carla Alcorn told CNN that her child was depressed and that counselors and a psychiatrist gave the teenager medication.

    "He just quit talking about it (being transgender)," she said.

    Her child came to her only once to say he was transgender, Carla Alcorn insisted.

    The first time she heard the name Leelah was on the teen's suicide note.

    "He never said that name before," she said.

    Carla Alcorn recalled her teen asking for transition surgery. She told her child no, she said, because "we didn't have the money for anything like that."

    On Facebook, Carla also referred to Leelah as her "son," and "he," despite her daughter identifying as female.

    Alcorn, CNN reports, "said that there has not been a service for the teen because people have threatened to protest."

    Aidan Key, founder of Gender Diversity says his "compassion is there for the parents. All any parent wants is love for their children, for their children to live good lives. Transgender is such a new thing in society and we've not faced it or discussed it as a society. We've kept it in a dark corner where some people still think it's some deviant sexual behavior."

    "If the parents would have reached out for more information, or said 'This is a lot. We need some time,' or if they had access to a group that would welcome them to talk, that might have made the difference for Leelah."

    The transgender Human Rights Institute has a Change.org petition: "Enact Leelah's Law to Ban Transgender Conversion Therapy." It currently has over 140,000 signatories.

    The Facebook group Justice for Leelah Alcorn has close to 25,000 supporters. 

    There is a Stand Up 4 Leelah Candle Vigil on Friday, organized by Have A Gay Day, and a candlelight vigil at Leelah's school on Saturday organized by Support Marriage Equality in Ohio.

    On Twitter, the hashtag #LeelahAlcorn is being used by many to comment on the tragedy. 

    UPDATE - 1.2.15:
    New And Disturbing Details Emerge About Leelah Alcorn's Life From Posts She Made To Reddit

     

    Image via Tumblr

    Get weekly news & updates
    Subscribe
    Support our work DONATE



    Register to VOTE

    Showing 86 comments

    Please check your e-mail for a link to activate your account.

    • commented 2015-11-28 22:51:01 -0500
      I read basically the same horrifying words yesterday bin reference to my daughter.

    • commented 2015-01-05 22:49:50 -0500
      UNCONDITIONALLY’ huh?
      These so-called ‘parents’ are the reason she killed herself FFS!… This shit boils my blood…after reading some of the ignorant, closed-minded comments from inbred, brain-washed SHEEP, can you blame me for my effing stance AGAINST ALL RELIGIONS!? GRRRRRR!!!!
      Personally, I say EFF the parents. Its too bad you will only ROT and DECAY in the ground after you croak…if there WAS a EFFING HELL, You CERTAINLY earned your spots next to ‘Satan’.
      Effing religion…Im tempted to go buy some ex-lax and a BUY-BULL just so I can wipe my a$$ with its pages!!

    • commented 2015-01-04 20:54:10 -0500
      I don’t understand how the parents could say they love their child unconditionally then say they can’t accept their child because of their religion.

    • commented 2015-01-04 18:32:52 -0500
      As an LGBT teen, I can definitely say we all stand with Leelah. Her parents killed her. Her parents threw her in front of that truck. If you have the nerve, the gall, to say anything different then I hope you never, ever have a child.

    • commented 2015-01-04 15:05:12 -0500
      Clearly this mother needs to look into what “unconditional” means. It means you love people for who they are, not who you wish them to be.

    • commented 2015-01-03 11:34:15 -0500
      I just don’t understand how a religious parent can have caused and contributed to this pain. The Virgin Mary and story of Jesus’s birth has been celebrated for thousands of years even though science would explain that she was what we have termed a hermafrodite, containing both reproductive organs.

      People need to take a moment and THINK about the irony of that possibility before blindly following whatever religion wants you to believe. “God” if you choose to believe, gave you a brain to choose between right and wrong. And “Jesus” taught love and acceptance.

      It’s all these crazies that have perversed things to meet their own needs yet followers continue to follow blindly even when lives of those they created and loved are at stake. The world needs you to wake up and stop being followers.

      If Jesus came back today, he would not be pleased with most anything he found. He certainly wouldn’t approve of “textbook Christianinty”.

    • commented 2015-01-03 06:04:22 -0500
      We loved HIM unconditionally? That’s a contradiction in terms. You chose your minister over your child. Your callousness, your remarkable lack of compassion for your own child, is what sent her to her death. She made that abundantly clear in her suicide post.

      No one is buying your “unconditional love” garbage, because it’s obvious you DIDN’T love your child unconditionally. In fact, you hated her, you damaged her and you drove her to her death. You chose religion over being a mother. I wouldn’t want to be you when you meet your Maker. You had a daughter with a genetic medical condition and what did you do? Send her to religious “therapy” which, if you’ve ever read anything, you would know is bogus, harmful and life-threatening.

      You have no right to talk about love at all. You killed your beautiful daughter out of bigotry and hate.

