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    The LGBT-Blaming Doomsayers

    Need an LGBT-ego boost? These religious fundamentalists fancy queer sexuality as responsible for every perceived national crisis and global calamity ever! Great work on existing, you delightfully-omnipotent queers.

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    If you take them at face value, outraged religious fundamentalists think that LGBT people literally control the universe. From climate changes and astrological phenomenons to spiritual warfare and the nation's economy, it all ebbs and flows to the rhythms of the queer libido, heart and soul.

    Yesterday, The Advocate posted a solid rundown of several anti-gay characters who blame queers for the most-ridiculous things! It's guaranteed to feed your insatiably-evil queer ego, so check it out. You'll discover new evil powers you didn't know you don't have.

    To be honest, most gays and queers have heard all this rhetoric countless times before. (Fundamentalists are not especially skilled in developing new scapegoating material.) However, there are a few surprisingly-innovative doozies, as well as updates on the old traditional standbys that you don't want to miss.

    Take for example Congressman Bill Flores (R-TX), who thinks same-sex families caused riots in Baltimore. There's Fox News host Todd Starnes, who posits that one's sexual orientation is linked to an inability to distinguish between capitalism and communism, which will assuredly transform an entire nation into a pinko-communist autocracy. Bill Koenig with World Watch Daily thinks gays caused the California drought. The American Family Association's Brian Fischer fears gays will enslave Christians.

    Linda Harvey, a fundamentalist missionary obsessed with gays and witchcraft, says the gay agenda is to usher into the world a state of permanent Halloween. This new perma-Halloween will be "just as scary and godless as the real Halloween on Oct 31st," she prognosticates. Let's give her credit for a fun idea, but it's not going to happen. Sorry, Linda.

    Ken Ham, the con-man/founder behind the Creation Museum, says thanks to us queers it won't be long till everyone's walking around innocently nude — like in the Bible's Garden of Eden. Ham thinks us queers can literally turn back time, within the cannon of his faith, to a world before sin and death. Is that a compliment? I grew up among evangelical fundamentalists, but even I can't parse this one.

    I don't know about you, but I'm feeling pretty-pretty good about myself right now. It's refreshing, taking a break from rhetorically combating prejudice and inequality, to sit back and bask in the bizarre reality that crazy fundamentalists think you're a vengeful god-like being with preternatural powers over damn-near everything. 

    And, they're not kidding! These are lobbyists, lawmakers and pundits with money and followers. It seems they think about us queers all the time — but, especially so when they need someone to blame for the things they truly do not understand. Which, sadly, is most things.

     

    Image by Jasn via Flickr and a CC license

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