â€œFrom the outside, he looked like the happiest kid. He was always smiling and giving everybody hugs in the halls,â€ said Steph Wheeler, a close friend who had known Jamie since the pair were in figure skating together as children a decade ago. But Wheeler, 16, knew the sensitive boy was struggling with being out in high school and often felt the sting of verbal bullying. She said all that Jamie wanted was what every teenager wants â€” somebody to love. â€œI just remember him wanting a boyfriend so bad, heâ€™d always ask me to find a boy for him. I think he wanted someone to love him for who he was,â€ she said. ... In a post three weeks ago, he said he was depressed, that medications he was taking werenâ€™t working, and that being gay in high school was so hard â€” a thousand times harder in real life than on the popular television show, Glee, which he loved. â€œI hate being the only open gay guy in my school ... It f---ing sucks, I really want to end it,â€ he wrote. ... On Friday, Jamie made a final, heartbreaking post. He thanked his family and his friends, but wrote that he just couldnâ€™t take it anymore. â€œIm tired of life really. Its so hard, Im sorry, I cant take it anymore. â€œIts just too hard,â€ he wrote, later referencing It Gets Better, a popular online campaign in which millions of people have posted heartfelt video messages directed at young people struggling with their sexuality and acceptance in the world. â€œI dont want to wait 3 more years, this hurts too much. How do you even know It will get better? Its not.â€ He ended with another reference, this one to Glee and a subplot this season about Kurt Hummel, a character who is also openly gay and highly talented. â€œRemember me as a Unicorn,â€ he wrote. On the show, the unicorn refers to someone who is different, but special inside.Hubley's YouTube channelÂ has a dozen videos he created on it. One of the last ones he created was his rendition of Lady Gaga's "Born This Way."
http://www.youtube.com/v/ZIecC4kRRKQ?version=3&hl=en_US&rel=0Jamie Hubley'sÂ Tumblr blog was filled with posts about cutting, and images with quotes about depression and suicide, like,
"So I have no friends.
I dont really consider anyone a â€œFriendâ€ anymore, I tried to fix things, Nothing worked. fjklnhkni .-."
"suicidal thoughts are taking over"And,
"The World Minus Me."Hubley's final post was:
Im a casualty of love.
Well,Â Im tired of life really. Its so hard, Im sorry, IÂ cantÂ take it anymore. First Id like to mention my friends Nancy, Abby, Colleen, jemma, and Kasia Being sad is sadÂ : /. Iâ€™v been like this for way to long. I cant stand school, I cant stand earth, I cant stand society, I cant stand the scars on my arms, I cant fucking stand any fucking thing. I dont want my parents to think this is their fault eitherâ€¦ I love my mom and dadÂ : ) Its just too hard. I dont want to wait 3 more years, this hurts too much. How do you even know It will get better? Its not. I hit rock fucking bottom, fell through a crack, now im stuck. My favorite singers were lady gaga , Adele , Katy perry, andÂ Jessie james, Christina aguilara and most of all I think KASIA!!! I LOVED Singing, and she helped me a lotÂ Â : ) Im not that good at it though :â€/, Im going to miss you guys (well You know who you are, But to the people who didnt like me (many) A big fuck you, Go ride a unicorn. But w/e I love you anyway.) Remember me as a Unicorn :3 x) MAybe in my next life Il be a flying squirreel :D Â Il fly away.
man, i never knew you too well. and yah you know what i probably said mean things about you that were un called for and just plain out rude. I am soo sorry if anything i ever said about you brought you to this poiint. it makes me feel terrible inside knowing that i was one of the people who pushed you towards making the decision that you made, i know its too late now and that your never going to get the chance to read this but if you do i am so very sorry, you deserved nothing but the best, and a little message to who ever made fun of james .. he wasnt a bad person, he never did anything to harm you, i encourage all of you to sit back and take a minute to realize that everybody is an equal, it doesnt matter weather your kind of weird, or "gay", your a person just like everybody else and deep down everybody just wants to be accepted and everybody just wants to be loved, show a little more love. R.I.P James HubleyAnd another,
i was driving around kanata and i looked in the sky and i saw a rainbow :) â™¥Suicide remains one of the primary causes of death for teens in American and in Canada. LGBT youth are especially susceptible, and anti-gay bullying is a direct causal factor, yet many on the right and many in the religious community falsely claim that anti-bullying programs are veiled attempts to indoctrinate youth into "the gay lifestyle." Studies show a very different reality, that children and teens -- regardless of orientation or gender identity -- who live in areas that are not conservative attempt suicide at far lower rates than youth who live in primarily conservative environments.