    • commented 2015-01-02 19:01:04 -0500
      This is how most parents are they can only love condifionally mine are the same way so suicide would not effect them i have thought about it many times myself 15 years into transition

    • commented 2015-01-02 15:45:52 -0500
      Frank Colantuona:
      Count me among the offenders,Frank. I should know better than to respond to trolls…

      Thanks for the reminder

    • commented 2015-01-02 15:35:52 -0500
      I suggest that everyone on this comment board ignore Wesleigh’s (WES SCHMATZ) comments for the annoying nonsense that they are! His comments are just to irritate people to gain attention! He obviously has nothing worth while to say and he adds nothing to a serious conversation. What’s really sad is people like him can’t respect the loss of a life by not attacking the victim! He shall one day get his, because you reap what you sow!

    • commented 2015-01-02 15:18:28 -0500
      Her parents love was conditional, NOT unconditional! Now they must live with their guilt! Why couldn’t they just accept her for who she was, not who they wished she would be!!!

    • commented 2015-01-02 15:10:36 -0500
      This quote is from another article on a different topic:“No mother ever starts a journey with a child thinking that she will end up medicating her baby. But on the other hand, how do you not try everything in your power to help your child who struggles every day of his life with demons you cannot beat down through sheer force of will and all the therapy money can buy? I said I would do anything to make the world easier for my little boy, who loves so fiercely and works so hard and yet still struggles. I had to try.” – See more at: http://www.scarymommy.com/the-decision-to-medicate/#sthash.fXwrOL7g.dpuf
      What boils my blood is that these parents did not try. They were looking for solutions that made them feel better, not their child. This is why I say they have the blood on their hands. While suicide is very difficult and personal choice, you can be driven to it. I walked up to that precipice myself, but walked back before going over. Leelah didn’t have the same lifeline.

    • commented 2015-01-02 14:53:23 -0500
      From The Next Door Neighbor of LEELAH ALCORN, Frank “Mike” Davis: Another Posting By Leelah Newly Discovered: NEW Information—-

      LEELAH ALCORN’s POST on REDDIT, About Two Months Ago:

      “Sorry in advance for the long post, but I really need help.
      Hi, I’m Leelah, 16 and MtF/dmab. Ever since I was around 4 or 5 I knew I was a girl, just like most of the lovely ladies on here, but I didn’t actually understand that it was possible to successfully change genders until I was 14. As soon as I found out what transgender meant, I came out to my mom. She reacted extremely negatively, telling me that it was a phase, that I would never truly be a girl, that God doesn’t make mistakes, that I am wrong, and it felt awful.
      She then proceeded to tell my Dad without my consent, and they were both extremely angry with me. They never physically hurt me, but they always talked to me in a very derogatory tone. They would say things like “You’ll never be a real girl” or “What’re you going to do, fuck boys?” or “God’s going to send you straight to hell”. These all made me feel awful about myself, I was christian at the time so I thought that God hated me and that I didn’t deserve to be alive. I cut myself at least once every couple days, and I was constantly thinking about suicide.
      I wanted to see a gender therapist but they wouldn’t let me, they thought it would corrupt my mind. The would only let me see biased Christian therapists, who instead of listening to my feelings would try to change me into a straight male who loved God, and I would cry after every session because I felt like it was hopeless and there was no way I would ever become a girl.
      Eventually I lied to them and told them I was straight and that I was a boy, and then the derogatory speech and neglect started to fade. I tried my absolute hardest to live up to their standards and be a straight male, but eventually I realized that I hated religion and my parents. I came out as gay in school, hoping to ease my friends into the whole LGBT thing before I came out as trans. Although my friends reactions were mostly positive my parents were beyond pissed. They took me out of public school, took away my phone and computer, and wouldn’t let me on social media websites, so I was out of contact with any of my friends. I was like this for 5 months, completely and utterly alone. I wasn’t allowed to talk to anyone outside of church and I wasn’t allowed to be with any of my friends, I just had to stay in my house and be quiet.
      Eventually they came around and gave me my phone back, but they heavily monitored my facebook/twitter/tumblr profiles in case I did anything “stupid” again. Although I got my friends back I wasn’t allowed to talk to them about anything LGBT.
      Since then, I’ve been trying to hang out with my friends more and now that I have a car I have more freedom, but my parents never let me around my friends. I’ve gone out with my friends 3 times in the last year, because every time my parents cancel last minute and make me do something else. It’s like they want me to have enough social interaction so I won’t forget how to interact with humans, but they don’t want me to actually have healthy relationships with people.
      This feels horrible. The way I feel when I talk to my parents and the way my parents treat me like I’m subhuman and that my feelings aren’t valid all make me think that I’m going through abuse, but I don’t know if it counts or not. I’m not physically beaten or hit, but I feel like this is a different kind of abuse, maybe mental or verbal or something.
      Please help me, I don’t know what I should do and I can’t take much more of this. I don’t know if my problem is serious enough that I can contact authorities for help and even if it is I don’t know how much that’ll damage or help my current situation. I’m stuck."

      SOURCE: https://www.reddit.com/…/2km6yt/is_this_considered_abuse/

    • commented 2015-01-02 14:51:47 -0500
      I’m the mother of a MtF young woman of 22, recently graduated from college, just starting a wonderful job in the profession of her choice. I so wish I could have been there to give Leelah what I gave to my child, the support to do what she desperately wanted and needed to do. Just crying a lot, and hoping that what Leelah said will be fulfilled, that her death will make a difference and help the world, because it’s too late now for her.

    • commented 2015-01-02 14:33:02 -0500
      As the mother of a gay teen I cannot imagine telling her she is not who she says she is, that she needs to find God to change.. Sick. So unlike what Jesus commanded.

      The saying attributed to Maya Angelou, “When someone tells you who they are, believe them”, was meant actions rather than words, but I feel it is appropriate in Leelah’s case and the millions of others who tell people WHO THEY ARE and are turned away.

    • commented 2015-01-02 14:12:51 -0500
      It’s amazing everyone “follows” Jesus but forgets everything he SAID… A Huge problem in Christianity… But hey were all sinners so you can always fall back on that excuse… (Another misunderstood concept.)
      These parents might as well have killed this kid with their bare hands… They tech did.
      Pretty sad that was their reply. RiP.
      At least Gender Dysphoria is finally a mainstream things. These kids can live their entire lives in their right manner the earlier they are getting help.

    • commented 2015-01-02 13:09:54 -0500
      That’s all the response he’s getting from me, but let me just point out that saying the shit he’s saying about mental illness and trans people, and wilfully misgendering a dead girl, all in a space where trans people are likely to see it and in a context in which we will all be primed to remember our own troubled pasts and severe traumas, is not just trolling. It’s wildly irresponsible, and it’s cruel, and it’s dangerous, and he’s part of the problem.

    • commented 2015-01-02 13:05:22 -0500
      I’m a trans woman and a survivor of a teenage suicide attempt and Wes Schmatz is an ambulatory pile of shit.

    • commented 2015-01-02 13:04:44 -0500
      Really, folks. If we all just ignore Mr. Schmutz he will suffocate from lack of attention and the rest of us can have an actual conversation.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:58:40 -0500
      When someone says “I’m just making sure you knew (sic)” then blathers on with his baseless braggadocio is simply begging for attention. No one cares, Wes, what your beliefs or opinions are. That you post on this tragedy with such empty arrogance and ignorance shows your true character.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:41:00 -0500
      It’s true I’m sure your dog would have more compassion. If you kill yourself you don’t deserve any especially if you have the ignorance to blame others for your weakness.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:36:03 -0500
      Well, we can treat him the way he’s treating others. For example, Wesleigh, you keep using Leelah’s birth name. However, your name is clearly a shortened name: the proper form is Wesleigh, meaning the maiden from the west meadow. Since you believe so much in proper names, I’m sure you won’t mind us calling you that, right fair maiden? ;)

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:30:04 -0500
      Wes has some serious issues with this topic, for whatever reason. His opinion is neither “high class”, “intellectual”, nor educated." Frankly, it doesn’t even matter. My dog has more compassion for the pain of others than this inbred doofus.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:29:55 -0500
      Mr. Docker assumes I’m a follower of “God” and model my life after a holy almighty book that somehow has all the answers to the world when in reality I have the answers myself I don’t need to be spoon fed.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:17:52 -0500
      Wes Schmatz assures us that assertions backed by evidence are for “high class” intellectuals. This, perhaps, explains why Christianity thrives among the trailer park set, and among the slums of Africa, Central and South America , and America’s South. It also explains why our ChristoZealots are so content to live their lives as an obedient sheep. To live as domesticated sheep, after all, requires nothing more than to submit to the alpha sheep and to the shepherd.

      It is, simply, to live stupid,
      and to be smugly content with that.

      Message to Wes and your trailer park pal-arounds: God did not give us our magnificent brains merely to be obedient!

      You are doomed.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:16:43 -0500
      Oh, the Bible verse I cited proves it’s not religion. It’s ignorant people who don’t understand their own religion. Creeps who use the tragic death of a young girl to troll and dance on her grave is even worse, though.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:14:26 -0500
      Ok, I’m just making sure you knew but all in all what I’m trying to say is Joshua is the only one to blame here, not the parents, not society, not the establishment; not even religion as crazy as religion is.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:06:30 -0500
      *willfully

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:06:05 -0500
      Wes Schamtz – Correct, just as there is no rule preventing educated participants in this forum from challenging the vacuous rantings of the wilfully ignorant.

    • commented 2015-01-02 12:01:39 -0500
      I don’t need to do anything, if this thread required me to cite sources to be able to comment or provide specific examples to back up my opinion then maybe but is doesn’t. You seem to be thinking this thread is for the high class intellectuals only and there are certain qualifications to be able to post a comment.

    Your rights, your movement.
    Join today:
    Your rights, your movement.
    Join today: